The Day I Left the Womb

Gerard left me at my house that afternoon and we didn't mention again the subject about his dead parents or his incestuous brother.
We hold each other's hands and we talked about irrelevant things on our walk to my home. Smiling once in a while, pretending everything was alright.

Nothing new.
I was used to pretend things were fine. I was used to pretend my life was perfect when it was totally fucked up and I'm pretty sure Gerard was used to as well.
His life wasn't easier than me at all.

I loved seeing him smile.
That pretty smile on his face could take away all the bad feeling and thoughts I had on my own mind. It was so weird...
Every time I looked into his eyes the only thing I really wanted was making him smile.

Gerard... he had suffered so much, so much than me. And believe me, I've suffered a lot.
I can understand perfectly why he's so desperate for love, why he asked me with tears in his eyes to not ever leave him.

People at the park were staring at us all the time, while we hugged, while we kissed, while I cleaned his tears with softly kissed on his cheek. Everybody was staring at us like we had some kind of disease, specially a mom taking care of their kids on the playground.
Maybe she thought we were going to make her kids queers as well.
Fucking people...

I hate intolerant people so much; they have no idea, no idea...
They can't even imagine how our life is already difficult enough; we definitely don't need their disgusted looks on us.

Gerard didn't say much when we stood up from the bench and started walking. Tears were still remaining in his eyes, though his lips were forming a sweet smile.
I was pretty sure I was the first one hearing that story in a long time. Hell, I was maybe the first person Gerard ever told what happened that day.

All those things just made me keep wondering about the Way family in general.
If their mother tried to kill her husband and their own childs, maybe it was genetic thing, you know?
I heard something about it once, the suicide and killer gen its inside all of us. But only a few people developed it for real.
If their mother was a suicide killer, maybe one of their kids was already like her.... Maybe Mikey was gonna end up like her.
But fuck, who could blame him?

I know, I know... he's an idiot. A sick idiot who tried to poison me because he wants his own brother for himself. But his mother tried to kill him when he was four! She tried to kill him claiming that she didn't wanna go to hell alone, and that she loved Mikey more than Gerard...
I wonder how Gerard would have feel on that moment, and how much he really loved his baby brother to give his life for him... to fight for his life...

Gee...
I knew I had to heal his old wounds. He needed love, and who was I to deny it from him?
I loved him already so much.
Who would have thought my life was going to change so much in such a short time?
It's even kinda funny.
But I don't care, I couldn't care less... All I want right now is being with him.

I swear to fucking god who is in heaven, I'm going to help him deal with all the shit inside his mind.
And maybe, I'll be able to help Mikey as well...

The band posters covering my walls stared at me while I took my clothes off and put my pajama pants on.
I went to bed with his image on my head, his cute smile and his white teeth. His black hair and his beautiful skin.

I needed to get some sleep...
Tomorrow was gonna be another day at school, but everything would be different.
Everything would be completely different.
Are Gerard and I dating?
I don't know, we never actually said the words boyfriends... but, he did ask me to stay with him forever...
And that's something, right?