That Beautiful Kind of Magic

"Baby, why won't you say yes?" John followed me about my apartment. The tousled brown hair flew into his face every now and then. He'd brush it away and continue after me.

I stood up against the wall with John's long built arms on either side of me. "I told you, John. I'm not ready." I smoothed out his hair with a small smile.

John pressed his lips to mine. Once they were unlocked, he sighed and looked to his feet. "Annabelle, we've been dating for a year, possibly more than a year. Why won't you marry me?"

I bit my lip, "I just--I want to wait. I mean, I'm not sure."

"You don't love me?"

"No! No--" I put my hands on his chest. "John O'Callaghan, how could you say that? Of course, I love you!"

"And I love you! Clearly I love you so much that I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He put his hands on my waist.

I slid my thumb across his lower lip. "I do love you." I took a deep breath. "But I don't know what's holding me back. Just give me time, I promise."

"You promise that you'll say yes?"

"I promise that I'll think about it."

John sighed once more, still looking to his feet.

I tilted his chin upward and let my lips lay on his softly. I let the feeling linger as John smiled into the kiss.

He shook his head, "Only you can make 'No' to a proposal taste so sweet."

I giggled, "That's either because of the peach I just ate or," I tilted my head to the side. "I am a very good kisser." I smiled.

"Hm," he smiled. "Could be both." He kissed me sweetly.

I smirked, "I'll catch you later, Love. Girls' night out."

"Lila, Dani, and Sierra?"

"Yes, sir." I nodded.

"Will you bring home some wine? Just in case, I feel a little romantic and," John twirled my hair. "Maybe a little seductive." He held that smile on his face that hinted something.

"A little more seductive than you seem now?" I chuckled. "Count me in." I kissed him once more. "I'll bring home some red wine, maybe a new dress." I ran my finger along his jaw line. "A pair of handcuffs."

John let out a hardy laugh, "You sound like Dani."

I winked, "Well, that's kind of expected. I hang out with her all the time. It couldn't be helped." I pouted a bit.

"Well," he pulled me closer to him. "The wine I like. The dress I like. The handcuffs--" He raised his eyebrows. "I might have to make an exception."

I rolled my eyes, "Don't pretend you won't love it."

"Very true." He smiled. "Go on, have fun. I'll see you tonight." John ushered me out the door.

"Catch you later, Love." I blew him a kiss.

John caught the kiss and held it to his heart.

I closed the door behind me and sighed.

Another turned down proposal. It's not that I don't love John. I really do. But something is pulling me back. Don't ask me what. I have no idea.

I wished for John. I got my wish. Why am I not happy with it?

Maybe I'm accepting a fraud?

Is this what I wished for?

I can never be sure.