Let Me Perfect It

Chloe's POV

The door of the bus slammed shut behind me as I fumbled inside. Tears clouded my eyes, making it difficult to see, and the darkness of the bus didn't help. I didn't bother finding a way to turn the light on and simply felt my way to a wall. I leaned my back against it and felt as though my legs gave out; I slid down the wall slowly.

When did my life turn into this?

In the beginning, everything was going well - perfect, almost. Travis was a great boyfriend, one of the best I'd had. He took me on great dates, brought me flowers... Daisies, to be exact. My favorite. He planned out amazing things, for me - picnics, weekend getaways, anything. I still remember our eight month anniversary, to this day.

He wrote me a song, to tell me he loved me.

My constellation,
my aura,
my single, shining star.
You light up my night sky,
a perfect balance of brilliancy.
You're giving back that which I have thrown away,
Finding what I have lost.
Letting me into your world.
You're showing me perfection,
bringing me back to comfort.
Not a person could ask for more.
Not a brighter star,
nor a brighter lit sky.

No one had ever done a thing like this, for me. - I couldn't help but love him.

Things headed downhill a few months later.

I had been so excited to see Travis all day. I'd rushed through band practice, looking at the clock every few seconds until Sophie finally turned to me smiling, "Just go."
I quickly took off, checking my make-up before I left my car to walk to Travis's front door.

He opened the door as I was walking up the walkway to the house; Travis had a wide grin and I couldn't help but return the smile. It was our ten month anniversary, and we planned simply to just hang out and watch movies. Things were going as planned, until the first movie ended. Travis and I kissed, and it quickly escalated into making out. One of his hands moved down, towards my jeans, and he starting messing with the button. I broke the kiss, giving him a strange look. "Don't do that, Travis," I said lightly.

"C'mon, Chloe," He said, "We've been dating for ten months!"

"Are you serious?" I mumbled, pushing him away from me, so I could stand.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He questioned. There was an odd tone to his voice, that I hadn't noticed before, something strange. Realization set in a moment later, and I was surprised I hadn't noticed this when we'd kissed; Travis had definitely been drinking.

"You're drunk?" The words barely left my throat above a whisper. "I can't believe you, Travis. That's disgusting."

Travis stood as well, nearly six inches taller than me. There was an emotion in his eyes, a strange form of anger. "You fucking think I'm disgusting?" He said, his voice low. I took a step away from him - I didn't know what to expect, didn't know what was about to happen.. "Fucking bitch," He growled, I froze. "I need to teach you to show me some respect."

As he finished the last sentence, he moved towards me. I felt like a deer in the headlights, frozen in place. Travis reached out quickly and shoved me backwards forcefully. Because of the push, I fell back onto a small table to the side of the couch, sliding over the table and hitting my head on the wall.

Back in the bus, tears were streaming down my face. I remembered that night clearly. I pulled my sunglasses off of my face, tossing them carelessly onto the couch a few feet away. A few moments later I panicked, hearing the door of the bus open. I turned away from it, only looking at the person who entered when I heard the familiar voice of my friend Josie.

"Chloe?" She said softly. I turned to face her, still on the ground. "Chloe, are you alright? I just saw you storm away from the party..."

"I'm fine," I lied. "Travis called, and he was being a jerk, is all. Same as usual." My eyes instinctively shut when the light flicked on above me.

Josie sat next to me on the ground, and she looked like she was about to say something. She paused for a moment, though, looking strangely at my face. "When did he...?" Her voice trailed off. "I didn't realize..."

Josie, who was currently living with me, on a bus, was so used to me being bruised, especially around my eye, that she didn't even realize how bad the current bruise on my face actually was.

"A few days before we left," I sighed, "I went to see him, he was drunk.. it didn't end well. It never ends well," More tears spilled from my eyes.

"Chloe," she said softly, pulling me into a hug. "You dont deserve this. I don't understand why you stick around him."

"It's confusing," I mumbled into the crook of her neck, still crying. "When he's sober, he's so nice, it's only when he drinks that he's like this." I sighed, pulling away from her, to look her in the eye. "It's just, that... he's more drunk than he is sober. I know how he is, how he can be - and I feel like I'll see that again, if I just wait."

Josie looked at me sadly, "I know, but this isn't right. I hate seeing you come home every night with bruises and black eyes. He isn't getting better, Chloe. He's just getting worse."

I sighed again. "It's harder to get out of this than it sounds, Josie," I said. "I mentioned that I couldn't come see him, today, on the phone and within moments he started yelling and screaming. I hate it, Josie, I really do. I hate being like this, always freaking out.. I mean, people probably think I'm crazy..." I didn't mention names, but I couldn't help to think of Brendon.

"People don't think you're crazy," she smiled weakly. "Just shy. Next time he calls, promise me you won't answer, Chloe. Maybe if the band gets signed all of us girls can get a place together and you'll never have to see him again."

"That would be great," I said, attempting a weak smile. "But Josie, don't worry about me, alright? Not tonight. Go have fun," I gestured towards the door of the bus, "I'll be fine."

Josie smiled softly, "Alright," She said, "But come get me if you need to talk or anything." With that, she stood and left the bus.

I stood and walked over to the couch, laying down quickly. I wanted to sleep, get rid of the thoughts in my head - but I couldn't help thinking about that midnight, so many months before.

"Chloe?"
I had never seen Sophie look so horrified as she opened the door, revealing me on the porch. My shirt was ripped down the side, revealing a now-forming bruise. My bottom lip was busted and bleeding, and a fresh black eye was forming - this was the first of many.
"What happened?" She questioned, pulling me into the house. I couldn't think of words, of how to tell her what happened. How would I explain to my best friend that the sweetest guy ever just did this to me?

I sighed. "Travis," I managed to mumble, although talking hurt my lip, "Travis." No other words came to mind.

Sophie's eyes widened. "Why would he..." She mumbled, leading me to her kitchen. I sat down in one of the brown chairs at the end of the table. "How long has he been doing this?" She finally asked, digging through her freezer for something. She finally pulled out an ice pack, wrapping it in a towel before handing it to me. When I held the pack to my eye, my sleeve slid down my arm slowly, revealing a line of fading scratches, wounds left over from Travis a few days before.

"A while," I mumbled, touching my lip softly, noticing the blood as I pulled my fingers away. "Two months... never this bad, though. I tried to ignore it, didn't want to tell you," Tears rolled down my cheeks. "I thought it would get better, thought he would stop..."

"Chloe," Sophie said with a low voice. "You know I'm your best friend, you can tell me anything," She said. "Do your ribs hurt? Why'd he do this?" The words left her mouth quickly; it was hard to keep up with the questions she was asking me.

"Honestly, my eye hurts more than anything right now," I mumbled, moving the ice pack away for a moment, so she could get a better look. "And my lip," I sighed. "My side's just bruised, probably."

"Why would he do this?" She asked, sitting on a chair next to mine. Her dark green eyes showed she was stressed.

"He was drunk," I mumbled, "That's always how it starts. He'll want to hang out, and of course I'll listen." I explained. After a slight pause, I sighed, "I'm such an idiot."

"Don't say that," Sophie whispered. "You're not an idiot, Chloe. Really."

"Then why the hell do I always fall for it? When he's drunk, he's like a completely different person. I know that, I should know not to go see him when I know all he wants to do is fuck me," I grumbled.

"You love him," Sophie said softly, "You know there's a good guy deep down there, and you think you can bring it out," She whispered.

She knew me so well.

I was broken from my thoughts, back into the reality of laying on the couch on the bus, by a loud knocking on the door.

"Chloe, are you alright?" I heard someone yell. The voice sounded like Brendon's. Did Josie say something to him? I hope not.

Without even bothering to open the door to tell him I was okay, I stood and walked to the bunk area of the bus and laid on my bunk. I must've been more tired than I realized, because I was asleep in moments.