Look at Me

Confusion was not a surprising emotion. For Hayden Peirce, it was just too familiar to have any shock value. He felt a mixture of annoyance and ignorance, but he did not feel surprised. As he watched the disappearing headlights of Terry’s car, Hayden felt it wash over him. The same emotion he’d been feeling the entire day. And he was not surprised…
“I’m not really sure I got what just happened,” Paige said quietly, her voice mirroring everything he was thinking. “Why did she just take off?”
“Absolutely no idea,” Hayden said, looking down the vacant streets of suburbia. “Unless, she assumed I was spending the night at your house…”
Paige made a nervous coughing noise and Hayden realized how that sounded. Spend the night…as in sleep together…as in bodies twisting together and touching in the most intimate of places…Hayden felt heat crawl up his neck and he was suddenly very glad it was dark. He knew his white skin made it very obvious when he was blushing and Hayden didn’t want Paige to see that he’d turned the color of a boiled Maine lobster. Hayden was a guy and blushing was just not a thing that guys were supposed to do. [Or admit to doing] It was a sign they were thinking about things that they weren’t supposed to be thinking about. Which he was…
“Well,” Paige said. “I really didn’t want you to go back to the station. Not if you’re leaving tomorrow…I wanted you to stay with me.”
Hayden heard it. The sadness in her voice. The subtle pain that tinged her words and left them ringing in his ears.

I wanted you to stay with me…

If only she knew how badly he wanted that too. Not just for a night, but forever. He didn’t want to go to another town. As happy as Hayden was to be leaving his so called “home” and rip away from the past, he did not want to leave her. It was only for the rest of the year. Hayden kept reminding himself that, but it didn’t make the idea of leaving her any easier. What if she found someone else…?
There it was. The question that lurked in the back of his mind. It had never made sense for Paige to love him in the first place. And that was what she’d said…love.
Paige had said she loved him too much to let him disappear. But what if he did? If he disappeared, would she forget him? Hayden wouldn’t blame her. Someone like Chris Treybourn or even Denis Harper, would be so much less complicated. They wouldn’t make her worry or scare her friends half to death. [Not that the scaring thing had even been his fault] But then, would any of those boys ever really see her either? Would they ever really notice her or love her the way that he did?
No…
“You’re running away again,” Paige whispered softly. “Where are you going this time…?”
Hayden cleared his throat, but his voice still sounded rough when he replied, “I didn’t go anywhere. I was just thinking how much I didn’t want to leave.”
Paige stepped closer and said with unashamed desperation, “Then don’t. Stay with me…”