Looking Coldly Through the Glass

She looked through the glass pane that was her bedroom window as she had so many times lost in memories.

As of late she gazed out just hoping to see a face other than her own peering back at her.

It’d been so long since the face she so longed to see stared back at her with his contagious smile.

She remembered how much she hated that smile.

Now she wanted nothing more than to see it even if just once.

She never thought he’d actually give up on her. She thought there’d never be a day where she’d wake up to something other than a tap at her window before it was even light out. The first time it terrified her.

She flew off the side of her bed when she heard the tapping. Cautiously she peeked over seeing the neighbor boy who was already making a nuisance of himself the first day her family moved into the new flat.

She breathed a sigh of relief just knowing it wasn’t some psycho -well murdering psycho she wasn‘t sure about his sanity yet- or the old fashioned vampires of the cinemas that tapped on your window somehow hypnotizing you into letting them in so they can rip your throat out.

She rose to her feet and stomped to her window opening it just enough to give him some hell.

“You must be mental. Who knocks on someone’s window at,” She glanced at her alarm, “3am? I thought you were some sort of serial killer or something.”

His hazel eyes just stayed glued to her pale blue ones and he pushed some of his long dark hair out of his face with his already tattooed hands. “Sorry.” He said with a light chuckle. “I just wanted to see you again.”

She rolled her eyes and pulled the hair tie off her wrist and pulled her long artificially black hair into a ponytail out of stress. “Oliver, leave me be.”

Thinking back she chuckled at how many times he’d told her it wasn’t going to happen with his musical little laugh.

Of course that just led her back to where she was now.

“He lied to me.” She thought holding back her tears.

Her mind wandered back to other occasions all having the same beginning -except she woke with less of a start almost expecting it- Oliver Sykes knocking at her window.

“Love,” He said excitedly climbing through the window. “We got signed!”

She smiled not thinking about it and yawned. “Don’t you have someone who actually likes you to tell?” She asked with her eyelids drooping hardly looking at him.

He laughed again even though she was serious. “You like me. You might not realize it yet, but you do. If you didn’t like me you wouldn’t let me in through your window damn near nightly.” He looked at her and gathered up some courage. “Plus you wouldn’t let me do this.” He said as he caught her face and lowered his lips on hers capturing them in a kiss.

Her hand attached to the back of his head gripping his pretty hair.

Just because she found him irritating didn’t mean she’d turn down a perfectly excellent kiss.

He pulled away smiling like a fool.

Her eyes didn’t even open yet. “No I let you do that because you’re good at it.”

As this memory flashed through her mind she couldn’t help but touch her lips and smile. She remembered the way he always tasted of spearmint like his favorite gum.

As all the good memories came back her mind couldn’t let her forget what ruined it all.

Again they were lost in lust -at least that‘s what she thought it was- their hands all over each other and lips locked tightly.

Words came from Oli’s mouth in this mess that caused her to do what she did.

“What did you just say?” She asked pulling away from him and looking at him hoping she hadn’t heard what she thought she did.

He smiled down at her nervously. “I said I love ya.” He tried to lean in to go back to what he was doing.

She shoved him harshly back and wiggled out from under him.

“What are you doing?” He asked frustrated as she walked away from him pulling her shirt back on.

“Are you daft?” She asked seriously looking at him almost cruelly. “How can you say that? You ruined this whole thing!”

He finally decided to let loose. “You’re the only bird I’ve ever met in my whole fuckin’ life that would get pissed for me telling her ‘I love you’! Ya know that?” He got off the bed and walked over to her. “Do you know how many other girls would kill to have me say that to them?” He thought those words would spur her jealously.

Her glare didn’t soften. “Than go tell one of them! Finally get the hint when I say leave me alone!” She shouted not caring that her parents were asleep upstairs.

His glare got just as icy as hers. “Maybe I will. Obviously all the nice things I’ve done for you since we were sixteen have been wasted. Three years and you’re still just as much of a bitch as day fuckin’ one!” He spun on his heel and went right back out the window.

“Don’t come back!” She shouted as he left.

“I won’t.” He hissed though the window before pushing it back down from the outside.

The best sleep of her life followed the few nights after because she knew it wouldn’t be interrupted.

Then she started waking up in the early hours of the morning thinking she was hearing his gentle knock. Then when she rolled over to look there was no beautiful pale face staring at her waiting to be let in.

Soon enough she realized she missed him.

The tapping at the window equated to her telltale heart.

Now she found herself looking at the window whenever she was home no matter what time it was. It’d only been a short few months and she was cracking.

She needed the boy back. She hadn’t even seen him next door. He’d moved out of his mother’s place.

She thought he’d finally listened to her, he said he would after all.

She rolled over, away from the window.

It was another early morning -3am the same time he came the first time- and she was just laying in her bed doing all she could to keep her back to the window so she could attempt to sleep instead of watching the window willing his face to be there.

The tapping in her head was back.

She clamped her eyes shut and tried to hold back the tears.

She couldn’t believe her own mind could put her through so much.

Then the tapping got heavier and a soft voice came with it.

“Kat. Kat open the window.” His voice hoarse like he’d just had a show.

Her mind couldn’t have spun this up. She flipped and was greeted by face through the glass that she’d been unable to forget. She sprung from her bed so fast she almost fell but she didn’t slow just continued and ripped the window open allowing him to enter.

“Miss me that much?” He said with his trademark chuckle as he climbed in noticing her enthusiasm.

She just blushed, not used to the vulnerability this brought. “I thought you were never comin’ back.” She said softly looking at her floor.

He laughed outright. “To quote you, ‘You’re daft.’ Thinking I wouldn’t be comin’ back. I told you lots a times that I weren’t that easy to get rid of.”

She laughed. “I guess that was silly of me.” Her head tilted up to look at him and she took in all of his beautiful features. Noticed he had gotten more tattoos too. “So where’ve ya been?”

He laughed and pulled her to him in a hug. “No need to worry about that darlin’ I was just on tour.”

She couldn’t believe she’d reacted the way she had. Of course, tour! That made sense!

“I didn’t tell ya because it was pretty short notice and I found out right after we had that fight. I was dead set on not comin’ around for a while.” He paused and looked down at her smirking. “Obviously my plan of staying away to show you how much ya’d miss me worked.”

She playfully glared back. “Just kiss me ya sod.”

Laughter came from him again. “Of course.”

He obliged pulling her even closer moving his hands to cup her face gently as his mouth moved with hers in a passionate kiss. This was the first kiss they’d ever shared quite like this one, simply for the feeling behind it.

She pulled back to say what she knew now was true. “I love you Oli.”

He just ran his thumbs gently over her cheeks with a faux cocky smile. “I know.” Before pulling her lips back to his.