London Calling

It had been a long day, helping costumers and directing little to kids to the slides. Honestly I cant wait until they get taken out, this is causing so much more work for everyone as teenagers just want to mess about and not actually enjoy the art. Luckily for me I had a half day and so at about 3:30 I finally got off but could I go home? No. The reason for this was that I spotted my ex-boyfriend, with his friends walking around. He was the love of my life, we were going to get married and have kids, we spent four long happy years together but I left for London because he was in love with someone else. Don't ask me how I know, call it women's intuition.

As much as it hurt to leave I knew I was doing the right thing, even though it hurt the both of us like hell. After I moved I never thought I would see him again. I considered going to their gigs while they toured England, but I couldn't imagine the mayhem if any of them spotted me in the crowd. I always thought I would bump into the guys the few times I went back to Cali to visit my folks but not here. In England. In an art gallery. It baffled me as to why they were there, until I remembered why some many people were gathered in the Tate. The damn slides. By my guess it was Jim or Zack's idea. It seemed like something those would come up with.

Not knowing what to do and not wanting to miss the opportunity to talk to Brian after all these years, I sat myself down at the café in full view of him and Matt. When I saw them looking over towards me I knew they had finally worked out who I was, granted after four years I did look different. Less boyish and more girlie, although I can't really pull that off in my uniform. I could tell by the look on his face that he was shit scared at the prospect of talking to me, it had been a while and he probably thought I hated him or something. He did however, seem more scared at what Zack was making of the whole situation. It was at that moment I realised that Brian had found his true love. I was excited to know how it happened, I hoped it was all romantic and the trauma after I left sent Brian into Zack's arms. Not what I should want for someone I love but I wanted him to be happy.

I saw him kiss Zack on the forehead and walk over to me. My heart skipped a beat. I put my head down to calm my nerves but it wasn't working. When I looked up again, he was standing in front of me, I smiled and offered him a seat. We both sighed and then it dawned on me that I had to say something, so I decided to go with something simple.

“You look well.” I wasn't lying, well I was he looked amazing but I couldn't possible say that. Was neither the time nor the place.

“Why did you leave?” He spluttered out.

“That's a bit sudden.” I thought we would at least get through some awkward small talk first.

“Sudden? It's been four fucking years and I've not heard a God damn word from you.” He had a good point there.

“I'm sorry, but I did it so you could be happy.”

“Happy? You broke my heart.” His eyes were shining, seeing me must have been bringing back so many bad memories from after I left. “I never understood why you left. I gave myself completely to you and threw it back in my face.”

“That's not fair Brian and you know it. I left because you were in love with someone else. I also know that they were real reason you wanted to go out with me, you wanted to get them off your mind.”

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Oh really? Then I guess you don't remember one drunken night when you told me you made out with Zack all night but you didn't want to admit that you liked it.”

“What? You're lying. I mean it wasn't like that and didn't mean I was in love with him.”

“No it didn't but the way you two were together told me and everyone else that you two were crazy about each other but in massive denial about it.”

“So why did you go out with me, if you knew I was in love with Zack?”

“Because I was drunk at the time idiot. And before I knew what had happened our casual fling had turned into so much more. I fell madly in love with you, but every day it killed me knowing that even though you said you loved me you didn't mean it, not the way you would have if you were saying it to him.” I couldn't believe I was finally saying all this to Brian after all these years, but it needed to be said. He also seemed to be accepting it, he didn't seem angry, more upset that he we both went through a lot of heartache because he was so stubborn.
“You don't regret being with me do you?”

“Not at all. You made me very happy and I left so you could be just as happy.”

“That's good I was scared you hated me or something.” For the first time since he sat down he had a smile on his face. Man I missed that smile.

“I had a feeling you might have been thinking that. So, how long have you and Zack been going out?”
“Huh?” Blood rushed to his cheeks. “Well only a couple of days now.”

“WHAT?”

“What do you mean what?” He started blankly at me with his head tilted to the side.

“Only a couple of days? It's taken you that long to admit?”

“You know how stubborn I am.”

“Yeah but four years is ridiculous. In any case I'm glad that you're together, even if it did take you this long.”

“Thanks, um do you want to go say hi to the guys?”

“That's probably not the best idea, I think Zack still hates me.”

“Rubbish he doesn't hate you.”

“Well he did back then. He told me that he hated me because I got to be with you and he didn't. Childish of him but so was me staying with you when I knew you wanted to be with him.”

“Ok maybe he did hate you, but he can't still hate you now...shit.”

“What?”

“After you left I said that I didn't want anything more to with relationships and that wanted to put all my focus and energy into the band. I slept around, never settling down and really not going anywhere near Zack...like that.”

“I see. I guess I have some apologising to do.”

After that neither of us knew what else to say, things had moved so quickly that we felt we had covered everything. Of course we hadn't, there was no way we could covered four years in a day let alone the 20 minutes we had been sitting outside the café. There was something else I needed to tell Brian, but now wasn't the time. It was too public and too close to Zack. It was that I didn't want him to know, but I thought it would be best coming from Brian himself rather than from me.

We exchanged phone numbers and arranged to meet the next day. I went over to the boys to say hello and play around with the awkward small talk that I thought Brian and I were going to have. Feeling the tension I made an excuse and headed home. As I walked through the glass doors I looked back to see them heading towards the fifth floor slide no doubt. I was nice seeing him. It was nice seeing them all again. Not as scary as I thought it would be but that was only the first hurdle, there was a lot more for me to tell.