Status: complete :)
Love Isn't Love, 'Til You Give It Away
Tell Me That It's Over
Once I was downstairs, I realised that everyone else was ready to go. I didn't say anything, just went out and stood next to the car, waiting for everyone else. "Nick?" I turned my head and saw Joe standing in front of me, a look of fear on his face. I didn't say anything. "Nick, um, I'm sorry." My expression didn't change. So he'd apologised. That didn't change the fact that he did it. I heard the car unlock and I turned and got inside, sitting in my usual seat. "Nick, please," Joe said, climbing in after me and sitting beside me. "Please listen to me. I was shocked. I wasn't given enough time to think properly. I know I acted badly. I do. And I'm so, so sorry. Please forgive me." I turned and looked at him as I took my iPod out of my pocket. I looked into his eyes and knew he genuinely felt bad for what he did. I looked back at my iPod screen as I found something to listen to. "Do you forgive me?" he asked.
"Sure," I said, my voice still as flat as it had been when I'd spoken to Kevin earlier. I put in my ear buds, effectively ending the conversation. I heard Joe swear but I didn't react, pretending I hadn’t heard.
The rest of the family piled into the car then. The atmosphere was tense and nervous, all of us anxious about what was about to happen. But I wasn't thinking about that. I was thinking about Joe. He probably believed I didn't forgive him. But I think I did. I mean, I could see how bad he felt for what he did. I know he regrets it. But just because he was sorry and felt bad about how he acted, doesn’t mean that he won't do it again. Or that anyone else wouldn’t ever act in the same way he had. Just because he'd apologised I wasn't going to let down my walls. They were in place and they weren’t going anywhere.
Once we arrived at the studios, we all got out of the car and looked up at the large imposing building. Everyone around me shifted uneasily. I was the first person to move. I started walking towards the front entrance, Kevin close behind me and then everyone else behind him. I don’t think Frankie had any idea what was going on, but he could sense it was something important.
"Hello, boys," the receptionist said. She was usually the one who normally met us. I think her name was Sarah, or Sally or Susan...or something like that. "How are we all doing?" she asked us happily. I think everyone else gave her a glare because she quickly blushed and turned away. "Um, this way." We all followed her down the corridor and round several corners. We very rarely came to the business part of Disney Studios. But I wasn't going to stop to admire the furnishings. We came here for a reason. "Please take a seat," the receptionist said. "You will be called in shortly." My mum murmured her thanks as we all sat.
We were waiting for about 15 minutes before the door to the conference room opened. A man came out who we hadn’t met before. Regardless, we all stood. "Boys, please come in," he said. "Uh, just the boys." I guessed my parents had made to come in as well.
"I'm their manager," dad said. "I think I have a right to-"
"Just the boys," the man said sternly. I didn't care whether dad was there or not, so I just walked into the room.
The room was well lit, with windows covering 2 of the 4 walls. There were also lights on the high ceiling as well. I briefly wondered if they'd heard of saving electricity, but then moved on. I heard the door shut behind me and knew Joe and Kevin were behind me. There were no available seats, so I guessed we were to remain standing for this meeting. I could work out 1 thing from that – we wouldn’t be here long. The three of us stood at the front of the room and turned to face the room. There were about 10 people sitting at a semi-circular desk. To them, it would be a horse-shoe the lucky way round. To people standing in our position, it would be unlucky. I couldn’t help but notice the irony.
"We're going to get straight to the point," one man, who sat in the middle of the horse-shoe, said. "Whether it is true or not, Joe announced that Nick is gay. On national television. Kids everywhere would have heard that news and parents would have to explain it to them." He stopped but none of us said anything. "Disney does not want that kind of publicity. If you had told us first, we would have warned you that if you came out publicly, Disney would withdraw it's support of the Jonas Brothers. Unfortunately, as we didn't predict this situation, no warning was given, and now it's done. Disney cannot be associated with a gay band."
I didn't want to point out that he was discriminating, because I knew these weren’t his personal beliefs, and he was just repeating what he'd been told to say.
"As of today, Disney and the Jonas Brothers have no further links." The finality of that statement drilled into me, through my walls, and I felt a small sense of disappointment. But I didn't let it show. I'd already accepted that this would happen. I wasn't surprised. But I couldn’t help feeling a sense of...loss? That wasn't quite the right word. But I felt so unnerved knowing I didn't have a company behind us.
I turned and left the room. "Nick!" I heard Kevin call after me, but I had nothing to say, and they made it clear they were finished. Nothing more was needed. I opened the door and was faced with mum, dad and Frankie.
"Nick? What happened?" dad asked, rushing over to me. I didn't answer. It was a stupid question. What did they think would happen? We were called in because Disney wanted to show their support? Kevin and Joe then emerged from the room and mum and dad turned to them, hoping to get an answer.
As no one was paying any attention to me anymore, I slipped passed them and walked away. It was a half an hour drive home, so I knew it was a hell of a walk, but I didn't care. I didn't have anything better to do and the weather was decent. I briefly glanced back and saw that everyone was in a huddle, talking about what had just happened. Everyone except Joe. He was sitting on a chair, head in his hands, his shoulders shaking. He was crying. He knew this was his fault.
As I walked, I thought. I couldn’t believe that my career was over, just like that. I was gay; I couldn’t be a public figure. I suppose this is my fault for telling everyone just before we went on a live show. I mean, it must have been a shock. I can't really blame Joe for reacting in that way. In hindsight, I wouldn’t have said anything. But I did and now everything's over.
"Sure," I said, my voice still as flat as it had been when I'd spoken to Kevin earlier. I put in my ear buds, effectively ending the conversation. I heard Joe swear but I didn't react, pretending I hadn’t heard.
The rest of the family piled into the car then. The atmosphere was tense and nervous, all of us anxious about what was about to happen. But I wasn't thinking about that. I was thinking about Joe. He probably believed I didn't forgive him. But I think I did. I mean, I could see how bad he felt for what he did. I know he regrets it. But just because he was sorry and felt bad about how he acted, doesn’t mean that he won't do it again. Or that anyone else wouldn’t ever act in the same way he had. Just because he'd apologised I wasn't going to let down my walls. They were in place and they weren’t going anywhere.
Once we arrived at the studios, we all got out of the car and looked up at the large imposing building. Everyone around me shifted uneasily. I was the first person to move. I started walking towards the front entrance, Kevin close behind me and then everyone else behind him. I don’t think Frankie had any idea what was going on, but he could sense it was something important.
"Hello, boys," the receptionist said. She was usually the one who normally met us. I think her name was Sarah, or Sally or Susan...or something like that. "How are we all doing?" she asked us happily. I think everyone else gave her a glare because she quickly blushed and turned away. "Um, this way." We all followed her down the corridor and round several corners. We very rarely came to the business part of Disney Studios. But I wasn't going to stop to admire the furnishings. We came here for a reason. "Please take a seat," the receptionist said. "You will be called in shortly." My mum murmured her thanks as we all sat.
We were waiting for about 15 minutes before the door to the conference room opened. A man came out who we hadn’t met before. Regardless, we all stood. "Boys, please come in," he said. "Uh, just the boys." I guessed my parents had made to come in as well.
"I'm their manager," dad said. "I think I have a right to-"
"Just the boys," the man said sternly. I didn't care whether dad was there or not, so I just walked into the room.
The room was well lit, with windows covering 2 of the 4 walls. There were also lights on the high ceiling as well. I briefly wondered if they'd heard of saving electricity, but then moved on. I heard the door shut behind me and knew Joe and Kevin were behind me. There were no available seats, so I guessed we were to remain standing for this meeting. I could work out 1 thing from that – we wouldn’t be here long. The three of us stood at the front of the room and turned to face the room. There were about 10 people sitting at a semi-circular desk. To them, it would be a horse-shoe the lucky way round. To people standing in our position, it would be unlucky. I couldn’t help but notice the irony.
"We're going to get straight to the point," one man, who sat in the middle of the horse-shoe, said. "Whether it is true or not, Joe announced that Nick is gay. On national television. Kids everywhere would have heard that news and parents would have to explain it to them." He stopped but none of us said anything. "Disney does not want that kind of publicity. If you had told us first, we would have warned you that if you came out publicly, Disney would withdraw it's support of the Jonas Brothers. Unfortunately, as we didn't predict this situation, no warning was given, and now it's done. Disney cannot be associated with a gay band."
I didn't want to point out that he was discriminating, because I knew these weren’t his personal beliefs, and he was just repeating what he'd been told to say.
"As of today, Disney and the Jonas Brothers have no further links." The finality of that statement drilled into me, through my walls, and I felt a small sense of disappointment. But I didn't let it show. I'd already accepted that this would happen. I wasn't surprised. But I couldn’t help feeling a sense of...loss? That wasn't quite the right word. But I felt so unnerved knowing I didn't have a company behind us.
I turned and left the room. "Nick!" I heard Kevin call after me, but I had nothing to say, and they made it clear they were finished. Nothing more was needed. I opened the door and was faced with mum, dad and Frankie.
"Nick? What happened?" dad asked, rushing over to me. I didn't answer. It was a stupid question. What did they think would happen? We were called in because Disney wanted to show their support? Kevin and Joe then emerged from the room and mum and dad turned to them, hoping to get an answer.
As no one was paying any attention to me anymore, I slipped passed them and walked away. It was a half an hour drive home, so I knew it was a hell of a walk, but I didn't care. I didn't have anything better to do and the weather was decent. I briefly glanced back and saw that everyone was in a huddle, talking about what had just happened. Everyone except Joe. He was sitting on a chair, head in his hands, his shoulders shaking. He was crying. He knew this was his fault.
As I walked, I thought. I couldn’t believe that my career was over, just like that. I was gay; I couldn’t be a public figure. I suppose this is my fault for telling everyone just before we went on a live show. I mean, it must have been a shock. I can't really blame Joe for reacting in that way. In hindsight, I wouldn’t have said anything. But I did and now everything's over.
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