American Girl: Can't I Just Be Chloe?

Nothing in the world would make me happier than being able to tell Frankie how I feel about him, but I know that’s impossible. I just can’t bring myself to do that. Plus, why in the world would Frankie even want to date me? My mother may be the Junior Senator of California, but I’m still, somewhat, a regular person. The fact is that Frankie could date any girl he wants because he’s the Bonus Jonas. Plus, he has his own band. Why should I even bother then? Why should I even try to tell Frankie how I’ve felt about him since I was thirteen? Ugh! Now, you see, this is why I need my mother here. She could help me with my boy problems. But, no, she’s out in our nation’s capital and I have to turn to his famous older brothers for help. Yeah, that’s really normal. I have to go to a guy for boy advice.

Mom just doesn’t seem to understand how much I need her. And, Dad? Well, Dad isn’t much help. He’s a doctor and is usually on call all the time. That’s why I’m at one of the Jonas homes more often than not. I guess you could say that they’re like my second, third, fourth, and fifth homes. Of everyone, I’m closest to Nick and Frankie though. I’m close to Frankie for obvious reasons and Nick because he’s the easiest one to talk to. Nick was actually the first to realize that I like Frankie. In fact, he knew even before me. He was the one to help me realize that I was in love with Frankie. Kevin found out about a month later and both have been pestering me ever since to tell Frankie about how much I’ve been in love with him. I know I should but, I can’t do that quite yet. My feelings for him have been locked up for two long years, exactly as long as Rebecca Jonas has been alive.

That was when Nick made me realize that I was in love with him: the day that his daughter was born. It’s a day that I will never forget. Why? How about because I was only thirteen and I realized that my best friend, the guy that I want to spend the rest of my life with? I was young, but I already knew what I wanted for my life. I wanted to marry Frankie Jonas.

Frankie and I were just sitting around playing Scrabble when I heard a scream. Nick and Selena were here and I could only assume that it was her. She was nine months pregnant with their first child. Everyone, even me and Frankie, knew that she was about to burst. Apparently, that time was now was Nick came rushing through with Selena at his side. He turned to Frankie. “Go tell Mom and Dad that they’ve got another granddaughter on the way. Selena just went into labor. And, do tell Joe; he’ll let Kevin and Beth know.”

Within moments of hearing this, Frankie ran to grab his phone in order to call Joe while Nick sprinted out the door with his pregnant wife with him. Since that was being done, I went to tell Mr. and Mrs. Jonas that they were gaining a second granddaughter. “Mrs. Jonas! Nick wants you to know that Selena went into labor!” I called.

“My granddaughter!” she cried. “Do the others know?”

“Frankie’s calling Joe. He’ll spread the word,” I said.

Mrs. Jonas nodded. “Very true. Tell Frankie that his father and I will be there in a minute. Then, we’ll be able to see my second granddaughter be born. And Chloe? You can come with if you want. You don’t have to have to go home. In a way, you’re part of the family.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Jonas!” I said.

As we were headed out to the hospital, I thought of my own future and what my life would be like. It was a long way off, but what girl doesn’t think about their future at this age? We arrived at the hospital just minutes before Joe, Kyra, Quinn, Kevin, Betsy, Garrett, Madison, and Jason. The boys and Madison were set down on the floor to play while everyone else talked. Most of it was rambling from Mr. and Mrs. Jonas, but there were times in which the conversation turned to music and the wonderment about who would pursue music later on since all of them were musicians. Consequently, I drifted in and out of focus. We sat there for about an hour until Nick came out with a smile. “Rebecca Penelope Jonas!”

“Cute!” Betsy called.

“Why that though?” Joe asked.

“Selena picked it,” Nick shrugged.

Frankie and I looked at each other. Joe always had to ask the weirdest questions. Why he would ask about what Nick named his daughter was unknown. I glanced over at Joe who seemed as hyper as a five year-old. I rolled my eyes. “Is he ever going to grow up?” I muttered.

“Hey, Chloe, come here for a minute,” Nick said.

“What for?” I asked.

Nick motioned for me to follow him. We walked until we were out of earshot of the rest of his family. I soon realized that we were standing in front of the nursery. “Chloe, you seem to be hanging out with us a lot. Any reason for that? I, personally, am under the assumption that you like spending time with a specific little Bonus Jonas, but then, I could be wrong. So, do you have any idea as to why you hang out with us so much all the time?

I shrugged. “My mom is in D.C. a lot and my dad’s a doctor. So, in order to fill the void, I spend time with you guys. What does it matter?” I asked Nick, looking into the nursery and spotting the newest addition to the ever-growing Jonas clan. “Do I have to have a reason?”

“No, I suppose not,” Nick said.

Though I may not have initially suspected that my motives for spending time with the Jonas clan were more so about me being in love with Tank, I soon warmed up to the idea. A day later, I realized how much I truly did love Frankie and told Nick that he was right. Kevin found out a month later when we walked in on me and Nick talking about it. Yeah, that was an interesting day. Again, that was a day that I will never forget because Kevin learned my secret.

While Selena was feeding Rebecca, Nick and I were talking about Frankie. He had invited me over so that we could talk. With Rebecca, he hadn’t really gotten the opportunity to talk to me about why I liked Frankie so much. “So, little Chloe has a crush on Frankie? How long do you think you had these feelings for my little brother without realizing it?”

I shrugged. That was my immediate reason, since I really wasn’t sure what the reason for all of this was. I couldn’t tell what it was. “Honestly, I have no clue. I really do wish I knew. I mean, I’ve only known you guys for four years. How could I have developed feelings for Frankie in that short a time? To me, that’s impossible, but it did happen.”

A strange voice answered me. “You might have always had feelings for him, but never realized it until now because you were so young.” I turned and saw Kevin. “Those feelings were always there, ever since you met the four of us at that party. The realization came only now though.”

“Maybe,” I said.

The fact was though that I didn’t know if that was true. Unfortunately, there was no way for me to find out if this was true. I still wasn’t sure. If what Kevin said was true. Even after two years, I still hadn’t realized what my reason was for liking Frankie. But, whatever the reason, I was ultimately in love with Franklin Nathaniel Jonas. Of course, he was never going to like me; I felt sure of the fact that my best friend would rather date someone else. He would never want to date me. So, despite the fact that Kevin and Nick know of my feelings for him and wish for me to tell him how I feel, I’m not going do that. They know I love him, but I refuse to tell Frankie and risk his telling me that he doesn’t feel the same way. Rejection by him in particular is not something that I need right now.

I sighed and, as I lay on my bed thinking about this, wondered if I would ever have the courage to tell Frankie the truth. The fact was that Joe was going to find out eventually and he would make sure that Frankie knew too. Everyone knew that Joe finding out about my feelings for Frankie would be disastrous. Any Jonas fan would know that Joe is a very loud person. And, keeping secrets really is not really Joe’s style. That’s why I can’t tell him; that’s why Nick and Kevin agreed to keep this Betsy too. Betsy is the same way as Joe and her matchmaking ways would only get me in trouble. She would try to push me and Frankie together. I didn’t want us to be forced together; I wanted Frankie to realize that I loved him on his own terms unless I happened to tell him myself.