If Zacky Was a Drug, Would You Be Above the Influence?

“Guys, look!” Brian exclaimed, snagging our attention from our burgers at lunch. “There's Ms. Robinson.”

The guys' heads all swiveled at top speed in the direction that Brian was indicating while Matt's eyes strained to try to see the teacher in his peripheral.

“Go ahead and look, Matt.” Val said picking the tomatoes off of her burger. “I'd bang her too if I had the chance.”

The guys then started their perverted criticism of the young teacher in the pin skirt. I couldn't blame them myself, she was extremely attractive. She wore the right things for her slim figured body on a tall frame like herself. I looked up at Ms. Robinson, and for some reason, her blonde hair that was tied back in a loose bun reminded me that it was almost the same exact shade as Bethany's. My stomach rolled.

“She is just so hot.” Zacky said, turning back to his burger as Ms. Robinson disappeared from view.

“For a blonde.” Brian agreed, nodding at Zacky and took a giant bite out of his burger.

Matt shrugged. “I'm actually not that much into blondes.”

Zacky snorted. “You're just saying that because Val's within punching distance.”

Matt shook his head, preparing to justify himself. “No, really guys. Blonde girls have weird colored nipples.”

The guys grew silent and exploded in laughter.

“I would still plant my seed in her garden.” Jimmy said.

“I think we all would, Jimmy.” Val told him.

“No, I would water her garden. I'd raise that cabbage patch kid as if Huntington was a tropical rain forest.”

“Too bad Johnny got to miss this.” Val interrupted.

“Where is the twerp anyway? The line can't be that damn long.” Brian said.

We began to look around until Jimmy spotted him. “There's a female with him!”

“Oh, that must not be him.” Zacky dismissed.

“But...he has a mo hawk.” Brian pointed out.

“A green mo hawk.” Matt explained further. They looked at each other.

“Must be a new style because that's not Johnny.” Zacky said.

It was in fact Johnny, and it was even more unbelievable to his friends because the girl was a solid eight on their modified one to ten scale. Johnny smiled at us, and we managed to pick our jaws from the ground. He took his seat beside Brian and the pretty girl sat snuggly between him and Matt.

“Hey guys, this is Miranda.” Johnny introduced her.

“We know,” Brian said as his greeting.

“So is this your date to homecoming?” Matt asked with raised eyebrows.

“That I am.” Miranda said nodding. “I wanted to come see you guys. We never really got to talk lately.”

Brian snorted. “Since elementary when you decided to be the cheerleader.”

“Then high school when you decided to be head cheerleader.” Zacky agreed.

“How's that leadership position working for you, Miranda?” Val said and rested her head on her hands, leaning in towards Miranda.

“How did you come around to going with Johnny, if you don't mind me asking?” Jimmy asked.

Brian shoved Jimmy. “Actually, I don't care if you mind, and I am really curious of your answer as well.”

“I've always thought that Johnny was adorable.” Miranda looked at each face of the table of blunt hostility that matched our own. Until she came to Johnny's and gave him a warm smile. “He was also the first guy to ask me, and I just thought, why not? He was also totally sweet when he asked me. Though I must say, the blushing clashed with his hair.” She then ruffled the unspiked green hair and Johnny gave all the guys a shit eating grin.

“Well, I should go now,” Miranda said getting up and found her group of fellow cheerleaders. “Bye now.” She gave Johnny a hug and went on her way.

“You better wipe that grin off of your face, Johnny.” Brian said threateningly.

“Before I smear it off.” Zacky agreed.

“You think you're hot stuff, remember, you blushed when you asked her.” Matt agreed.

“Guys, don't gang up on him just because you're jealous.” Val said defending him.

“You're his friends. You should be cheering for him.” I agreed.

“He'll like that too much.” Jimmy told me.

“Now that we know this fun fact about Johnny.” Matt said.

“So maybe we shouldn't cheer, he'd want us to have pom poms now.” Brian agreed.

Jimmy randomly screamed, which made us all jump. “I just can not believe this! He's the one that didn't even want to go to that damn dance! And now he's the first one of us that got a date!”

Brian then leaned in. “And I honestly had my money on Jullita having the first date.”

“Exactly! It makes sense.” Jimmy said. “I need to get a date now. Right now.” Jimmy then got up and walked over to Miranda's group and they all stared at him. He walked up to the only attractive red head at the school and began talking to her. She just looked up at him and smiled. Then just like that Jimmy was on his way back to the table.

Brian and Zacky were jumping excitedly all over each other waiting for his answer. “What did she say?!”

“She said no. But she smiled at me.” Jimmy said, and walked over to another group of girls.

Work was slow as it usually was at a bookstore. And quiet. Real quiet. Val just was so amazed that Johnny was going with Miranda, the head cheerleader, and that Jimmy found an equally attractive girl, who had won Ms. Huntington High last year.

Val and I sat in the back room going through the latest shipment of books and sorted them out by genre then alphabetized them so Bethany could put them on the shelves.

“I think Zacky's going to ask you.” Val said randomly and made me drop my stack.

“What the heck? That has nothing to do with Johnny Depp finding a time machine while we coincidentally waited on Elm Street.” I told her and Val rolled her eyes at me.

“No, really. He does have it bad for you. So do you. Blind people see it.”

“Is is that obvious?” I asked meekly.

“As obvious as Ms. Robinson's panty-lines.”

“Damn, that bad?”

Val just laughed. “We should take these out to Bethany now.” We loaded a cart for Bethany and we began outside.

“Do you want to come with me dress shoping?” I asked Val.

Val bit her lip. “Actually that's mine and Matt's thing. Mostly just Matt's.”

“Really? Why?”

“He wants us to match.”

I stopped. “He's..like that?”

“Oh, hun. I forget that you don't know. For example, he know that this is indigo,” Val pointed to her purple shirt. “And this this is blue-violet.” She then poked on the oposite side.

“But..isn't that the same color?” I asked.

“I thought so too.”

I laughed. “I feel bad for you.”

Then, I heard Zacky's voice. It wasn't such a rare thing that the guys came to the mall, of course. Normally it was only Jimmy that came into the bookstore to buy his comics, though.

“I told you so!” Val said. I started to smile until saw him turn down the aisle that Val and I were about to go down. We turned down the same aisle just in time to see Bethany jump onto Zacky, smiling, with her arms winding around his neck.

“Of course I'll go with you!” Bethany exclaimed.

Val pulled me back out of the aisle. “I'm- I'm so sorry dude.”

“Its alright.” I told Val, without really feeling my lips move, or recognize my words to be my own.

“I feel bad for you, dude.” Val said.

How great for me.

I wasn't wanting to hang out after work, especially where Zacky was included, but it was Friday night so we had to do our Friday night thing. Val and I were picked up by Matt in his Tahoe with all the guys ready for our tradition.

We drove out to Sonic, America's favorite drive-in. We placed our orders and waited. This never went boring with the guys, and I found myself actually smiling and laughing at my friend's crazy antics as we waited on our food.

“That is such a nice damn car.” Brian pointed out at the brand new Camaro that was parked two places down, but there wasn't anyone else parked between our vehicles.

“Pure American right there.” Matt told us.

“Let us bask in its American-ness.” Jimmy said.

Right then, the blacked out windows of the Camaro rolled down.

“Oh my god!” Matt shouted.

“Its Ms. Robinson!” Zacky shouted too.

“Oh, my god. She is so fucking hot.” Jimmy said.

“Shh! Jimmy, you're being loud.” Val said.

“She has kids, man. They might hear you.” Johnny agreed.

“I'm sorry, but I'm going to fuck your mommy!” Jimmy screamed.

Matt then put the Tahoe into reverse, but thankfully a huge SUV pulled in between us and we all sighed in relief.

Matt looked in the rear view mirror. “Do you think she saw us?”

“Because we all know she heard you.” Zacky said.

I love these guys.