I Won't Lie to You

I couldn’t help but look at Nicolas while we were eating at the restaurant we were at. I watched him as he pushed around the vegetables, but didn’t eat any. The only thing he so much as touched was the shrimp. But again, I was feeling protective of him like I did at breakfast. He needs to eat, dammit!

“Eat your food, dammit.” I tried, but it came out as a growl. God… I suck. I must seem like such a jerk to him. But it was the nicotine, I swear. I mean, I care about this kid, you seriously think I’d fuck that up? Then his face contorted into a look of annoyance.Not saying that it wasn’t cute.

“I was, until you started talking to me,” the he sighed and pushed around the food again before adding in a quiet voice, “I didn’t like anything but the shrimp…”

“God, you’re so picky,” I lashed out, instantly regretting it. It was starting to get redundant how I’d do that and regret it.

Then his fork clattered to the ground and he bent over to pick it up. Suddenly, there was this urge to do something nice for him. Something that I could do to help make up for being such a dick. I shoveled all the shrimp I had on my plate to his.

When he came back up, he glanced around the table before looking up at me in shock, not expecting that I’d give him my shrimp. Or that I was being nice.

But the look he was giving me forced me into giving a half-false answer. “Don’t misunderstand. I’m paying you back for the drinks.”

“Huh?” For a second I thought he was actually confused before he said, “Damn… and I thought you were growing a heart.”

That’s right, because I’m heartless, because I’ve been nothing but a hindrance to him ever since I came here.

“As if you’d care if I did,” I spat back. And he wouldn’t; he had no reason to care. I understood that.

“Maybe I’d wanna be your friend if you were more human,” he said back. But it was so damn cute because he was still eating the food that I’d given him even though his tone said he was angry.

“You ever think-” There was a slight pause as I realized what I was going to say. You ever think I don’t want to bejust your friend?. What would he think if I said that? He’d be disgusted, no doubt. So I quickly covered up. “I don’t want to be your friend?”

I had to leave after that. If I stayed too long, I felt like I was going to suffocate; suffocate under these… feelings.

I huddled in the back, against the wall of the bathroom.

“H-hey… a-ar-are you… okay?”

My heart jumped as I realized Nicolas had come after me. Like I deserved that.

“No. I’m not,” I wasn’t trying to get sympathy; I just wanted to try, for once, not lying to him about myself.

“I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t mean it. You’re just such a dick to me all the time. I was venting,” he said.

And he was right. I was being a dick; a complete asshole. I didn’t deserve him saying he was sorry to me.

There was a moment of silence before I felt his tiny arms wrap around my body. Something that sent shooting warmth through my body and down through my veins. As cliché as that might sound. But it felt amazing with his arms around me like that. I loved this feeling; I never wanted it to go away.

“Don’t misunderstand: I hate being indebted to people – least of all, you.”

I didn’t care if this was a payback for the shrimp or whatever; I only wanted to keep him here in my arms, which I now had securely wrapped around him, squeezing his small body to mine.

“H-hey! Le-let me go!” He squeaked, realizing that I wasn’t loosening my grip on him.

“Tell me I’m special and I will,” I replied, praying that he wouldn’t have the courage to say it so that he could stay here. But there was also this part of me that wanted him to say I was special.

I felt bad that I was making him do this, but I didn’t want to back out of this now so I figured I had to urge him into saying it. “Well? Don’t you want me to let go? You have to get back to your parents don’t you?”

I could almost feel the ambiguity in his tone as he finally uttered the phrase I felt like I needed to hear. “You’re s-special…” His voice came out as an airy whisper, but it was so nice to hear.

“Good boy,” I said in a rather happy tone. Then he glared and hit me in the head. Not that it hurt – he wasn’t that strong; no offense to him of course.

It was so cute that I just had to laugh. I held out a hand to him and he flinched, like I was going to hurt him or something. But my heart sank when he ended up not taking my hand and standing up on his own.

*~*~*~*

So, here I am, trying to do my fucking homework (which I have a lot of) while this dumbass kid keeps talking about some crappy game. No, I’m not talking about Nicolas; I’m talking about this annoying Cody fucker that keeps talking and talking, and he’d not even aware that Nicolas is fucking sick of it.

So, more than being annoyed by the kid himself, I was annoyed by the fact that he was bugging the living hell out of Nicolas. And that protectiveness is what led me to snap, breaking my mechanical pencil in half.

“Jesus Christ! Do you ever shut up?!” I growled, my glare burning into the boy across the room on Nicolas’s bed.

“I’m just telling him about the game!” The kid shrieked. Is this kid completely fucking brain dead? I’m half a foot taller and bigger in build than him, for fuck’s sake! Like he’d stand a chance against me.

“Yeah? Well it’s getting really fucking annoying!” I hissed, trying to contain my anger.

I knew that if Nicolas saw me in such a volatile state such as beating the kid up, he never let me near him again.

“Then why don’t you leave?!” He came again, and I swear to God, it took everything I had to keep myself from throwing him into the wall.

I had to leave, I realized or else I’d end up murdering him.Though I didn’t want to leave Nicolas here with him.“Fuck this. I’ll be in Mina’s room.”

I took my book and made my way to my sister’s room and resumed studying in there.

“Aww… what’s wrong, Z-bear?”

“Don’t call me that,” I told her, rolling my eyes. “Is this some kind of test?”

“Why, whatever are you talking about?” she questioned, giggling. I glared at her; she knew what I was talking about. That little Cody kid she sent in; I know it was her doing.

I kept up the glaring before she gave in and said, “I thought Nicolas could use a friend.”

“He doesn’t need a friend that annoys the hell out of him,” I said in a low growl before I stormed out of the room and threw open the door to mine and Nicolas’s room. The room that should be Cody-less.

I hated the site that I saw one I was instead the door. Cody was all bent over Nicolas while the delicate boy was struggling under his weight. I didn’t want him touching Nicolas; I didn’t want anyone touching Nicolas.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” I yelled.

“Help me!” Nicolas’s voice came. I didn’t need his plea to launch me into action. Like it came naturally to me, I grabbed Cody’s hair and shirt, pulling him off of Nicolas.

“Go. Home,” I said as menacingly as I could to the now-terrified boy before he darted out the door.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” I cried to the shivering Nicolas as he sat on his bed. “God dammit! You can’t go around trusting just anyone,” I told him before letting my voice get softer and saying, “Okay, okay… fine. You’re okay, right?”

Please say you’re okay, please say I got here in time, I silently pleaded. Relief flooded me as he slowly nodded. I sighed and settled for just tousling his hair in under my hand.