Would You Believe Me if I Said I Didn't Need You?
I Don't Need Your Sorry, Gaskarth!
Jack’s Point of View:
She sat there, on the freshly cleaned parquet of the upstairs living room, choking like an old man who’s been smoking for decades. Curled up on herself, hugging her knees to her chest and didn’t even take a glance at me when I walked into the two-story house.
My brain was defunct by now and wasn’t able to give orders to my organs, for I’m the reason to why she’s in this state.
She had lost weight, I can see, and I bet she hasn’t been eating much these days. I don’t even think that she had moved from the spot she’s in now.
My heart was telling me to move forward and to take her in my arms. To hold her tightly, the tightest I can, even if it’d hurt her; I want to show her how much I want her in my arms, how much I’m sorry.
What would she do if I actually added a kiss to all of that?
No, I can not think this way about her anymore. It’s enough what she’s done to my best friend.
She made him fall in love with her and I know that her plan from the beginning was to crush him and separate us; which is why I also fell in love with her.
I turned around to leave. People like her don’t deserve you to care about them.
I certainly won’t waste my time on her; I have a career to worry about while she’d always be the same girl crying on the floor for all the things she’s done and she’d regret.
I turned back to look at her. She was looking up now.
Her eyes were bloodshot and full of tears but mostly full of fury.
“What are you doing here?” She spat at me.
“Oh I don’t recall this being your house.” I said smirking.
“Well it is and no matter what you were here to do, you should leave.” She said in a bitter tone.
“Oh well, but I want you to know that I came to help you. I’d like to remind you that I’m Alex’s best friend and we do everything together. I have a special spot in his heart while you’re just a girl he was using.”
“Well I don’t need your help and I don’t care what Alex does anymore. Now leave, and don’t show your pretty face anywhere here, that is if you want it to stay pretty.”
“And what would a weak girl, a wreck, like you do? You were nothing but a sex toy to him.”
“I don’t care if he dies tomorrow so you think I’d care if he likes me or not?”
“And that’s why you’re crying right?” I chuckled. “You’re made out of trash, Malika, you’re worthless.”
Malika’s Point of View:
“You’re worthless, Malika.” Those words rang in my ear and I couldn’t hear anything after them.
Jack’s mouth was moving and I bet he was still talking about how bad I am or how I never meant anything to him and his friends, trying to bring me down.
What’s up with him? One day he confesses his love to me and the second day he’s all like ‘you’re worth nothing’ and ‘you deserve nothing’.
I haven’t slept in days, I haven’t eaten in weeks, I didn’t stop crying and convinced myself that the tears would stop on their own once my body has dried out.
I don’t know if all that was obvious on my body or not because I don’t trust my legs to take me to a mirror so I could check.
I was drained and the only part in my body that I was able to move was my head.
It didn’t hurt though; the pain in my heart was taking over in a way that I couldn’t sense anything else.
“Well, well if it isn’t whore-land.” I heard a voice that snapped me out of my trance, a different one.
A voice that I’d never forget; the voice that once was so gentle and now falling on my head like acid rain, Alex.
It took all the force in me but I stood up, and licked my dry lips but not in a playful way.
I noticed that Alex hadn’t looked at me in a proper way yet.
No, he wasn’t looking at me as if I was a trash can; it seemed as if he was debating with himself on something, as if he was feeling somewhat guilty.
Even Jack wasn’t pleased at this point; if you had ever known him you’d know that he wouldn’t like to hurt anyone or anything.
Even more if this person was his lifetime best friend.
He turned around to leave and just then, Alex stopped him.
“Don’t go. Don’t even take a second step.” He looked at me.
Both of them looked at me.
I was still standing but now an overwhelming energy filled my body.
“What do you want Alex?” I asked.
“I came to…” He pushed his hands in his jeans’ pockets and spent a second thinking about what he should say.
As he was fishing through his pockets for an excuse, he pulled his keys.
“I came to return the house keys to you.” He said while handing me three keys attached together.
We used to share a house back when we were dating. The house is mine because he’s always on tour and barely needs to stay here.
I took them and said nothing.
“Look,” He started. “I’m sorry.”
From the corner of my eyes I saw Jack’s jaw fall to the ground.
I was shocked too, much for my sake, but I didn’t show it.
“Are you going to say anything?” He asked, regret in his voice.
I don’t think it was him regretting what happened, more like regretting that he apologized.
I turned my head completely to Jack’s side. “What do you have to say mister ‘I come to yell at you and insult you’?” I asked him.
“Wait, why is Jack here anyways?” Alex asked.
“Ask him. He’s here, isn’t he?”
“Mal, please,” Jack pleaded “I’m sorry.”
He looked at me with pleading eyes, asking me not to ruin his career, mostly his friendship.
I said nothing. I had nothing to say anyway.
“Can someone tell me what’s going on?” Alex asked, his gaze moving from me to Jack then back to me. “Come on, Mal we both apologized. What else do you want us to do?”
“I don’t need your sorry, Gaskarth.”
“Then what do you need? Because frankly I can’t leave you in this state; when was the last time you ate?”
“Or even moved,” Jack added.
“I ate yesterday,” I lied.
“Oh yeah I can see, now, the truth please.”
“I don’t know; I lost count.”
“Great…”
“Look I don’t need you, both of you. So if you’d leave I’d be more than happy.”
“Mal,” Jack started but I cut him off.
“Now,” I looked at Jack “If you were the last man on earth I wouldn’t even think of you. I promise you that even if you were dying tomorrow, counting your last breaths, you won’t be hearing from me.”
“You’re just a selfish whore anyways, who thinks that she’s a big deal while she’s living a huge lie.” He said and started to walk away.
“I never said I was a nice little girl, Jack. And if someone implied that to you, then they’re definitely playing with your mind.”
He stepped even further and I felt involuntary tears slide down my cheeks.
“Kika,” I heard from far. Only one person calls me so.
I turned around and saw my five year old best friend running towards me. “Jack-a-roo”
He tackled me in a bear hug.
“Kika, I have a secret to tell you.”
“Sure do,” I said grinning.
“Ok so I was telling this to my mum this morning and she was so happy for me but remember you can’t tell anyone.”
“Of course I won’t.”
“I’m in love with you, bestie. One day we’ll get married.”
“Oh Jacky,” I exclaimed, throwing my arms around him. “I love you too.”
He flashed me a toothless grin.
By now I was back to sobbing and heavily.
He turned back. “Kika?” He hasn’t called me that for years.
I jumped up from my place and threw my arms around him, just like the old days.
I believe he had remembered the same thing as me.
“Shush, I’m here, don’t worry.” I heard him whisper in my ear. “My Kika is back.” He then said in a cheery voice.
“Could anyone tell me what’s happening here? You two just hated each other minutes before.”
Before I could say anything Jack said “Mal please, let me tell him”
I just nodded at him and went to sit on the couch behind us.
Alex’s Point of View:
“Alex, I think it’s better if you sit too.” Jack told me.
I shrugged and sat next to Malika.
I just want to hold her against me already and nothing more.
“Alright, enlighten me.” I said.
“Before I say anything, I want you to know that I love Malika and I have the right to because I’ve known her for more than ten years now.”
“Okay…” I said a bit unsure of where this was going.
“And I want a promise from both of you that no matter what I say you won’t be mad forever.”
“Sure, whatever,” We both mumbled.
“The night you guys fought, I kind of had to do with it…” Jack trailed.
I think he was trying to gather his words in sentences.
“I kind of prepared for you guys to fight and break up. I knew that you’d be mad if Malika’s old boyfriend called her and I knew that if that happened at night you’d call me and say that you want to go out.” He said. “So that night I arranged with Justin to call Malika and you had your small fight that was nothing important…”
“Whatever Malika, I’m leaving.”
“And where do you think you’re going?”
“Out with Jack and some guys…” I yelled.
“So you’d party and drink and probably end up fucking some random girls just because I got a call? It’s not like I called him or kissed him or anything.”
I looked at her and immediately felt stupid for doing this. “Look, I’m not blaming you but I need some time. I promise I will stay sober.” I said and kissed her forehead.
“I remember everything that night. Go ahead Jack.” I said.
“You promised to stay sober, except you didn’t. And you want to know how?”
We had arrived a couple of minutes ago and Jack didn’t take long to skip somewhere leaving me standing on my own.
I spotted a blond girl sitting by the bar, looking at me. ‘Might as well do something’ I thought to myself.
It’s not like I’m cheating, right? We’d only be talking.
“I’ve been looking at you for a while now and if I may say ‘wow’.” The girl said as soon as I got there.
“Same goes to you.” I said and sent her my charming smile. “Mind if I buy you a drink?”
“Not at all,” She replied.
I ordered her some tequila. “Aren’t you going to take anything?”
“No, I’m staying sober tonight.”
“Oh well at least have a soda or something.” And she ordered me a soda before I could say anything.
I drank it in one go.
“And then, cola after cola, you weren’t sober anymore, know why? I’ll tell you; your drinks were spiked by your best friend.”
“So you did all this on purpose?”
“Yeah I even knew the girl you were talking to. And then, you went to another room…”
“Are you sure you want to do this?” She purred in my ear.
“Positive. She gets to talk to Justin and I don’t get some action? No.” I rambled about things the poor girl probably didn’t understand, while taking my shirt off.
Few minutes later, we were both naked and kissing.
“After a while, Malika opened the door on you and saw you both kissing under a blanket. But what was she doing there? Call from the bartender telling her that she needs to pick you up because of how much you got wasted.”
“So as I was running, tears spilling down my cheeks, to my neck, I ran into Justin who told me that he saw you entering the room. I went in there and saw you.” Malika cut Jack to say.
“I didn’t give you time to explain. I ran out and met Justin who said that he’d make me feel better and kissed me. I just let him and then you came.”
I had sobered up now after Malika came in on us. I put on my clothes as fast as I can and ran after her only to see her in Justin’s arms.
I yanked him off of her and yelled at him. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Me? You’re the one who cheated on her.”
“Mal, baby please, let me explain. I was drunken baby.”
“Oh yeah, I know all this.” She spat at me. “That’s why I’ve been called. You’re in even bigger trouble; you promised me you wouldn’t drink.” She said as fresh tears ran down her stained cheeks.
“Babe I swear I wasn’t planning on it. I only had some cola.”
“Just, just leave me alone.” She said and pulled her arm away. “You said you needed time. Here, you got it.”
And with that she ran away…
“You planned all this?” I got up and pushed Jack to the floor.
“Alex, stop.” She said and put her hands on my shoulders “Please.”
“Why did you do all of that; do you know how much trouble you put us in!?” I yelled at Jack.
“I love her.” He said in a barely audible voice. “Please, you promised not to be mad. She forgives you, don’t you Mal?”
“Yeah I do, it’s not his fault. Do you forgive me?” She asked looking at me.
“Of course,” I said and took her in my arms.
“I love you.” I said and pecked her lips.
“I love you more.” She said as I laid her down on the couch we were just sitting at, still kissing.
I heard her stomach grumble. “Let’s get you a bite.”
She smiled at me the best she could. <3
She sat there, on the freshly cleaned parquet of the upstairs living room, choking like an old man who’s been smoking for decades. Curled up on herself, hugging her knees to her chest and didn’t even take a glance at me when I walked into the two-story house.
My brain was defunct by now and wasn’t able to give orders to my organs, for I’m the reason to why she’s in this state.
She had lost weight, I can see, and I bet she hasn’t been eating much these days. I don’t even think that she had moved from the spot she’s in now.
My heart was telling me to move forward and to take her in my arms. To hold her tightly, the tightest I can, even if it’d hurt her; I want to show her how much I want her in my arms, how much I’m sorry.
What would she do if I actually added a kiss to all of that?
No, I can not think this way about her anymore. It’s enough what she’s done to my best friend.
She made him fall in love with her and I know that her plan from the beginning was to crush him and separate us; which is why I also fell in love with her.
I turned around to leave. People like her don’t deserve you to care about them.
I certainly won’t waste my time on her; I have a career to worry about while she’d always be the same girl crying on the floor for all the things she’s done and she’d regret.
I turned back to look at her. She was looking up now.
Her eyes were bloodshot and full of tears but mostly full of fury.
“What are you doing here?” She spat at me.
“Oh I don’t recall this being your house.” I said smirking.
“Well it is and no matter what you were here to do, you should leave.” She said in a bitter tone.
“Oh well, but I want you to know that I came to help you. I’d like to remind you that I’m Alex’s best friend and we do everything together. I have a special spot in his heart while you’re just a girl he was using.”
“Well I don’t need your help and I don’t care what Alex does anymore. Now leave, and don’t show your pretty face anywhere here, that is if you want it to stay pretty.”
“And what would a weak girl, a wreck, like you do? You were nothing but a sex toy to him.”
“I don’t care if he dies tomorrow so you think I’d care if he likes me or not?”
“And that’s why you’re crying right?” I chuckled. “You’re made out of trash, Malika, you’re worthless.”
Malika’s Point of View:
“You’re worthless, Malika.” Those words rang in my ear and I couldn’t hear anything after them.
Jack’s mouth was moving and I bet he was still talking about how bad I am or how I never meant anything to him and his friends, trying to bring me down.
What’s up with him? One day he confesses his love to me and the second day he’s all like ‘you’re worth nothing’ and ‘you deserve nothing’.
I haven’t slept in days, I haven’t eaten in weeks, I didn’t stop crying and convinced myself that the tears would stop on their own once my body has dried out.
I don’t know if all that was obvious on my body or not because I don’t trust my legs to take me to a mirror so I could check.
I was drained and the only part in my body that I was able to move was my head.
It didn’t hurt though; the pain in my heart was taking over in a way that I couldn’t sense anything else.
“Well, well if it isn’t whore-land.” I heard a voice that snapped me out of my trance, a different one.
A voice that I’d never forget; the voice that once was so gentle and now falling on my head like acid rain, Alex.
It took all the force in me but I stood up, and licked my dry lips but not in a playful way.
I noticed that Alex hadn’t looked at me in a proper way yet.
No, he wasn’t looking at me as if I was a trash can; it seemed as if he was debating with himself on something, as if he was feeling somewhat guilty.
Even Jack wasn’t pleased at this point; if you had ever known him you’d know that he wouldn’t like to hurt anyone or anything.
Even more if this person was his lifetime best friend.
He turned around to leave and just then, Alex stopped him.
“Don’t go. Don’t even take a second step.” He looked at me.
Both of them looked at me.
I was still standing but now an overwhelming energy filled my body.
“What do you want Alex?” I asked.
“I came to…” He pushed his hands in his jeans’ pockets and spent a second thinking about what he should say.
As he was fishing through his pockets for an excuse, he pulled his keys.
“I came to return the house keys to you.” He said while handing me three keys attached together.
We used to share a house back when we were dating. The house is mine because he’s always on tour and barely needs to stay here.
I took them and said nothing.
“Look,” He started. “I’m sorry.”
From the corner of my eyes I saw Jack’s jaw fall to the ground.
I was shocked too, much for my sake, but I didn’t show it.
“Are you going to say anything?” He asked, regret in his voice.
I don’t think it was him regretting what happened, more like regretting that he apologized.
I turned my head completely to Jack’s side. “What do you have to say mister ‘I come to yell at you and insult you’?” I asked him.
“Wait, why is Jack here anyways?” Alex asked.
“Ask him. He’s here, isn’t he?”
“Mal, please,” Jack pleaded “I’m sorry.”
He looked at me with pleading eyes, asking me not to ruin his career, mostly his friendship.
I said nothing. I had nothing to say anyway.
“Can someone tell me what’s going on?” Alex asked, his gaze moving from me to Jack then back to me. “Come on, Mal we both apologized. What else do you want us to do?”
“I don’t need your sorry, Gaskarth.”
“Then what do you need? Because frankly I can’t leave you in this state; when was the last time you ate?”
“Or even moved,” Jack added.
“I ate yesterday,” I lied.
“Oh yeah I can see, now, the truth please.”
“I don’t know; I lost count.”
“Great…”
“Look I don’t need you, both of you. So if you’d leave I’d be more than happy.”
“Mal,” Jack started but I cut him off.
“Now,” I looked at Jack “If you were the last man on earth I wouldn’t even think of you. I promise you that even if you were dying tomorrow, counting your last breaths, you won’t be hearing from me.”
“You’re just a selfish whore anyways, who thinks that she’s a big deal while she’s living a huge lie.” He said and started to walk away.
“I never said I was a nice little girl, Jack. And if someone implied that to you, then they’re definitely playing with your mind.”
He stepped even further and I felt involuntary tears slide down my cheeks.
“Kika,” I heard from far. Only one person calls me so.
I turned around and saw my five year old best friend running towards me. “Jack-a-roo”
He tackled me in a bear hug.
“Kika, I have a secret to tell you.”
“Sure do,” I said grinning.
“Ok so I was telling this to my mum this morning and she was so happy for me but remember you can’t tell anyone.”
“Of course I won’t.”
“I’m in love with you, bestie. One day we’ll get married.”
“Oh Jacky,” I exclaimed, throwing my arms around him. “I love you too.”
He flashed me a toothless grin.
By now I was back to sobbing and heavily.
He turned back. “Kika?” He hasn’t called me that for years.
I jumped up from my place and threw my arms around him, just like the old days.
I believe he had remembered the same thing as me.
“Shush, I’m here, don’t worry.” I heard him whisper in my ear. “My Kika is back.” He then said in a cheery voice.
“Could anyone tell me what’s happening here? You two just hated each other minutes before.”
Before I could say anything Jack said “Mal please, let me tell him”
I just nodded at him and went to sit on the couch behind us.
Alex’s Point of View:
“Alex, I think it’s better if you sit too.” Jack told me.
I shrugged and sat next to Malika.
I just want to hold her against me already and nothing more.
“Alright, enlighten me.” I said.
“Before I say anything, I want you to know that I love Malika and I have the right to because I’ve known her for more than ten years now.”
“Okay…” I said a bit unsure of where this was going.
“And I want a promise from both of you that no matter what I say you won’t be mad forever.”
“Sure, whatever,” We both mumbled.
“The night you guys fought, I kind of had to do with it…” Jack trailed.
I think he was trying to gather his words in sentences.
“I kind of prepared for you guys to fight and break up. I knew that you’d be mad if Malika’s old boyfriend called her and I knew that if that happened at night you’d call me and say that you want to go out.” He said. “So that night I arranged with Justin to call Malika and you had your small fight that was nothing important…”
“Whatever Malika, I’m leaving.”
“And where do you think you’re going?”
“Out with Jack and some guys…” I yelled.
“So you’d party and drink and probably end up fucking some random girls just because I got a call? It’s not like I called him or kissed him or anything.”
I looked at her and immediately felt stupid for doing this. “Look, I’m not blaming you but I need some time. I promise I will stay sober.” I said and kissed her forehead.
“I remember everything that night. Go ahead Jack.” I said.
“You promised to stay sober, except you didn’t. And you want to know how?”
We had arrived a couple of minutes ago and Jack didn’t take long to skip somewhere leaving me standing on my own.
I spotted a blond girl sitting by the bar, looking at me. ‘Might as well do something’ I thought to myself.
It’s not like I’m cheating, right? We’d only be talking.
“I’ve been looking at you for a while now and if I may say ‘wow’.” The girl said as soon as I got there.
“Same goes to you.” I said and sent her my charming smile. “Mind if I buy you a drink?”
“Not at all,” She replied.
I ordered her some tequila. “Aren’t you going to take anything?”
“No, I’m staying sober tonight.”
“Oh well at least have a soda or something.” And she ordered me a soda before I could say anything.
I drank it in one go.
“And then, cola after cola, you weren’t sober anymore, know why? I’ll tell you; your drinks were spiked by your best friend.”
“So you did all this on purpose?”
“Yeah I even knew the girl you were talking to. And then, you went to another room…”
“Are you sure you want to do this?” She purred in my ear.
“Positive. She gets to talk to Justin and I don’t get some action? No.” I rambled about things the poor girl probably didn’t understand, while taking my shirt off.
Few minutes later, we were both naked and kissing.
“After a while, Malika opened the door on you and saw you both kissing under a blanket. But what was she doing there? Call from the bartender telling her that she needs to pick you up because of how much you got wasted.”
“So as I was running, tears spilling down my cheeks, to my neck, I ran into Justin who told me that he saw you entering the room. I went in there and saw you.” Malika cut Jack to say.
“I didn’t give you time to explain. I ran out and met Justin who said that he’d make me feel better and kissed me. I just let him and then you came.”
I had sobered up now after Malika came in on us. I put on my clothes as fast as I can and ran after her only to see her in Justin’s arms.
I yanked him off of her and yelled at him. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Me? You’re the one who cheated on her.”
“Mal, baby please, let me explain. I was drunken baby.”
“Oh yeah, I know all this.” She spat at me. “That’s why I’ve been called. You’re in even bigger trouble; you promised me you wouldn’t drink.” She said as fresh tears ran down her stained cheeks.
“Babe I swear I wasn’t planning on it. I only had some cola.”
“Just, just leave me alone.” She said and pulled her arm away. “You said you needed time. Here, you got it.”
And with that she ran away…
“You planned all this?” I got up and pushed Jack to the floor.
“Alex, stop.” She said and put her hands on my shoulders “Please.”
“Why did you do all of that; do you know how much trouble you put us in!?” I yelled at Jack.
“I love her.” He said in a barely audible voice. “Please, you promised not to be mad. She forgives you, don’t you Mal?”
“Yeah I do, it’s not his fault. Do you forgive me?” She asked looking at me.
“Of course,” I said and took her in my arms.
“I love you.” I said and pecked her lips.
“I love you more.” She said as I laid her down on the couch we were just sitting at, still kissing.
I heard her stomach grumble. “Let’s get you a bite.”
She smiled at me the best she could. <3
♠ ♠ ♠
Nyn again! <3I don't know what's up with me and that '<3' heart.
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