Look at Me

Gabriel awkwardly tugged on his pants and reached for the car door. As he started to open it, Hayden grabbed his arm roughly and said, “Where are you going?”
“Well…” Gabe answered slowly as he arched his platinum brow. “Frizzy, braces girl did seem a little upset and I thought I might…apologize.”
Okay, he hadn’t done anything wrong. It wasn’t his fault the chick went all bi-polar and stomped off. Jesus!
But he did feel guilty…kind of. Paige was upset and Hayden looked like he’d like to strangle him. Even though Hayden made supermodels look fat, [Seriously the kid looked like one of those people you see in third world countries with their bones sticking out in all directions.] he was still a little intimidating. Maybe that was because Gabe knew what Hayden was…and he knew exactly what he could turn into.
Besides, Gabriel really didn’t want to pick a fight. He wanted to help Hayden for God’s sake! He’d warned him about Our Lady of Sorrows as a favor! Now he was in the middle of the woods and he was about to go make nice with an air-headed “normal person.”
It was okay though. All the trouble was worth it, because he knew now that he was alone. He wasn’t singularly cursed as he’d always assumed. Somehow it was just nice to know that someone is in the world was just as fucked up as he was. That was a selfish way of thinking, but Gabriel didn’t claim to be the angel after whom he’d been named.
Hayden evidently didn’t think he was either. He frowned at Gabriel’s words and said, “Apologize? You did that on purpose though. You meant to scare her.”
“I did not. I mean…I meant to change, but I didn’t think she would freak out like that….” Gabriel said in a weak attempt at defending himself.
Hayden leaned in close. The bright gold sparks in his green eyes were visible and they seemed to burn as he said, “Remember when it first happened? How did you feel when you realized your skin wasn’t your own anymore? Did it freak you out?”
He was kind of right….
Shit.
Gabriel hated it when other people were right. He felt the door he kept closed on the past rattle and creak. Memories wanted to pour out into his mind the way a dying man’s blood pours onto the floor. He felt them pushing, screaming, and clawing to get out, but he made himself keep the door shut. He didn’t want to remember ….

***

Hayden watched Gabriel’s face change and he was pretty sure he’d made his point. He got out of the guy’s personal space and was about to tell him to just stay in the car. Then he realized something...
Paige was in the car. He wasn’t leaving them alone together. All the suspicion and mistrust he felt toward Gabriel had just been multiplied by like 20. There was no way he was leaving him unattended with the most important thing in his life. Hayden had done a million stupid things in his life, but this was not going to be one of them…
So, he said, “Get out of the car Gabriel.”
“What…”
“I’m not putting anyone in danger because of you. Not Terry…not Paige.”
“So, you drove me to the middle of nowhere and now you’re dumping me. Really…that’s…that’s just fucking perfect,” Gabe stuttered.
Part of Hayden knew he wasn’t thinking very rationally. He knew all the backed of feeling toward his step-father and the pain he’d caused were clouding his judgment and poisoning his thoughts. Maybe Gabriel was just an idiot with a stupid sense of humor, but at that moment, all he could feel was angry. He was angry for so many things…
His mother for being weak…
His father for leaving…
His step-father for hurting him and his mother for so long…
.
.
.
Himself for not being able to do anything about it, because he’d been trapped in a prison that didn’t have bars or a door. Fear had held him quiet as afraid as surely as iron could...but he couldn’t be afraid anymore…he wouldn’t.

So, Hayden made himself behave like a normal human being. [Even if he wasn’t one.] He said slowly, “I’m not saying were going to dump you Gabriel. I just need you to stand outside the car while I speak to Terry.”
Gabriel eyes darted suspiciously to Paige and he said, “I wouldn’t hurt her you know. Not any more the you would. She’s too perfect to even think about damaging her loveliness. I wonder if you know that?”
Hayden looked into Gabriel’s eyes and saw something that disturbed him. For once, the strange boy didn’t look crazy or unbalanced. He spoke with the rare thing they call honesty.