You're Everything I Need

Another month went by before we realized that Mrs. Ross was not staying in Ryan’s room with him. Sure, she still visited. But she didn’t do it as much as she did at first though.

Spencer and I had been driving towards the hospital when we saw her driving in the opposite direction, looking tired and on her way home. Luckily, she didn’t see us.

Even though we were sure she wasn’t coming back, I had Spencer wait in the car. I told him that I wouldn’t be long. It was the same thing as last time. I got in easy, and went straight to Ryan’s room. He looked the same as last time. His hair looked a bit longer, and I pushed it out of his face smiling at the thought of Ryan getting a haircut.

I took Ryan’s hand in my own, giving it a light squeeze, hoping that somehow he knew that I was here. I placed my hand on the side of his face, enjoying the feel of his soft skin against my own skin. I let out a soft sigh.

“I love you Ryan” I said. My voice sounded odd to me without any other sound except for the steady beeps coming from the heart monitor. Still holding his hand, I leaned down and placed my lips over his like I did the last time. I was hoping for a response as my lips rested on his, but I got nothing. I was only hoping though.

I pulled away slowly and kept my face close to his, hovering slightly. My eyes moved over his features, taking them in because I didn’t know when I’d see him again. I’m sure I’d be able to see him more often now, seeing as Mrs. Ross didn’t seem to be staying here as much. I leaned down quickly, kissing him one more time.

As I stood up, something caught my eye and I looked down at Ryan quickly.

I had thought I had seen something on his face twitch, but I must have been mistaken.

I went to pull my hand away from Ryan, but I found that Ryan’s hand was now gripping my own tightly. I looked at Ryan in shock, noticing his eyes moving behind his eyelids a bit. Was he waking up?

I leaned down, staring at Ryan’s face intently. Was he supposed to be like this?

I hit the button by his bed to call the nurse as I continued to watch him.

“Ryan?” I said after a second. At the sound of my voice, Ryan’s eyes snapped open and I saw his eyes search around the room frantically before his eyes met mine.

“Brendon,” Ryan croaked out and I noticed his eyes watering. He looked down at our entwined hands and instantly let go of mine as if it were diseased.

“Ryan, are you ok?” I asked, just as a nurse came in. She looked at Ryan, and noticing that he was awake came straight to the bed, pushing me aside.

“Just lay back, and try and relax,” she said calmly. “I’m going to go get the doctor.”

His eyes watched her before swiftly looking back at me. And I saw something there that I had never seen before—fear.

I took a step toward him and the fear in his eyes became more prominent. I stopped and watched him, and it hurt me to know that I was the one that he was scared of.

“Ryan?” I said quietly. I watched as his lower lip quiver slightly and a tear slid down his cheek. I wanted to stand near him, to hold him, to comfort him—but I knew that he didn’t want me near him. He was afraid of me. To him, I was a monster.