American Girl: Can't I Just Be Chloe?

I couldn’t say how long I was home alone. Time almost seemed to stand still. The only thing that made me aware that time was passing was the shadow the sun cast as it streamed into my room. As I was packing my things, I came across the old picture of me and Frankie, the one taken before my mom became the Senator. My mind drifted to the day that picture was taken. It reminded me of a time when I was actually happy living my life.

There wasn’t much going on as of late. It was mid-September and Frankie’s brothers were off filming along with Amanda and Betsy. Ever since Kevin learned that his wife was pregnant with his triplet children, Kevin refused to let Amanda—or Betsy—out of his sight. Frankie mentioned something about Joe, Nick, Betsy, and Amanda hiding her pregnancy from Kevin in order to keep him from worrying. When I found out about that, I had to laugh. It was hysterical. I’m sure Kevin didn’t think so though. But, anyway, that was one of the first things that Frankie told me when I met him two weeks ago. He told me of Amanda’s pregnancy.

But, with them gone, it was me, Frankie, and his parents here. And, I can tell you right now that there wasn’t much to do. Frankie was just sitting in the boys’ music room playing the drums…badly. I was laughing hysterically. “Frankie, if you’re ever going to be in a band like your brothers, don’t ever play the drums. You’re really bad at them,” I said.

“Okay,” Frankie said uncertainly.

“Kids, turn around and smile,” I heard Mrs. Jonas say.

We both spun around and found that Frankie’s mother had a camera in hand. She snapped a picture just as Frankie dove right next to me. He landed on top of me and we fell on the floor laughing.

That was one of my favorite memories. It was hysterical and I loved thinking about it. For my ninth birthday, Frankie gave me this picture frame along with this picture in. It was going on seven years since I had received that gift from Frankie and I think I was going to have to leave it here. It was going to give me too many painful memories. I sighed. I’m sending this back to Frankie. He needs to have it. I’ll send it to him from D.C. Maybe then, Frankie would understand just how much I didn’t want to see him.

As I tossed that into my suitcase, I heard the door open. Mom and Dad were home. I could only assume that the party was over. Everyone must have noticed that I left and decided to just end the party. The only reason that this party was even held was because I was trying to get rid of Victoria. Now that she was gone—out of my life forever—there was no need for me to be there. I had to leave. All I wanted to do was get away from Frankie so that he could no longer hurt me. And, going to D.C. was my only option.

“Chloe, where did you disappear to?” Dad asked.

“I had to get away from Frankie,” I explained, coming down the steps. “Despite the fact that Victoria is no longer in my life, I’m sure that she’ll continue to be in Frankie’s life. That ultimately means that I’m going to need to get away from him. So, I’m going out to D.C. in order to get away from the boy I love, the boy that broke my heart.”

“Running away from your problems is not an option, Chloe,” my mother said sternly. “You need to stay here so you can live with your father and everyone you care about.”

“You must be insane if you think that you can tell me what do with my life!” I shouted angrily. “I mean, you haven’t even been around for most of my life. Would that give you the authority to tell me what to do? I should think not, considering that you basically know nothing about me. After all, it did take you forever just to realize that I was in love with Frankie, despite the fact that you’re the ones who allowed it to happen. If it wasn’t for you, I never would have met Frankie. Therefore, it should have been obvious that I was in love with him. Not that it really matters now because Frankie hasn’t given me the time of day since Victoria entered his life. It’s the reason I want to get away from California right now, to get away from Frankie and hopefully get over my feelings for him. No matter how much I may love him, I just can’t deal with him right now; I can’t.”

As I said that, I heard a shuffling sound coming from outside. I couldn’t understand why there was even any noise out there at all, but shrugged it off. It was probably just the wind. After letting out a long, exasperated sigh, I turned back to my parents and continued reprimanding them about not paying enough attention to me…particularly what my mother had done. My parents needed to understand that, after not being in my life, they had no say in what I did with my life. If I wanted to move out to Washington, D.C., they could not say anything about it because they weren’t a part of my life.

“Chloe, the only reason that you want to do this so badly is to get away from Frankie, the boy you loved, but were too afraid to reveal your feelings to. He broke your heart because you were too afraid,” Mom said. “That is not a good enough reason to fly cross-country, young lady. You need to tell Frankie the truth, no matter how much you may not want to.”

“Not going to happen!” I yelled. I stormed upstairs and laid down on my bed. They were never going to understand. I needed to get away from all of this, away from Frankie. Once I was out of his life, Frankie could go back to dating Victoria and focusing on his career. I never wanted to see him again. Frankie broke my heart and I was through with him. I wasted two years trying to find the courage to tell Frankie how much I was in love with him and I failed; Frankie started dating Victoria and I was pushed out of his life. So now, I was going to do the same to Frankie to make him see how it felt to get pushed out of someone’s life, of someone they cared about deeply. Frankie needed to understand that. I really don’t think that he’s ever going to though, not so long as I’m around him.

While I was busy thinking about this, I heard a very loud commotion coming from downstairs. My parents were talking…about me and what I had just told them. “Chloe is never going to change her mind about all of this, is she?” Mom asked my father.

“I don’t think she’s going to anytime soon,” Dad replied. “She has become extremely stubborn over the past six years. You were gone all the time and I was always working. Chloe was over at the Jonas’s a lot over the past six years and she grew up hating the fact that neither of us was around for most of her life. That’s why she wants to fly out to Washington, D.C; it’s not only to get away from the boy she fell in love with that never returned her affection, but to hopefully spend a little more time than she has with you.”

“So, I’m going to have to take her with, huh?” Mom asked.

“Afraid so,” Dad said.

Perfect! I thought, looking over at the picture of me and Frankie that was sitting on the top of my suitcase. Now I’ll be able to get away from Frankie and make him understand the truth. He needs to understand just how much pain and suffering I’ve been in since Victoria entered my life. I’ve dealt with her for a full month and I couldn’t stand her. Frankie never noticed. Frankie never cared. All he cared about was spending time with his girlfriend, working, and staying away from me. I sat up and grabbed the picture frame. It was going to be so hard for me to let go of him, to let go of my feelings and let the boy of my dreams slip away. Then, so I wouldn’t have to see the picture anymore and be reminded of the love I lost, I hid the picture frame in a zippered compartment in my suitcase and went downstairs to talk with my parents about what was going to happen now that I decided to move away from California, away from Franklin Nathaniel Jonas forever.