I Fear I Might Break

We sat at the merch table in all our sweaty glory. Adrenaline pumped through our veins, never letting the smiles off our faces.

"You guys are amazing," a girl said, holding one of our cds.

"We're amazing? No, I think it is you that is amazing. Better yet, poptarts are amazing," Damien replied.

I should be used to his stupid comments, especially after doing this for the past forty minutes.

A smile grew on the girl's face.

At least it makes fans happy though.

"Could you guys sign this?" she held out the cd.

"Of course," I said.

The cd was handed around; then returned to its owner covered in our signatures.

"Awesome. Thanks," she walked away.

"My hand is cramping," I mumbled.

"Eh, Paramore will perform any minute now so your hand will get a nice long break," Octave said, shifting through a stack of tee-shirts.

"While you stare at your enemy turned lover," Edward added.

I glared; he smirked.

Drums kicked up, spreading their beat through the arena. The distinct sound of Crushcrushcrush came from the guitars and bass. Hayley ran on to the stage, belting out the lyrics. Screams filled the arena. My eyes glued themselves on her. She walked around the stage with grace that I'm sure I lacked. Her voice came out flawless through all her movements.

"What are you looking at?" asked Octave, yelling over the music.

"Nothing... Something... Everything...," I replied, also yelling.

He stared at me for a second before looking back at the stage. The song came to an end, the crowd screaming again. A smile formed on Hayley's lips.

"What's up, Jersey?" she asked into her mic.

Screams.

"Yeah that's what I thought. Well, guys, I have some important news. You want to know what it is?"

What is she doing?

The crowed yelled "what?" in reply.

"Well... it's kind of hard to say..."

She paced the stage.

"I like someone," she said; then laughed. "That sounds so middle school. Well anyway, I like someone a lot. I can't be with that person though because that person doesn't want my fans to hate me."

The crowd let out an "aw." A few screamed "We love you."

"Yeah I know it's sweet. I just... want that person to know I care about them and I'll wait till the ends of the earth for them. Maybe we can try us out soon."

The crowd cheered.

"She's talking about you, you know," Octave whispered.

"I know."

"You guys should totally check out the "beginning of tour" interview we have tomorrow. Channel and time info are on our myspace and livejournal. Now then, let's kick up the music, shall we?" Hayley yelled.

More screams. The music started up again. My eyes continued watching Hayley as she jumped around the stage.

She just admitted to liking me to her fans in a roundabout way. That's cute... I feel kind of special... The way she looks at me alone makes me feel special. Not really used to that I guess. I'm used to being put down, being told I'm not good enough. She actually listens to me. She cares. She's different.

Nurse stood in front of our table, blocking my view.

"We need to go back stage to talk about tomorrow's interview," she yelled.

We nodded and bid Hannah and Katie—our merch girls on duty for the day—good bye. Our sweaty bodies pushed through the crowd of equally sweaty bodies. The security guard moved from in front of the door as we approached, allowing us entrance to the back stage area. We nodded our thanks to the security guard as we passed him. The music immediately muffled when the door shut behind us.

Our footsteps echoed through the hall, bouncing from wall to wall. Within seconds, we were in front of our dressing room. Nurse fished the key to the door from her purse, unlocked it, and pushed it open. I followed everyone into the room, savoring the faint sound of Hayley's voice. My body slouched onto the couch at one end of the room. The door was shut and the music was now completely killed. I pouted.

"Okay, tomorrow's interview should be pretty easy. Just some questions about what you did the first day, how the other bands are, what the tour bus is like, and anything else pertaining to it," Nurse stated.

We nodded.

"However, in the event that they ask a personal question that could jeopardize your safety and security—"

Edward cut her off, "Lie."

"No, you give some form of indistinct answer that neither confirms nor denies the accusation," Mina said.

"In other words: lie," Edward said.

Mina sighed. "We go through this every interview. I think we get it by now. Plus, no one ever asks those types of questions."

"I just want you to be prepared," Nurse answered.

"Can't we just tell people the truth about everything? We're human. We make mistakes. People will understand."

"You could if you can handle your name being all over the tabloids."

Damien yawned, stretching his arms over his head. "This is boring. I'm watching tv."

He grabbed the remote from the table and clicked the on button. The television came to life, its screen filled with footage of the concert coming to an end outside.

"Oh.... that's what that tv is for...." Octave mumbled.

"I don't want to watch this," Damien began clicking random buttons. "It doesn't change channels?! What is wrong with you, you stupid tv? Did you not pass through television college?"

He stared intently at the television.

"Oh is that so? Well your mom was a cactus," he yelled, throwing the remote on the floor.

"Damien, are you okay?" asked Octave, slowly inching away from him.

"I just want to watch Flapjack," Damien wailed in response.

He threw his body onto Octave, clinging onto his shirt.

"Do we have a straight jacket for him?" asked Edward.

Damien glared at Edward.

"That's it for tonight, Jersey," Hayley's voice came from the television, pulling my attention. "Thanks for being an awesome audience." She turned to walk away from the microphone, but turned back around quickly. "Oh, by the way, Sin, you can look at your cast now."

"What is she talking about?" asked Octave, Damien still attached to him.

"She just wrote on my cast earlier," I replied.

"Did she leave you a sexy note or something?" Mina teased.

"I haven't even read it yet."

"Read it," Damien demanded.

"Do it or he may go postal," Edward said.

I looked down at my cast.

'I need you in my life.
Love is waiting if you just open your eyes.
You are exactly what I've been looking for.
Please give me a chance.
Love can mend your wounded heart.
Me; that’s all you'll ever need.
~Hayley'

"Aw that's kind of cute," Mina said from over my shoulder.

"I like how the red words make there own sentence," Damien said over my other shoulder.

"That's only because you can't be that creative," Edward said from next to Damien.

"So what are you going to do?" asked Octave.

"I don't know," I mumbled.

"You have time to think about it on the bus. Come on guys," Nurse instructed.

We followed her to the buses in silence. Our bus was the first in the row, making our search easy. The rest of the band entered before me. I stopped in front of the stairs and looked around. My eyes caught sight of fiery red hair making its way across the parking lot. She turned her head to the side, noticing me. Her hand waved wildly. I returned it with a small wave. Hayley smiled and walked onto her bus. My feet made there way up the bus stairs, past our living room, and straight to my bunk. I laid in it and sighed.

What the hell am I going to do?