Status: Read, Stay with me... Please!
Look at Me
20.
Hayden eyed the spot she indicated he should sit and then rubbed his arms awkwardly. It would be a little hard to “Make himself comfortable” when he was wearing almost nothing. A small towel wrapped around his waist didn’t leave a whole lot to the imagination. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed of his body…Well okay, maybe a little.
He was all jutting angles and snow-white skin. Didn’t girls go for guys like Chris Treybourn? Super tanned Jocks with huge muscles and a Brad Pitt complex. He was the exact opposite of that. Hayden felt his cheeks grow warm as he remembered the time he tried to dye his hair blond. It had been the year before, just before Prom. He’d bought the box of dye and dumped it on. Of course, he hadn’t realized black hair won’t go blond unless you bleach it. So he walked around with weird streaky half black half smutty brown hair for like a week and then he changed it back.
He’d told himself he was bored with dark hair, but really, he’d been trying to be more invisible. Despite the way he dressed, people sometimes still took him for a Goth. A popular target for the more sadistic students to pick on. Hayden didn’t want to popular, but he really didn’t want a bunch of assholes calling him Emo all the time. Chances were he’d ask them what made them so fucking perfect and get his ass kicked. He got enough of that shit at home that he didn’t go looking for it at school.
He didn’t look for anything. He certainly hadn’t looked for Paige. But he’d found her. And as much as he tried to hate her, hate her for being everything he wasn’t, he just couldn’t. She was perfect.
***
Hayden’s face had gone a little flushed and he wasn’t moving to sit down. Paige thought for a minute and then said, “Oh right, you need a shirt don’t you.”
His lips twisted (Sexiest thing ever!) and he said dryly, “I really doubt you have anything that would fit me.”
Paige glanced down at her disappointingly small chest and frowned, thinking he was probably right. Then she remembered her oversized nightshirt and Paige made a beeline for the closet.
“Here,” she said tossing it to him.
“My Chemical Romance?” Hayden said questioningly as he held the shirt up.
Paige raised one eyebrow and said, “Would you rather wear something with Care Bears on it, because I can totally look.”
Hayden’s lips twisted again and he murmured, “No, it’s just you’re …. different then I thought in some ways.”
“People normally don’t fit in to the orderly little boxes they’re supposed to,” Paige retorted a little defensively. “And isn’t that just a little hypocritical. You’re not exactly what you seem like. Ya know HUMAN.”
Paige regretted that the instant it left her lips, but Hayden didn’t look offended. He looked thoughtful as he pulled the shirt over his head.
“I meant it in a good way,” he said quietly. “Not many people would still be talking to me after…after they found out the truth.”
There was a long moment of silence. Neither of them spoke and Paige looked at the carpet with sudden interest. The truth. It always came down to that. And the truth was Hayden wasn’t normal. He was a shape shifter, or werewolf, or whatever. And she could either deal or she couldn’t. It was as simple as that.
So, Paige looked straight at him and said, “I’m not afraid of you Hayden. Don’t do anything to change that and we won’t have a problem. Now, do you want to tell me where all that blood came from?”
Hayden walked over and stood by the foot of the bed, just far enough away for her to notice the distance.
When he spoke his voice was a little shaky, “Maybe you should be afraid of me Paige, because I honestly don’t know.”
“Wha…what do you mean Hayden?’” she stammered as the tension twisted her insides into knots.
He looked at her, his bright green eyes filled with fear and confusion, his body hunched in an unconscious self-protective gesture. Then he murmured, “You said I could tell you, if I did something bad or if something bad happened to me. Well, I did and it has.”
Hayden waited for Paige to speak, but he already knew exactly what she’d say.
Who did you hurt?
And how would he reply to that? The man who murdered my mother? The man who beat the shit out of me because he felt like it? Either answer led to more questions. Each answer would give away a secret that he’d locked inside himself for seventeen years. Part of him wanted to scream out everything at the top of his lungs, but the other part was afraid…
How would she react? Would she look at him with new fear filled eyes? Would she finally see him for the animal he was?
It was a mistake, he told himself. I never should have come here. I never should have got in the car that night,
Because it would be better for her not to see him at all, for him to remain invisible, then to see her scared of him. He didn’t know if he could bear it if Paige changed her mind and decided she was afraid of him…
Then Paige finally opened her mouth and spoke.
Her voice was barely above a whisper as she asked, “Who hurt you Hayden?”
He was all jutting angles and snow-white skin. Didn’t girls go for guys like Chris Treybourn? Super tanned Jocks with huge muscles and a Brad Pitt complex. He was the exact opposite of that. Hayden felt his cheeks grow warm as he remembered the time he tried to dye his hair blond. It had been the year before, just before Prom. He’d bought the box of dye and dumped it on. Of course, he hadn’t realized black hair won’t go blond unless you bleach it. So he walked around with weird streaky half black half smutty brown hair for like a week and then he changed it back.
He’d told himself he was bored with dark hair, but really, he’d been trying to be more invisible. Despite the way he dressed, people sometimes still took him for a Goth. A popular target for the more sadistic students to pick on. Hayden didn’t want to popular, but he really didn’t want a bunch of assholes calling him Emo all the time. Chances were he’d ask them what made them so fucking perfect and get his ass kicked. He got enough of that shit at home that he didn’t go looking for it at school.
He didn’t look for anything. He certainly hadn’t looked for Paige. But he’d found her. And as much as he tried to hate her, hate her for being everything he wasn’t, he just couldn’t. She was perfect.
***
Hayden’s face had gone a little flushed and he wasn’t moving to sit down. Paige thought for a minute and then said, “Oh right, you need a shirt don’t you.”
His lips twisted (Sexiest thing ever!) and he said dryly, “I really doubt you have anything that would fit me.”
Paige glanced down at her disappointingly small chest and frowned, thinking he was probably right. Then she remembered her oversized nightshirt and Paige made a beeline for the closet.
“Here,” she said tossing it to him.
“My Chemical Romance?” Hayden said questioningly as he held the shirt up.
Paige raised one eyebrow and said, “Would you rather wear something with Care Bears on it, because I can totally look.”
Hayden’s lips twisted again and he murmured, “No, it’s just you’re …. different then I thought in some ways.”
“People normally don’t fit in to the orderly little boxes they’re supposed to,” Paige retorted a little defensively. “And isn’t that just a little hypocritical. You’re not exactly what you seem like. Ya know HUMAN.”
Paige regretted that the instant it left her lips, but Hayden didn’t look offended. He looked thoughtful as he pulled the shirt over his head.
“I meant it in a good way,” he said quietly. “Not many people would still be talking to me after…after they found out the truth.”
There was a long moment of silence. Neither of them spoke and Paige looked at the carpet with sudden interest. The truth. It always came down to that. And the truth was Hayden wasn’t normal. He was a shape shifter, or werewolf, or whatever. And she could either deal or she couldn’t. It was as simple as that.
So, Paige looked straight at him and said, “I’m not afraid of you Hayden. Don’t do anything to change that and we won’t have a problem. Now, do you want to tell me where all that blood came from?”
Hayden walked over and stood by the foot of the bed, just far enough away for her to notice the distance.
When he spoke his voice was a little shaky, “Maybe you should be afraid of me Paige, because I honestly don’t know.”
“Wha…what do you mean Hayden?’” she stammered as the tension twisted her insides into knots.
He looked at her, his bright green eyes filled with fear and confusion, his body hunched in an unconscious self-protective gesture. Then he murmured, “You said I could tell you, if I did something bad or if something bad happened to me. Well, I did and it has.”
Hayden waited for Paige to speak, but he already knew exactly what she’d say.
Who did you hurt?
And how would he reply to that? The man who murdered my mother? The man who beat the shit out of me because he felt like it? Either answer led to more questions. Each answer would give away a secret that he’d locked inside himself for seventeen years. Part of him wanted to scream out everything at the top of his lungs, but the other part was afraid…
How would she react? Would she look at him with new fear filled eyes? Would she finally see him for the animal he was?
It was a mistake, he told himself. I never should have come here. I never should have got in the car that night,
Because it would be better for her not to see him at all, for him to remain invisible, then to see her scared of him. He didn’t know if he could bear it if Paige changed her mind and decided she was afraid of him…
Then Paige finally opened her mouth and spoke.
Her voice was barely above a whisper as she asked, “Who hurt you Hayden?”