You're Everything I Need

It had been 2 months, and finally I watched as Ryan’s mom exited the hospital. I had been waiting for some time—anytime—that I could sneak in and see Ryan. I just had to see him.

I stepped into the hospital. I already knew what room Ryan was in. I had Spencer go and visit him. Ryan’s mom liked Spencer. I smiled at the receptionist as I walked by her desk. She returned it before turning back to her work. Or whatever it was that she was doing. I walked down the hall and got on the elevator, pressing the button for the second floor.

I waited patiently, just as I had been since Ryan came here. It was all I could do. Stressing over this just wasn’t something that would be beneficial to anyone. Especially me. When the elevator came to the second floor, the doors slid open smoothly and I stepped out into the hallway. I turned right and checked the numbers on the door, until I found Ryan’s.

This was it. The first time I would see Ryan in 2 months. It felt like forever.

I took a deep breath before opening the door slowly. And there he was. Eyes closed, looking as if he was only asleep. I took slow steps towards his bed until I was standing right next to him, looking down at his beautiful face. The bruises had faded. His nose had been fixed. I grasped the hand that was closest to me. It was the same arm that I had cut that night. I looked down, seeing a noticeable pink scar on his arm. I traced it with my finger.

And I realized that this was my punishment for treating Ryan how I did. Even if we did enjoy all of it, I shouldn’t have taken it so far. If I hadn’t have done this to him, neither of us would be in this situation. We would be happy.

I sighed, dropping Ryan’s hand as my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out, looking at the caller I.D. It was Spencer. He was my look out, waiting for me outside in his car. I answered it quickly.

“Yeah,” I said.

“She’s coming back,” he said and hung up. I hung up my phone before shoving it back in my pocket. I sighed again before leaning down and placing my lips lightly on Ryan’s.

“I love you,” I whispered. I kissed him one more time before hurrying out of the room. I took the stairs down this time, so that Ryan’s mom wouldn’t catch me.

I made it to the parking lot slightly and headed to Spencer’s car. I didn’t realize it until I saw Spencer’s face that I was crying. I just turned away, staring at the hospital as Spencer started up his car. And as we drove away, I couldn’t help but think of how much I hated seeing Ryan like that. I hated myself even more after seeing him. And I had to live with the fact that I had put him there.