The Day I Left the Womb

Sitting on a hidden bench far away from the kids games, Gerard smiled at me. Our hands were still connected and my heart was pounding hard.

“So…” I said, trying to break the silence between us.

“I should explain what happened yesterday and the other day.” Gerard cut me off with his words and I looked at him paying attention.

“Go ahead,”

“I didn’t know you wanted to meet me in the park yesterday ‘cause I didn’t have my cell phone with me. Mikey had it.” I gulped. “He was playing with it when your text message appeared on the screen, and he erased it.”

“So how did you…” I tried to ask curious about how he knew about the park meeting.

“Mikey confessed that night that he deleted the message, well, confessed isn’t the best word.” He sighed heavily and smiled at me. “I was talking about you that night and he slipped that you probably still be waiting for me in the park.”

That little fucker, how can he be so fucking cruel? I haven’t done anything to him!

“After that I started asking about it, and he told me everything. I was really angry at him. I swear to you Frankie that if I’ve received that message I would had come yesterday. I would never leave you waiting.” His hand reached my face and he caressed my cheek, taking away a single tear that came down my eyes.

“It’s okay, I know...” I kissed the palm of his hands over and over again. I don’t care; I swear I don’t care if Mikey hates me. Nothing matters if Gerard is here with me. Nothing matters if I can feel his kisses or his hands on me.

“And about the other day…” Gerard took his hand off my face, looking down embarrassed. I think he was trying to find the right words to explain the whole ‘kiss’ situation. “Mikey, he’s special you know? I’m the only one he has.”

“What about your parents?” I asked in confusion.

“They’re dead.” He answered coldly without looking at me.

“I’m… I’m so s-sorry” I stuttered feeling nervous. I didn’t know, I swear I didn’t. “How did…?” I asked.

“It’s a complicated story,” Gerard said still looking at the sky. “I’m not sure if you wanna hear it.” He said looking sad.

“I’ll heart it if you wanna tell me baby” I said calling him by nickname for the first time, leaning forward to kiss him on the lips.

“Alright then,” he sighed. “I’ll tell you what happened.” He kissed me again and I felt a salty flavor on his lips. He already had tears falling down his face.

“My mom killed my dad ‘cause he was gonna leave her for some other women.” I looked at him in disbelief. “The day he attempted to leave her, my mom took a big knife out of the kitchen and killed my dad. Mikey and I were in our rooms, hearing the screams.” I gasped in horror, is he for real? “Mom came upstairs and took Mikey away from me. She started yelling about him being the only son she loved.” I took his hand trying to comfort him, seeing the pain on his beautiful face. “She said she was gonna take Mikey with her, that she was going to take him to the other life.” Gerard started sobbing quietly, while more tears came down his eyes. “She was about to put the knife on Mikey’s heart when I stopped her. I pushed her and I hugged Mikey ‘till the cops arrived. I think the neighbors called the police when they heard Mikey screaming loudly that he didn’t want to die.”

“How old were you and Mikey?” I asked scare of the answer.

“I think Mikey had like four or five years old. I was nine.” Gerard sobbed and I tried to clean the tears from his cheeks with my fingers.

“Did you mom do anything to you?” I asked scared of the answer.

“She stabbed me on my hip,” he whispered showing me a big scar under his tight jeans. My hand moved by itself to the scar and touched it, Gerard moaned softly and looked to the sky again.

I took my hand off and stared at Gee, waiting for him to continue.

“Mom killed herself when the police arrived to the house. And they took me and Mikey to the hospital. I think I almost bleed to death,” Gerard sighed. “But I couldn’t leave my baby brother alone. He screamed all the way to the hospital to not leave him. That I couldn’t leave him because he loved me and that he was gonna die if I left him.”

“Mikey…” I whispered feeling sorry for the kid. He was still a fucker, but at least I could understand why he’s so fucked up. Why he doesn’t want me to steal his brother from him.

“You’re not the first one Mikey tries to scare away. My friends don’t like to go to my home because of him.” Gerard grabbed my hand again. “We lived with our grandma Elena ‘till last year. But she died. And that’s something I don’t wanna talk about it.” He said leaving the subject pretty clear, I didn’t try to ask anything about it.

“Mikey doesn’t want anyone to get near ‘cause he’s scare I’ll leave him alone. That I’m gonna leave him forever, and he has this weird ideas that we should be together forever and that’s he’s the only one for me.”

“But that’s sick,” I whispered. “You’re brothers.”

Gerard showed sadness in his eyes after I talked.

“I know, but I love him.” Gerard hugged me tightly crying harder than ever. “He’s my brother, I can’t leave him! I know it’s sick, but he’ll get over it one day…” Gee sobbed and I couldn’t help feel sorry for him too. And I thought I had a hard life.

“It’s okay Gee, shhh…” I kissed him softly on his neck and his face, trying to calm him. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”

He looked at me straight in the eyes, like looking for some kind of answer to an untold question.

“Gee…” I said before Gerard attached his lips with mines, kissing me hard. Like if he was desperate to feel love.
He grabbed the back of my head with one of his hands and I put my hands on his face, cleaning the tears once again.

“I love you…” he whispered when he separated our mouths. “Don’t ever leave me, don’t ever leave me.” He said in a desperate tone, kissing me again not letting me say anything.

Gerard Way, you’re one fucked up boy, just like me. And I fucking love you.

“I’ll never leave you,” I finally could said when I gasped for air. “I’d rather die.” That answer made Gerard happy, he smiled and hugged me kissing my neck and cheeks.

“I’m so glad I found you.” He kissed me again and I felt like crying. Nothing could be better than this.