Finding Love Is Hard; Holding Onto It Is Easy

“Liza, hurry up! The dinner starts in ten minutes!” I heard my mother call from the front room. I raced around my room, searching for the shoes that matched my dark blue dress.

“I’ll be down in a minute!” I called back. I finally found my shoes and hopped down the stairs, trying to put them on. My foot hit a stair wrong and I tumbled the rest of the way down, landing on the floor at the bottom with a loud thump. “Ow!” I cried. Mom hurried toward me.

“Are you all right? What happened?” She asked.

“I was trying to put my shoes on and get downstairs at the same time,” I explained, and mom sighed.

“Did you break anything?” She asked. I shook my head. “Your father’s already at the restaurant, and so is the team. We need to hurry.” I nodded and mom helped me off the floor. I finished putting my shoe on and we hurried to the car. We parked next to dad’s SUV and found the table everyone was sitting at. “Sorry we’re late,” Mom apologized.

“What happened this time?” My father, Claude Julien, asked.

“I fell down the stairs trying to put my shoes on,” I explained. Dad laughed, along with most of the team. The only ones who didn’t laugh were mom, Zdeno Chara, Marc Savard, and Milan Lucic. As the laughter died down, I took a seat between Milan and Zdeno. Milan smiled at me sweetly, while Zdeno gave me a nod. The waiters began to serve food to all of the guests. Everyone talked and ate and laughed. I snuck glances at Zdeno when I thought he wasn’t looking, but every time he looked in my direction, I quickly turned away. Halfway through the meal, I stood up abruptly. Dad stared at me.

“Liza, what’s wrong?” He asked.

“I need to use the bathroom,” I explained and half ran to the restroom. I hunched over a toilet and threw up. Clenching my sides, I huddled over the toilet, thanking God that my hair was up and out of my face. Heels clicked into the bathroom, and mom was standing over me.

“Oh, honey, what happened?” She asked. I shook my head.

“Don’t know,” I whispered. “Maybe it was something I ate.” I leaned over the toilet again and my body trembled as I threw up once more. Mom rubbed my back gently, and after a few minutes the pain in my stomach was gone and I could stand. Mom looked at me, concern written on her face.

“Are you sure you’re all right, sweetie?” She asked. I nodded and made my way toward the sink, rinsing the horrible taste out of my mouth.

“Let’s get back,” I said, and we went back to the table. Milan looked at me with concern, but I gave him a small smile. “I’m fine,” I assured him. He patted my arm gently as I sat down. Dad clinked his spoon against his glass, and the table quieted down. He cleared his throat.

“I want to thank everyone for taking the time out of their holiday to come here tonight. I know you’d much rather be spending this time with your families, but I appreciate that you came out here tonight. As you all know, the playoffs are coming up very soon, and I wanted to take tonight to congratulate you all for a very good regular season and to tell you that I’ll be pushing you harder than ever over the next few weeks, and the farther we get into the playoffs, the harder I’ll be pushing you,” He said. “So, good luck and have a good Easter,” He concluded. Everyone stood and started to leave at the same time. As I stood up and started saying goodbye to the players, I got a sudden feeling of dizziness. I stumbled and started to fall to the ground. Zdeno, the person closest to me, caught me and kept me from falling.

“Liza?” He said, and his voice was the last thing I heard before passing out.

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I woke up sometime later—I wasn’t sure how long it was exactly—to find myself in a hospital bed. I started to sit up and a nurse came in.

“Well now! Look who’s awake!” She said cheerfully.

“How long have I been out?” I asked.

“You’ve been out for just over four days. You had a nasty case of food poisoning. I’m surprised you didn’t pass out sooner,” She said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well, I… Let’s let the doctor explain,” She hurriedly left the room. A few seconds later, the doctor walked into the room, holding a chart in his hands.

“Well now, look who finally woke up,” He said in a fake cheerful voice with a fake smile to match.

“Cut the crap, doc. What happened to me?” I asked. His smile fell as he sat down across from me. He was silent for a long time.

“You had a bad case of food poisoning. The chicken you ate in the restaurant was only half cooked. You almost died,” He said. “That tall man brought you here rather quickly, luckily. He’s very worried about you.” I stared down at my blanket.

“Can I see him?” I asked sheepishly.

“Certainly,” The doctor said, standing up to open the door. “She’s awake. You can come in now,” He called out to someone. Zdeno’s tall frame filled the doorway. He walked in slowly and closed the door.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, taking my hand in his. My cheeks burst into flames as I blushed.

“Better. Are you all right?” I asked.

“Yeah, I am now,” He said. There was a long silence.

“Zdeno…” I trailed off.

“I saw you staring at me at the dinner,” He said abruptly. I fell silent, staring at our now clasped hands. He followed my gaze. “I suspected for a while that you like me.” I sat there for a long time. “And I hope you realize that this isn’t easy for me to say, but…”

“You don’t feel the same way about me,” I finished dully.

“No, that’s not—“ He started.

“I’ve heard it all before, save your breath,” I said. He looked at me with wounded eyes.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” He said softly, catching a tear from my cheek.

“Just go,” I whispered brokenly.

“I’m sorry, Liza,” He said a little louder.

“Go,” My voice broke and my hand trembled as I pointed toward the door. Zdeno backed out, and it looked as though he was fighting back tears. He hurried away, and Milan poked his head into the room.

“Liza?” He questioned, walking slowly into my room. I buried my face in my blanket and he put an arm around my shoulders. “It’s all right, hon,” He said softly in my ear. I stared up at him and he wiped the tears from my cheeks. I buried my face in his shoulder and cried. He sat there and rubbed my back until my eyes had run dry. “Feel better?” He asked. I nodded. “I have something for you. Close your eyes.” I did what he said, and his lips pressed gently against mine. “I love you,” He whispered, kissing me again.

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It’s been three months since Milan and I started dating. We were really happy together. I was just getting home from work early to surprise him by making him dinner before his big game against the New Jersey Devils and I saw his gray Tahoe already in the driveway. He’s home already? That’s strange, I thought as I pulled into the driveway. I walked into the house and heard a noise coming from upstairs. I went up and looked through the open bedroom door to see Milan kissing my best friend, Jamie. My car keys slipped from my hand and clattered against the wood floor. He jerked up and turned to stare at me.

“Liza—“ He started, but I turned and ran away. “Liza!” He ran after me, but I jumped into my car and drove away.

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I pulled into the parking lot at my friend Tracy’s apartment building. I raced up the stairs to his room and banged on the door, holding back tears. He came to the door and pulled me into his apartment.

“What did he do?” He demanded.

“I was going to get home from work early and make him dinner before his game. I saw his truck in the driveway and thought it was strange that he was home. I went inside and upstairs and Jamie was there and he was making out with her on my bed!” I wailed, crying into my hands. He pulled me into his arms and rubbed my back soothingly.

“Oh, Liza, he doesn’t deserve your tears,” Tracy’s friend Jacob said. I hadn’t even noticed he was in the room. I looked up at him and he smiled at me. “You’ll find someone better than him, I know it,” He said. I smiled back at him and spent the night at their place. We watched movies and ate takeout until well into the morning.

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A few weeks later, Jacob told me that to get over Milan, he and Tracy was taking me to the Sharks-Bruins game.

“And how will that help me get over him?” I asked.

“You can look at the other team’s guys. I hear they’re pretty cute,” Jacob said. I shook my head.

“You’re worse than my girl friends,” I said. He laughed and Tracy handed me a blank Sharks jersey.

“You’re officially a Sharks fan, my dear,” Tracy said. I pulled it on and we got into my cherry red Mustang. We drove to the Garden and parked in a spot close to the entrance. A light snow had begun to fall, so we hurried inside. “I’ll get us hot chocolate,” Tracy called as he walked toward a concession stand. I glanced around the arena and spotted Jamie with Milan across from us. I grabbed Jacob’s arm and he glanced down at me.

“What is it?” He asked. I jerked my head in the direction of Milan and Jamie and his rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry about them. Tonight is all about you and finding a cute guy from the other team,” He said. I laughed as Tracy came back over to us.

“Who has the tickets?” He asked.

“I do, right here,” I said, pulling them from my back pocket. We walked to our seats.

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“What about number 9?” Jacob asked, pointing toward the bright number 9 with the name Michalek written on the back of his jersey.

“No, those girls over there can’t keep their eyes off of him, even when he’s on the bench,” I said glumly.

“How about number 12?” Tracy asked, pointing toward Marleau. I shook my head.

“No, I don’t think I’d get along with him very well,” I said.

“What about number 19?” Jacob tried, pointing toward Thornton. I gazed at him, watching him skate effortlessly across the ice with the puck. He was tall, but not too tall, and he wasn’t unattractive. He seemed like he’d be a giant teddy bear. He skated easily into the Bruins’ zone and shot the puck toward Fernandez. The puck sailed over his shoulder, and I stood and cheered with Jacob, Tracy and the other Sharks fans that had ventured to Boston. “No opposition?” Jacob asked as I watched Thornton celebrate his goal. His smile lit up his whole face. He looked into the crowd and caught me watching him. He smiled at me and I found myself smiling back.

“No opposition, he seems nice,” I said.

“Not to mention nice looking,” Tracy said as we sat back down.

“Tracy!” I said, hitting his arm while holding back laughter. He grinned at me and we settled in to watch the game.

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After the game was over, we went out to the parking lot (After getting more hot chocolate) and stood outside to wait for the Sharks to exit the building. Most of them were in a good mood because of the win. We stood outside for a while before he came out: Joe Thornton. I smiled at him as he walked over. He returned it.

“Where do you want me to sign?” He asked. I turned around as he took out a marker.

“Wherever you like,” I said. He put a message on my back and capped the marker.

“There you go,” He said cheerfully.

“Thank you!” I said. “Oh, this is for you. Good job tonight!” I added, handing him the extra hot chocolate I had bought. He laughed as he took it.

“Thanks!” He said as he walked away. I smiled and waved after him. Jacob nudged me as we walked back to my car. As soon as we got to the apartment, I took off my jersey and read what he wrote.

Hey there, thanks for supporting the Sharks! I noticed you don’t have a name and number on your jersey. If you’re ever in San Jose, take it to the place I named here and tell them Joe Thornton sent you. They’ll know what to do. Thanks again for supporting us!
--Joe Thornton

Below his message was an address in San Jose. I showed it to Jacob and Tracy. Tracy smiled.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” He asked. I grinned.

“Road trip!” Jacob and I shouted together. He laughed as we went and packed up. I went online after I packed (I was the first one done) and bought us plane tickets.

“Plane leaves at 9:30 tomorrow morning. It’s the earliest flight I could get,” I said.

“Sounds good. Let’s all get some sleep!” Jacob called.

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The next morning, we got up, ate and got ready for our flight to San Jose. We got there in time to have a snack before the plane took off. It was three hours to get there, and so it was 9:30 in San Jose when we landed.

“Wow, déjà vu,” Jacob said jokingly as we stepped off the plane and headed to baggage claim. Tracy shook his head and I rolled my eyes. We got our things and headed to the hotel I had booked for us last night. We got into the room and unpacked. I took out my jersey and copied the address onto a piece of paper before carefully, albeit regretfully, washing away Joe’s message to me. I glanced at the address and realized it was within walking distance of the hotel.

“I’m going to go look for this place,” I called, grabbing my phone and leaving. I found it easily and a sales clerk walked over to me.

“Can I help you?” He asked.

“Um, Joe Thornton sent me,” I said, somewhat hesitantly. The man smiled and took my jersey from me.

“Would you like his name and number on this?” He asked. I nodded. “I can take the rest of this off of here. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind resigning it for a pretty girl like you,” He added, and I blushed. “Let’s get this taken care of. If you like, I can give you a call when it’s done. Just leave your name and phone number on the sheet on the counter.” I walked over and wrote my name and cell phone number on the paper before thanking him and heading out. I went to Starbucks across the street and got an iced coffee. I decided that since I had some cash to burn, why not go shopping? I went into a lot of stores and ended up with a few bags of clothes and shoes. Good thing I didn’t bring much to begin with, I thought as my phone rang in my pocket.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Is this Liza?” A male voice asked.

“Yes, this is,” I responded.

“This is Derek, from the sporting goods store? Your jersey is ready; you can come pick it up now.”

“Thank you very much.” I hung up and headed back toward the store. I saw the work he had done, and it was phenomenal. “Thank you so much,” I said. He smiled and shook his head as I reached for my wallet.

“Any friend of Joe’s is a friend of mine. No charge,” He said.

“Well, thank you very much, Derek,” I said. He smiled.

“If anyone asks, you got it done here,” He said.

“I’ll remember that!” I called as I left.

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I got back to the hotel room to see Jacob and Tracy both sleeping. I noisily set my bags down and jumped onto Tracy’s bed.

“Wake up!!” I shouted. Tracy yelled and fell out of bed while Jacob jerked up.

“What happened?” He asked hurriedly, looking around frantically. I laughed and got off of Tracy’s bed.

“I scared Tracy to wake you both up,” I said. Tracy shook his head with a grin while Jacob laughed. “I got some shoes for myself and my jersey looks awesome!” I showed them the jersey as I picked out a pair of shoes for dinner.

“Where are we going again?” Jacob asked, rubbing his eyes.

“I found this really great restaurant nearby that supposedly the Sharks go to,” Tracy said.

“So what, we’re going to stalk Joe Thornton for me?” I asked. Tracy and Jacob both nodded. I sighed. “I don’t want to scare him off,” I grumbled as I picked out an outfit to go with my shoes.

“That, my dear, is half the fun,” Jacob said. I sighed. It was going to be a long night.

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We got to the restaurant at around 7:30. We sat at a table near a window overlooking the street where I had gone shopping earlier. Jacob and Tracy were talking and I was staring out the window when Tracy suddenly shook my arm.

“He’s here,” He whispered in my ear. I turned to look around and his eyes met mine. He smiled and walked toward us.

“Hey,” He said, sliding in next to Jacob. “Good to see you again.”

“Good to see you, too,” I responded.

“Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom,” Jacob said, and Tracy went with him.

“Not too subtle,” I said, and Joe laughed. We talked for a while and at the end of the night, he invited me to hang out with him and his friends. I agreed, so I paid for my food and left with him. We went to his house along with Milan Michalek, Patrick Marleau, Evgeni Nabokov, Devin Setoguchi, Marc-Edouard Vlasic, and Ryane Clowe. When we got in, we headed into the living room and sat on his couch. They were all really cool guys; all of them were down to earth and really nice. We ended up playing video games most of the night, playing against each other in shifts. We ended up all falling asleep in Joe’s living room.

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The next morning, Joe and I were the first ones up. We quietly made our way into the kitchen and out into the backyard. We sat there and talked about everything and nothing at the same time. We watched the stars fade away in the pink of the early morning sky. He kept sneaking glances at me and would blush whenever I caught him looking. Like I used to do with Zdeno, I thought grimly. I shook the thought from my mind and focused on Joe. His hair was disheveled, but his eyes were bright. They shone beautifully in the early morning light. He placed a large, soft hand on mine and I leaned closer to him, taking in his sweet, peppermint scent. He leaned closer to me and hesitantly placed a soft kiss on my lips. I moved closer to him and he wrapped his arms around my waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck and we lay across the grass in each others arms as the sun peeked over the horizon.