Blood Isn't Always Thicker Than Water

I didn’t buy anything, but Samantha ordered a McFlurry. The Oreo kind. Well, she gasped what she wanted into my ear, then I went up to the counter and ordered.

Once she was halfway through the McFlurry, she finally broke the heavy silence.

“I guess I should explain, shouldn’t I?” Her face still had tear tracks, but she wasn’t heaving with sobs anymore.

“That would be nice,” I said back. “And I guess you deserve an explanation, too.” I flicked a paper football over to a couple that was making out in the booth across from us. When they glared at me, I just looked attentively at Samantha.

“For what?” she asked, looking sincerely confused.

“My über strength.” So poetic.

“Oh. Cas, I’ve known that for a while.”

I frowned. “What?”

“I know,” she emphasized. “You’re…” She leaned forward and beckoned for me to come closer.

No problem…

“I know you’re a…a ‘vampire’, Cas.”

Shocked, I pulled back and studied her face for any sign of fear, or anything appropriate for knowing the person across from you is a “vampire”, and has been all the time you’ve known him.

“Pete told me a long time ago.”

“Wentz…” I muttered murderously. “But, anyway, what happened to Fallen? Did he run into…you…”

As soon as his name left my mouth, Sam’s eyes let a few tears leak out.

Oh no. “What happened?” I asked demandingly.

She blinked a couple times as if she could coax her shed tears to return to her ducts.

“He’s never coming back.”

I cocked my head to the side. “Why?”

She looked at me disbelievingly. “Cas…” She swallowed. “He’s…he’s dead, Cas.”

I frowned. “How…did he die?”

“Well,” she said and placed a hand over her face, blocking her eyes from sight. “I just found him, lifeless, in Pete’s guest room, where he had been staying.”

“Suicide…” I murmured. “And I had thought he was getting used to being a ‘vampire’. He really seemed to be accepting it well…” Oh. Oh boy. “No, he wasn’t accepting that he was a ‘vampire’. He was accepting death…”

Samantha let out a heartbroken sound.

“Oh, man. Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Uh, thinking out loud. Sorry.” I moved around the table and sat next to her.

“It’s okay. I just still haven’t gotten over it.” She then surprised me by wrapping her arms around my shoulders and placing the right side of her face against the top of my chest, sort of in between my collar bones.

I carefully kept my arms to myself as the view my eyes saw swam before me. I loved yet hated the way she made me feel when she touched me. All the time I longed for the feel of her skin, her hair, the sound of her voice, the warmth that emanated from her, and also her mouthwatering smell. But it was becoming easier and easier and easier with every minute I spent with her to resist the temptation to bite her, to taste the blood in her that was just under the skin. I was feeling more human than I ever thought I would, but I didn’t want to test my limits.

I settled for stroking her hair. The silky strands slipped through my fingers and I marveled at the color. It was black with either blue or purple—or a mix of the two—highlights or hints in certain light. It was confusing and utterly beautiful.

“Cas?”

“Mm-hmm?”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t really even know. I just can’t picture this world without Fallen in it. And now he’s gone and…and I just don’t know what to do with myself.”

Suddenly, I stiffened. Someone had a newspaper, and it announced that a person named Richard Ricardo had been barely recognizable after his brutal murder. He was the guy I had gotten Jeremy from.

Everyone I came into contact with died! Marietta, my dad, I didn’t know about my mom, maybe the workers from the orphanage, possibly the little kid who had come to the orphanage after his parents died and been driven insane, Logan, Kaitlin, Troy, and now Fallen!

I looked down at Samantha. Lovely, innocent Samantha. I couldn’t put her in danger like this. I was dangerous, a magnet for trouble and death.

I sound like a freaky mixture of Bella Swam and Edward Cullen.

“Cas, what’s wrong?” she asked, her eyebrows contracting sweetly over her inquisitive eyes. She brushed a finger over my own furrowed brow. “You look like you just realized Jeremy died.”

Jeremy! I wasn’t a very good charm for “vampires”, either. If he died, it would be like Samantha losing Fallen all over again. Me being Samantha, obviously. I needed all these people (the term includes “vampires” for the moment) but if I want them to stay alive, I need to get away from them.

Gently, I pulled Sam’s arms down, away from me.

“Oh, sorry,” she said, blushing and sliding away from me. “You…don’t want that, do you?”

Shit, she was making this so much more difficult. She just totally asked me out!

I swallowed. “Samantha.”

“It’s Sam.”

I smiled sorrowfully and looked right into her beautiful eyes. “You can’t be with me.” That probably came out the wrong way.

“Why? Because you’re…you’re…what you are? I don’t care if you’re a…you know what. Cas, I just want to be with you.”

A hot prickly feeling sprung into life at the bottom of my eyes. No, I was not about to cry. The weird thing was that I also felt so light and happy and just plain blissful at those words it couldn’t have been good for my sanity.

“I want to be with you too, Samantha.” She scowled as I used her full name. “But I can’t. I can’t put you in danger. Don’t you see? I’m just a bad omen—or whatever it’s called—to everyone around me. Samantha, almost everyone I’ve known is dead.” I added on when she looked like she was about to protest.

I searched her face for a sign of understanding, or maybe a glimmer of fear. Right now I would definitely prefer the latter. If she was afraid of me, I’d be gone in a nanosecond.

“What are you saying? That you’re dong this so I don’t die? That’s ridiculous, Cas! I only want life if it has you in it.”

“Just like how you felt about Fallen.” If she felt hurt or something, maybe I could get away from here—from everything I knew—more easily. But, as the Edward I am, I hurt myself in the process. You know what? I don’t like all these Edward comments. I’ll stop making them.

Samantha didn’t look hurt. She looked enraged. “Caspian Luther Ross, I do not feel for you like a brother or cousin. Not even close. I feel…” She blushed. “I feel…complete when I’m with you.”

“Numbing the wound,” I murmured, half-believing what I said.

“Stop bringing Fallen into this!” She grabbed my shoulders, eyes wide.

The couple across from us that I had flicked a paper football at seemed to be trying to eavesdrop.

“Private conversation, here,” I said, lifting an eyebrow at them.
“Sorry,” both of them muttered, color flooding into their faces. Then they got up and headed out of the restaurant—if you could call it that. The lady sweeping the floor gave me a dirty look like it was my fault the two of them were nosy sneaks.

“Cas, look,” Samantha said, looking a bit defeated. “I just want you to be happy.”

“Then let me go,” I said, lying through my teeth. Being away from her may give me peace of mind, but I’d never be truly happy. Utter cheesiness, but what else do you expect from a love-struck teenager?

She pulled her arms back and sat on her hands, eyeing the table as she did so.

I shook my head and pulled one of her hands out from under her. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

She sighed as I played with her fingers a little, sending tingles through my arms. “Yes, I know. I couldn’t help but hope…”

I stopped toying with her fingers and focused on her face. She looked so downcast, but also slightly determined. Was she trying to think of a way to persuade me to stay?

That thought got shoved away when she sighed and glanced at my face. Now, she wasn’t trying to plan a way to make me stay. She was getting ready for the hurt she would receive when I felt, bid the final goodbye.

“Sam, I don’t want to hurt you.” I felt so stuck and hopeless. Everywhere I turned, Hurt was around the door, peering through the window or confronting me head-on. And I loathed it.

“I know you don’t.” She wrenched her eyes from the table to mine. “So. Where are you going to go?”

“I have no fuckin’ idea.”

She actually rolled her eyes. “Then stay. Please.”

I shook my head. “I can think of a few places.” You wish. “I just need to decide which one to go to.”

“Um… When are you planning on leaving?”

“Very soon.”

“Ah.” She wouldn’t look at me. “Will you keep in contact?”

“I can’t promise that.”

“Can you promise me at least one thing?”

I contemplated. “Fine. I’ll promise you one thing, but I get to choose what.”

She slowly looked over at me, like a turtle trudging through molasses. “Could you promise never to forget me?”