Not Another Teenage Vampire Story

Dear Diary,

Okay so I've had two entries but who am I supposed to be entertaining? It's not like there are people waiting to read this. I just need to write things down to get my thoughts in order. It's actually extremely dangerous to be putting these thoughts on paper but I can't deal with this alone. So for now, paper, you are my friend so just listen.

I've been here for about four days and I already can't stand it. I do have a plan to get out of here. I've had a plan from the beginning but no one but Victoria knows. If I remember what Caleb told me correctly, they were putting something in my food here. So my simple plan is to not eat any food. I know its brilliant right? The problem is I'm only eating one meal a day and I'm starting to get weak. I try as often as I can to get out of the house. I make the excuse that it's too claustrophobic in the apartment for me but Ryan doesn't buy it. I have my own personal bodyguard that accompanies me everywhere and it's Mr. Tall Creepy Vampire Craig Dude himself. He doesn't talk much but when he does it's to make either a snide or perverted comment about the people around us. I don't know how he can go around bad talking humans out loud like that and not get noticed. But anyway, I'm insanely hungry all the time. so badly it burns my throat. My plan isn't going unrewarded though. I've noticed something very strange. Every night, around three in the morning, Ryan and a couple of the other vampires sneak out. I noticed at first because when I tried to follow them, Craig appeared out of the shadows blocking my way saying something about being assigned to make sure I didn't go anywhere. This was just all the more frustrating.

I'd go to Edward for help but I kind of feel sorry for him. I went down to the kitchen one night and I found him alone sitting at the bottom of the stairs. He had his head resting in his hands and it took me a while to realize why his body was shaking so out of control, then I realized he was crying. He seems so out of place here. Like, everyone looks so menacing and cruel and threatening. I mean, don't get me wrong, Edward could be ferocious if he wanted to but he wasn't like that by nature. I should talk to him more, he might be one of the few allies I have here.

I can't write much more, I need to get some sleep. I'm planning on having a day out alone tomorrow. Well, not alone, of course Craig will be with me. But I'm planning on sneaking off somewhere to meet Victoria. I need an update from her, hell; I just need to see her. I feel so on my own here, like a one person army against an entire kingdom. And it doesn't help that I'm responsible for Max too now. Ugh, Max is a whole other thing to think about. I can't say that I don't have feelings for him because I don't like to lie. What can I say, I'm desperate for attention I guess. And Max has been giving me attention recently. No, not in that way, he's just always there. He's always asking if I'm okay. I always catch him looking at me out of the corner of my eye. I feel something building up that shouldn't be. We were different now. Once he was safe, I'd have to find some kind of way to take myself out of his life. We just didn't fit together anymore. But I can't worry about that now I'm going to give myself a panic attack.

I just need to focus on finding Victoria tomorrow, she can help. Yeah... this will work. I'll make it work.