I Fear I Might Break

My legs followed him back into the ball room and to our table, which Edward, Mina, Damien, and Jennifer occupied. Damien jumped from his seat.

"Sin is back!" Damien exclaimed, jumping around.

"Did you have a caffeine pill?" I asked.

"No."

Octave and I sat in the chairs provided. Damien’s body landed in my lap, his arms wrapped around my neck.

"I missed you. I was worried," he said, nuzzling my neck.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Hayley needs a lover, so you can’t go anywhere."

My jaw hit the floor. An innocent smile planted itself on Damien’s face.

"I’m going to ignore that comment," I said.

"You’ll never be able to ignore it."

"Excuse me. Can I have everyone’s attention?" asked a voice coming from the speakers.

A hush fell over the crowd as everyone faced the speaker, also known as Pete Wentz.

"We need all of the front men to report to the stage."

"That’s your cue," said Damien, removing his body from my lap.

My body removed itself from the chair and legs brought it to the stage steps, which they carried the body up. I took my spot next to Brendon Urie, Ryan Ross, and Hayley Williams.

Since when are there two front men for one band?

Pete Wentz stood in front of us. "Okay, what we’re going to do is sign the tour constitution then we’re going to play a trick on you guys. Any questions?"

Tour constitution?

My arm raised itself and Pete nodded in acknowledgement. "What’s a tour constitution?"

"Just a written agreement between all the bands on tour. We don’t want any major injuries because one person wants revenge on another," he replied.

"Does it prohibit injuring of the self?" I asked.

"... I don’t think that’s in there..."

"Yes it is," answered Hayley, staring at the opposing wall.

"There’s your answer," said Pete.

How would she know?

"And you expect me to sign this because..." I trailed off.

Brendon, Ryan, and Hayley looked over, confusion clearly written on their faces.

"Why wouldn’t you sign it?" asked Pete.

"Obviously, Nurse didn’t tell you much about us, which is a good thing. We won’t be able to follow the constitution. We’re a bunch of violent children."

Pete turned and walked back to the microphone. "Nurse Jennifer, we need you in the ER. I repeat, Nurse Jennifer, we need you in the ER."

Moments later, Jennifer stormed up the stairs. "What did she do now?"

"What did I do? He’s the one who wants me to sign a paper that says we, as a band, won’t hurt others, meaning other people, or ourselves. Now how am I supposed to sign that? We broke that rule hours ago," I replied, raising my hurt arm.

Realization hit Jennifer. "Oh."

"Exactly how did you break your arm," asked Pete.

"I fell off my skateboard and landed on a cement block while waiting for someone to open the bus," came the automatic response.

I don’t even own a skateboard.

He nodded.

He actually believes that?

"Just sign it. If we break it, we break it. There’s not much we can do," said Nurse.

"Okay," I muttered.

"You know the purpose of the constitution is to not break it, don’t you?" Pete placed a hand on Jennifer’s shoulder.

She promptly brushed his hand off. "Well, when you have to deal with them," she pointed to the rest of the band, "you learn that you can’t expect them to follow those kinds of rules."

"Then what’s the point of the constitution if they’re not going to follow it?" asked Pete.

"To promote band friendship," answered Hayley, her voice dull.

"Don’t you read what you write?" asked Ryan.

"That’s what I have you for, Ryro-bear," answered Pete.

"Can we just sign this?" asked Brendon, bouncing from foot to foot.

"Okay, okay," said Pete.

Jennifer left the stage while Pete returned to the microphone. "Now we will have these lovely people sign the tour constitution. A copy will be posted in each tour bus so that you know what we expect. Front men, if you would, sign the packet please."

Brendon snatched the pen up off the mini podium, sticking his tongue out. The large loopy letters of his signature were placed sloppily onto the paper, followed by Ryan’s. The pen was held with an outstretched hand, waiting for either Hayley or me to take it. My eyes met her’s.

"You gonna take it?" she asked, nonchalant.

"No. We’re saving the best for last," I replied.

"Then shouldn’t you have signed first?"

That wasn’t a bad come back.

"Ladies, can we not fight and just sign this thing?" asked Brendon, slinging his arms around both our shoulders.

"No," we answered.

"See, you’re connected mentally like twins. Why don’t you kiss and make up, then we can forget this mess."

"Surprisingly, that’s not the first time I’ve heard that today," I said.

"Let me guess, Damien came up with it," she said.

"Yeah, how’d you know?"

Psychic?

"He said the same thing to me."

Damn him.

"So are you two going to make up?" asked Brendon, hope filling his voice.

"Absolutely not," I replied, taking the pen from Ryan’s waiting hand and signed the packet.

Hayley stole the pen from my hand and signed the paper. "I guess the best did sign last," she smirked.

Our bodies fell into line behind Peter.

"Took them long enough, right folks?" Peter asked the crowd of people. "There’s one more thing we need with the four of you before we end this party. Bring out the slime!"

"The what?!" Hayley exclaimed.

Four people emerged from behind the curtain carrying large buckets of green gunk.

"We’ve debated and we’ve decided that you need a slime bath," Pete Wentz gave his famous smile.

"You have got to be kidding," I said.

"Wentz, are you aware of how long it takes to get that out of hair?" asked Ryan, glaring at Peter.

If only looks could kill.

"Quit being a woman, Ryan," taunted Peter.

"So you wouldn’t get mad if I decided to give you one big hug after? Because I’ll do it and I’ll mess up your precious sweater," he threatened.

"This stuff is so cool!" yelled Brendon.

All eyes focused on him. He continued to poke the substance, ignoring our gazes.

"Brendon, you do realize that’s going on your head, right?" asked Ryan.

"Really?" Brendon asked with an awe filled voice.

"Yeah."

"Awesome." Brendon pumped a fist in the air.

"Release the slime," said Pete, a smirk firmly planted on his face.

Ryan let out a yelp as the slime was dumped on him. Hayley and I made no noise while Brendon yelled in excitement.

Damn that’s cold.

People in the crowd let out cheers.

"Alright, everyone, parties over. You can hang around here or do whatever. Have fun. Be ready by 9:00 tomorrow morning. That’s when we’re leaving," Pete said into the microphone.

"Oh, Pete, come here and give Ryro a hug," yelled Ryan.

"I’ll give Ryro a hug," offered Damien.

My eyes wandered over to Hayley’s slime clad, shivering frame.

I’d like to see her slime covered in my bed. Without the clothes. She won’t be shivering because of the cold. Wonder what whipped cream would be like added to this mess... Yum...

Eyes widened and face flushed.

I did not just think that.

"Are... you okay?" Hayley stared at me.

"I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong. I was not thinking horrible thoughts. Of course not. Why would I do that? There’s no reason for me to be thinking like that. I mean, there’s no girl here to make me think like that. Why would a girl make feel like that? Stop pressuring me! Guys let’s go," I rushed off the stage.

As if that wasn’t obvious enough. Just stamp an "L" on my forehead and call me "loser".