Chemistry Class

Forgive and Forget; It's just a Memory.

He acts really lovey-dovey the next day. I don't mind, but it kind of freaks me out. I kind of feel like he's going to fast. But when he kisses me, he takes my breath away. And when he kisses me, he takes his ex's breath away too. She always sees us kissing, or hugging, or talking, or something. She always gives me a horrible look when i pass her in the hallway. I always smile and say hello. I'm a better person than her.

It's after school, the bell just wrang. I'm waiting for Seth to show up to take me to his house so we can spend time together; Chemistry is so not enough. He shows up five minutes late, but even the sight of him cheers me up. "Hey, baby." I smile and kiss him. He smiles a sad smile, kisses me deeper than the ocean and hugs me like he's dying. "Joaquin, I love you, but I can't date you anymore. I'm in love with Christy again." And that's when that dumb bitch walks up and kisses me on the cheek. "Thanks for my boyfriend back, slut." They left, and as soon as I was sure they were gone, I broke down and cried my eyes out. And who should happen to find me but Darlene. She looks totally different when not in a chemistry class. Her five foot frame is curvy and beautiful. Her long auburn hair falls to her rib cage; her eyes are like jade. "Joaquin, guess what."

As I sit there crying my eyes out over the only guy I had ever truely loved, wondering why this chick is intruding on my depression, I say, "What?"

"You don't need him."

"And why is that?"

"Parce que te amo."

I look at her through teary eyes and kiss her softly. "Don't worry, Joaquin, you'll be all better." She hugs me to her chest and I breathe in her sweet scent. I'd forgotten how much I liked women when Seth claimed me. I bring her lips back to mine and she's right, I am all better.

But the healing process is slow. Darlene's with me everyday after school, helping me through the random bouts of crying, screaming, and cursing, always softly saying endearments in Spanish. And after a while, I stop wanting Seth, and start wanting Darlene. And she's always there, always loving, always sweet. Always...

It's senior year now. Darlene sits on my left, helping me with my Calculus homework. It's four o'clock and her mom shows up to take her to her aunt's house for the weekend, the wonderful Catholic she is, protecting her daughter's (lost) virtue. She calls an hola and I call back, "¡Buenas Tardes, Señora Fuentes!" Darlene blows me a kiss and the car speeds off. I walk to my own car and think about how much I love Darlene. I think back to Seth for a moment. I do this often. I compare how Seth was and think about how much better Darlene is. We know everything about each other, down to the tiniest detail. She's so great. I smile to myself and go for my keys. As I lower my head to look for my pocket, (Yes, because it runs away from time to time), a piece of red paper catches my eye. Red was his favorite color... I don't believe it. It can't be him. He hasn't talked to me in two years. I start to panic. Maybe it's just a parking ticket! Oh God, let it be a parking ticket! I pick it up; My world shatters.

Joaquin, I still love you.