Now Give Me Your Whole Body and Soul

“People cannot gain anything without sacrificing something. You must present something of equal value in order to gain something. That is the principle of Equivalent Trade in Alchemy. We believed that was the truth of the world when we were young.”

“I won again, nii-san!”

“You always win! I’ll never beat you, Al.”

“You beat me at alchemy.”

“Well, I am an alchemic genius…”

“Exactly. That Roy person even reckons you could become a State Alchemist.”

“Yeah, I was thinking about that… I want to go to Central City, and train to be a State Alchemist.”

“Oh, nii-san, are you sure?”

“Of course! I’d get access to lots more knowledge, and maybe find a way to get your body back.”

“But Auntie said you’d also get called to service if there was a war…”

“If I must become a dog of the military, so be it. I will get your body back. So I shall become a State Alchemist.”

“Then I shall become one too! Then I can get your original arm and leg back.”

“Oh, Al, you don’t have to do that.”

“But I want to follow you, nii-san! I never want to be apart from you…”

“Never… leave… nii-san…”

“Al? Al! Come on, you’ve got to stop falling asleep on trains. It’s getting weird, are you even supposed to sleep?”

I looked out of the window of our compartment, staring at the scene. I was thinking about my dream, my memory. About brother. About everything. I truly never wanted to leave my brother. I loved him.

As a brother, of course.

“Humans need to sleep, don’t they?”

“Well, yeah…”

“Am I not human, nii-san?”

“What? Of course you’re human, Al! Just… slightly metallic. I mean, not all of my body is flesh and blood, I’m still human.”

“I suppose.”

“Al?”

“Yes, nii-san?”

“Do you hate me for making you like this?”

I looked up at my brother, who was staring at me with a concerned expression. I stared into his eyes, and he into mine, but his were filled with fear. He had such nice eyes, my brother. Bright, and shining with life and joy. How could I hate those eyes? His eyes were so beautiful, just like him.

No, I can’t think that. He’s my brother.

“No, nii-san. I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. You’re everything to me.”

I could have sworn that he blushed. But I was probably imagining it.

He sat down on the seat next to me, leaning against my chest plate. I draped my arms around his shoulders and rested my head on the top of his. I felt happiness swell inside my hollow chest. If I had a body, it would have been tingling.

I don’t know why. He’s my brother.

I ran my hand, absent-minded, through his hair, and he slowly began to close his eyes, and drift off to sleep. I played with his braid, gently untying it. I wish it was something else I was untying…

Wait, what? He’s my brother!

I couldn’t feel it, but I could tell his hair was soft. It was so smooth and shiny. I wondered how he kept it in such good condition, I was sure he never had a chance to wash or cut it. It wasn’t even split at the ends. I suppose he must have used alchemy. The softness of his hair was wonderful. I wonder what his lips would be like…

No! Why am I thinking these things? He’s my brother…

“No… stop… tickles…” Brother murmured in his sleep, and giggled slightly. It really was adorable.

I looked down in confusion. I realised that as I had been musing, my hand had moved down and I was now lightly stroking his collarbone. I wondered briefly who he was dreaming of, then with a pang of hurt realised it would never be me.

His head fell back so his face was looking up at me. Suddenly, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I leant down to kiss his lips. But just then the train whistle went off, bringing us to the station, and me sharply back to reality. I stopped short. This can’t happen.

I’m a man made of metal. He’s my brother.

And I love him.