Two steps forward, one step back.

Later that night, after texting Reed to say everyone had gone, I sat on the couch mulling over the thoughts in my mind. I was worried for the inevitable conversation that was about to happen with Reed, I didn't know how it was going to end, or how it was going to start for that matter. At that moment I didn't even know what I wanted to happen, It made me sick to think that he would lust after Becca but then he is a male with hormones. Still. Anyone would be paranoid... I think.

Hearing the door close softly I began to entwine and untwine my fingers nervously. Not having the guts to look up as he approached I focused intently on the movement of my hands and waited for him to speak.

"So why is it that you ended up sticking up for Gregor instead of me? Tell me straight. Do you have a thing for him?" His sentence ended weakly, almost as if he was as nervous as I felt. Shooting my eyes to his face I couldn't help but narrow my eyes.

"How dare you turn this on me. I haven't done a single thing wrong but have a good time with one of my friends. And for your information no I don' t have a thing for Gregor, he's just a good mate. He just happened to understand that when someones boyfriend is being a bastard they want a bit of cheering up." Stilling my fingers I got to my feet and began to walk from the room, my anger already getting the best of me.

"I'm sorry."

The desperation in his quiet voice made me stop, my back still turned towards him, to listen to whatever was coming after those two words.

"I'm sorry I'm such a dick. But half the time I feel as If I don't deserve you. I mean look at you. You're beautiful, wonderful, everyone loves you. I mean, you had Ollie and Finn both after you when we first met and even then I thought you were a brilliant person. I don't know what I'd do without you which is why I get jealous when you have such a good time with other guys, I just think that they could be so much better for you."

"And that excuses everything does it? You love me so much that it's okay to be a dickhead? No Reed, you have to understand, I have friends, most of them are boys. Is that my fault? No. It's just the way things are." Spinning around suddenly I stared dead into his eyes, my chest aching with the worry of his next answer. "And if you love me so much, how could you stare at another girl with obvious want in your eyes? Becca. What does she have that I don't?"

Stunned into silence Reed just stared at me with this gob-smacked expression on his face.
"You think... you think that I..." He spluttered before pulling himself together. "Becca is a slag that has nothing on you. When she walked from the room earlier I wasn't checking her out, I noticed a piece of paper in her back pocket with Chrissy's brother's name on it and a number underneath. I don't know if it means anything though so I didn't want to say anything"

Words can't describe the relief that flooded through me when he explained, but still a part of my mind nagged at me to ignore him, but of course we all have our doubts when it comes to relationships, I guess mine were just stronger because of his past with her.

Sighing I nodded and walked from the room and into the back garden. The fresh air instantly eased my mind and my thoughts washed away from me with the breeze. Closing my eyes I let the wind wrap itself around me in a cool embrace, my hair lifted with the breeze and a state of calm settled within me. The calm was heightened when a pair of warm arms wrapped around my mid-section. Leaning back into my boyfriend placed my hands over his and settled into the peace for a while, everything that hadn't been said was being said with the gesture. I forgave him of course. Eventually he placed a soft and lingering kiss on my neck before heading back inside, leaving me to myself.

It was amazing that he knew what I wanted and when I wanted it. Even after we had argued and even when the air was thick between us he gave me what I wanted. I felt spoiled. I felt loved. Reed was wrong when he said that I deserved better, I could get no better. Sure he was a playboy of sorts when he wasn't with me but it's something that you learn to overlook. I just wish that he would overlook the fact that I have many male friends, it's just something that can't be helped. He was the person I loved and nothing would change that.

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Waking up with my head against Reed's chest felt right. Pulling myself from his grasp was almost impossible.

"Loose boy!" I giggled before pecking his nose with a kiss.

"Maybe later."

"Oi! Let me go. I have to call Harry!" I smiled, an adoring tone smothering my voice.

"Fine. Call him. But you have to lie-in with me tomorrow." He smiled before loosening his arms.

Immediately I jumped up and ran from the room and to a phone. The night before whilst in the garden a startling conclusion had just swarmed its way into my head. I wanted to meet the man who was my father, and to do so, I have to ring that twit I call my brother. Oh but what a twit he is.

Picking up the phone it rang twice before I launched into an explanation of my recent revelation. A chuckle down the phone alerted me that my brother was amused by my hyperactivness.

"Look. You're bringing him to subway for lunch today. You know that classy place down the road." I joked while picturing the sandwich place in town.

"Oh yeah, real classy. Are you sure you don't want me to make reservations for some place?"
Harry offered kindly which of course made me roll my eyes.

"I want to know the real him and I'm sure he wants to know the real me. The real Sapphire does not sit in classy restaurants talking about how 'splendid' the wine is and how exquisite the food tastes. The real Sapphire goes to subway, buys a twelve inch sub and shoves as much of it in her mouth as possible. I'm not here to pretend."

His tone almost took on a tone of approval. "He's going to love you Fire, I just know it. He already does and he doesn't even know you yet. I'll see you at one." With that he hung up the phone.

How rude.

He didn't say bye.

Who does that!

Huffing I stared at the phone before sending a bitchy message to my brother, irritation winning over the rational side of me in the end.

You know that irritating moment when a family member doesn't say goodbye on the phone. Yeah that just happened. If it happens again you'll be walking around as Harriet instead of Harry. I mean it. Don't say goodbye then you loose your balls. Got it? Good. Bye.

Smiling in satisfaction I ventured into the kitchen and began to clean. There was nothing to clean, I just had nothing better to do. I was nervous about meeting my dad. In my head I had created this picture of a man who was handsom, his smile lighting the room and a loud welcoming laugh. He'd tell funny jokes and mess up his kids hair while they had mock arguments. He'd have such a loving hug that you couldn't help but melt into and he would be there for you when you needed him most.

It was a strong picture, one that fit the stereotypes of fathers worldwide, but the problem is, I know first hand that that's not how things always are. It made me jittery to think that my dad wouldn't fit the picture I had created. So far I was able to trust people, but just one bad move from this man could change everything for me. I needed security and so far I had that, I just hoped it wouldn't change. At that moment I came to a conclusion.

I needed Reed to come with me.

Feeling awful for even thinking of pulling him away from his plans I tried to re-consider even thinking of it, but I knew that I wouldn't end up going if I couldn't take him with me. I knew that Harry was going to be there but he wasn't enough. I didn't know him as well as I did my friends and wasn't entirely comfortable about relying on him for my safety.

Frowning at my own selfishness I shuffled into the bedroom to find Reed propped up against the headboard, a thoughtful look on his face. Seeing me twitching with nerves he patted the bed and pulled me into a cuddle.

"What are your plans for today?" He asked, obviously knowing this was what was worrying me.

"I'm... I'm going to meet my... my dad." I whispered, tears springing to my eyes at the reality of it all.

"Hey, hey hey! What's with the tears. I thought you'd be happy about this." He asked with obvious concern.

"I am, I truly am, it's just, I'm scared. What if he isn't what I think he's like. What if he's just like them. Mom said he was nice in her letter but she's been wrong before. What if she's wrong now?"

"Look sweetheart, I know you're worried but you don't need to be. You don't think I'd let you meet this guy without me having checked him out before? When I first met Harry I went back and met your dad also. He's an alright bloke. But if you need me to come with you I will." Nodding my head I shakily wiped away the tears, burrowing my head into his neck relieved that he agreed to come with me even if I never directly asked him to.

For the next hour we just lay together in bed, chatting aimlessly about anything and everything. It reminded me of when I first became friends with Reed and how we could spend a whole day together doing absolutely fuck all but still have an amazing time. Then it was all one sided the feelings of course, but he eventually liked me and that's all that matters.

When it was time to go I was dressed in some unimpressive clothes which Hope had given me before everything had happened between us. It was normal Grey skinny jeans, a black t-shirt covered by a black over sized hoody. Slipping converse onto my feet i stared at the door which I swear stared back at me with such an intensity it made my stomach roll. The feeling quickly eased off when Reed threw a comforting smile in my direction, holding out his hand to pull me from the house. Taking a deep breath I pulled myself into the deep end. Just as long as I remembered to breathe then this day would run smoothly.

And that's when we left, my heart beating furiously and my palms sweaty and my safety souly in Reed's trust.