London Calling

As we walked around there was someone that I kept spotting out of the corner of my eye who gave me a strange feeling. By the badge on the shirt she was wearing, I knew that they worked there but I could not figure out where I had seen them before. She had mousy brown hair that was tired up in a ponytail. Her general appearance was very ordinary, a white shirt and black trousers. That was naturally because of the uniform she was obviously required to wear for her job. But still there was something about her face that drew me to her.

As the day went on, I would see her almost everywhere I went. It was like she was following me, maybe she was just a fan and I met her at a signing or something. I tried desperately to convince myself that she was just a fan who was too scared to ask for our autographs, but I knew I couldn’t kid myself for any longer. I knew exactly who she was I just didn’t want to admit it.

Not really knowing what to do, and realising that we would be going on the big slide in about an hour and then heading home, I decided to get Matt’s advice on this.

“Hey Matt can I talk to you about something?” I whispered, pulling him away from the others guys.

“Yeah what’s up?”

“Does that girl over there look familiar to you?”

“Umm.” He looked carefully for a few seconds, then his eyes widened and his hands shot up to his face. “No way, that can’t be her!”

“So you think it’s her as well?”

“Well she looks different, but it has been like 4 years or something. She did say she was moving to England so it would make sense if it is her. But we can’t be sure unless you go over there.”

“Are you crazy? There’s no way I could that.” I was trying to keep my voice down, but it wasn’t really working as well as I hoped when I noticed Zack, Jim and John walking back towards us.

“Hey babe, what’s up you look all flushed?” Zack cooed into my ear, I have to say it really calmed me down.

“It’s nothing don’t worry about it. OW!” I felt a kick to the back of the leg, I knew it was Matt. He has such a way with words sometimes.

“What’s going on?” Zack’s face fell; I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to keep things from him so early on, but there was no way of telling how he would react. But from the look on his face there was no way he would let it go.

“Well you see that girl over there?” I gestured in her direction; she was now sat at the cafe so I presumed she was on her break.

“You mean the one sitting at the cafe? What about her?” Zack gave me a puzzled look, he hadn’t recognised her, but didn’t surprise me. He hated her guts not that he ever told me why.

“I think that might be Alice.” I held my breath in anticipation.

“You mean your ex-girlfriend Alice?” This wasn’t a good start, his eyebrows went all crinkly and I could see his face turning red.

“Yeah, I mean I’m not sure but I’m pretty sure it’s her.” I choose my words carefully knowing that any wrong move would end in the silent treatment.

I couldn’t tell whether Zack was upset or angry or both. He had no reason to be it was like I still had any feeling for her. For those of you who may be confused I will explain who Alice is. I had known her for as long as I can remember, and I always had a crush on her growing up. She was a conventional beauty, not to say that she was ugly, but she was more of tomboy than a girlie girl. I think that’s what attracted me to her, I was able to act like a guy around her but still enjoy the perks of her being a girl. We dated for about four years, we planned to get married and have kids, but something wasn’t quite right. We started to become distant and one day she told me that it was over and that she was moving to London, I was heartbroken. I tried everything to stop her from leaving but to no success. The last thing she said to me before she left for the airport was, “I love you so much and I know you love me, but we cannot go on living a lie. Your heart belongs to someone else and I would never be able to forgive myself if took away your chance at true happiness.” That was the last I heard of her. I tried to contact her but her family wouldn’t give me her details; they said it would be best for the both of us if we had time apart. After that I put all my heart into music, from then it was my life and I had no time for love or relationships. Not the greatest of ideas but heartache does strange things to a person.

So four years down the line and the woman who broke my heart and never fully explained why was sitting at a cafe just a few steps away and I froze. I had every right to be scared, I didn’t know how she might react if I spoke to her, and Zack obviously still hated her by the daggers he was sending which, would probably cut through the tension surrounding us. I wanted the world to swallow me whole, but I had to be a man about it and face certain death. I gave Zack a kiss on the forehead, whispered “Don’t worry I love you” in his ear and shuffled over to where Alice was sitting. I cleared my throat; she looked up at me and smiled. Good start. She offered me the seat in front of her and with a sigh I took it. I had been waiting for this conversation for a long time, I wasn’t sure if I could handle what I was about to hear.