A Cross to Bear

The sun was setting on what had been another almost unbearably hot and humid day in California. Brilliant shades of orange and pink streaked the sky and, down below, the boardwalk bustled with activity. Tourists stopped in front of craft stalls, admiring the handiwork; teenagers rushed past on skateboards or roller blades; couples walked by, enjoying the last rays of sunshine – it seemed as if everyone was as carefree as could be on that fine, summery afternoon. All but one, that was.

Evan Tanner, a man on a mission. He’d spent his entire day cooped up at work in a stuffy office building that was too cheap to even afford air conditioning and, as such, Evan had no choice but to endure the stifling heat. The only thing that had kept him going were his thoughts of what he would be doing later that afternoon.

He would be getting his first tattoo. Now to some people it wouldn’t seem important, but to Evan it was the one thing that mattered to him the most.

This tattoo meant a lot to him.

This tattoo was to document the new beginning of his life.

Pausing at the door of the tattoo parlor, Evan ran a hand through his short dark hair. He knew he was making the right decision in getting this tattoo, but he was still nervous. Would it hurt? Most of his friends had told him it would the first time; others had said he wouldn’t feel a thing.

Not feeling the slightest bit of reassurance as his friends’ words replayed through his head, Evan glanced at his reflection through the pane glass and a look of determination crossed his face. It was now or never. He pulled the door open, hearing a small bell tinkling as he entered the shop.

A tanned and very muscular looking blonde man wearing a tank top and jeans looked up as Evan approached. “G’day, mate,” the blonde man spoke in a very thick Australian accent. “The name’s Aaron. What can I do for you?”

Evan smiled. “Hey, I’m Evan.” He reached into his backpack and pulled out a piece of paper; on it was a drawing he’d worked on the night before. “I’d like to get this on the top half of my left arm, if that’s alright?” He handed the sketch over to Aaron, who returned the smile and nodded.

“Sure thing, it looks simple enough,” Aaron replied, his eyes moving over the paper. “I can definitely get this done for you. Give me about fifteen minutes or so to draw a sketch of this.” He gestured to a row of chairs by the door. “Just take a seat right over there and I’ll be with you when I can.”

Evan nodded and muttered a quick thanks to Aaron before taking a seat. He suddenly broke into a huge grin, finding himself becoming overcome with excitement. It was happening. It was finally happening after so long.

Evan impatiently fiddled with the strap on his backpack and thought about what getting this tattoo would mean to him. He’d waited three years to have it done.

Ten minutes later, Aaron returned from the back room with the sketch in his hand. “Alrighty then,” he said cheerfully. “Just come on over here and we’ll see how it looks, hey?” Evan crossed the room to where Aaron was standing in front of the mirror and rolled up his sleeve.

“Right here,” he murmured, indicating to a faded scar across the top of his arm. “That’s where I’d like it to go.”

“No worries.” Aaron placed the sketch over top of the scar and pressed down hard, leaving it there for several seconds before pulling the paper away. The ink had left a perfect imprint of an image of stitches holding together a seeping arm wound.

Evan glanced at it in the mirror and grinned again, his blue eyes lighting up. “That looks perfect! That’s exactly what I was looking for.”

Aaron laughed good-naturedly. “Hold on, now, we haven’t even started the tattoo yet. Take a seat right over here for me, will you?” He led Evan over to a tattoo station and Evan sank down onto a leather chair. Aaron took a seat beside him and pulled a pair of gloves over his hands before picking up a needle and inking it. “Okay, here we go. You ever been tattooed before, Evan?”

Evan grinned sheepishly. “Nope, this is my first time.”

Aaron laughed. “Nervous? Nothing to worry about, mate. You’ll be right, I promise. I got my first tattoo when I was seventeen and it didn’t hurt that much. Your skin goes kind of numb after awhile.”

Evan nodded and braced himself. Aaron lowered the needle and Evan bit his lip as he felt the needle drag across his skin.

“You right, mate?” Aaron asked.

“Fine,” Evan responded, letting out a shaky breath.

“So, Evan,” Aaron began, dipping his head so his eyes were level with Evan’s shoulder. “Tell me where the idea for this tattoo came from. I noticed the gnarly scar, how did that happen?”

“I got into an accident,” Evan replied automatically; he’d told this story many times before that the explanation came naturally to him. “A car accident – nearly three years ago now.” Aaron nodded slightly to show he was listening while he concentrated on his work. “Yeah,” Evan paused. “I still remember it vividly as if it only happened yesterday...”

Eighteen-year-old Evan bounded down the steps of his girlfriend, Kathy’s house, instantly being drenched by the pouring rain. He whooped in excitement and called out to Kathy. “Come on, Kath!” He had to yell to be heard above the rain and the pounding music coming from inside the house. Evan turned to face his girlfriend who stood at the top of the steps, an uncertain expression on her face. “Let’s go - beer run! We’re all out.”

Kathy, a petite brunette wearing a jacket slung around her shoulders shrugged at her boyfriend. “I don’t know,” she said hesitantly. “Evan, this isn’t such a good idea. You’ve been drinking and it’s pouring out here. Can’t we get someone else to do it? Someone who hasn’t been drinking?”

Evan laughed. “Oh, Kath, we’ll be fine. The store’s just down the road!” He ran up the stairs and grabbed Kathy gently by the arm, pulling her towards him. “It’ll be okay. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

They kissed briefly, Kathy inhaling the scent of Evan’s aftershave and immediately felt reassured. She was, after all, slightly tipsy herself. Her parents had gone away for the weekend and in school Kathy had announced having a perfect place for their friends to party that Friday night. It was after eleven, and she’d had a beer along with a shot of tequila, but given her small stature, she was already starting to feel buzzed.

“Okay,” she murmured against Evan’s lips. “Let’s go.”

Together the young couple descended the steps and got into Evan’s car. As soon as Evan pulled out of the driveway, the tires spun underneath the slick gravel and the car gave a sudden lurch forward, which neither Evan nor Kathy were expecting.

“Whoa!” Evan exclaimed, grasping the wheel tightly and quickly regaining control over the vehicle. He laughed and glanced at Kathy. “’s’alright, I got this.”

Kathy’s heart skipped a beat, but once the car straightened out, she relaxed somewhat and leaned into her boyfriend.

They’d only been on the road for a few minutes before another car approached them, its lights appearing through the rain pelting the windshield. It only took a few seconds but Evan panicked, trying to overtake the car and, as a result, lost total control of the vehicle.

“Shit, that’s insane,” Aaron breathed out, taking a moment to look over at Evan, noticing tears beginning to well up in the young man’s eyes.

Evan nodded, barely even feeling the needle anymore. “After that, everything just went black,” he continued. “The next thing I know, I feel this pain in my arm. Like, this excruciating pain I’ve never felt before. But I remember after realizing where I was and what must have happened, that I just started screaming out Kathy’s name. I didn’t care about anything else...I just needed to know she was alright.”

He took a moment to wipe away a tear which had begun to trail down his cheek. “I don’t remember much after that. I do remember waking up in hospital, though. The very next day, I was told. I had this shooting pain in my arm and look down and see these stitches.” Evan cringed at the memory. “The doctor told me I’d almost had my left arm completely ripped off in the accident.”

Aaron let out a low whistle.

“Apparently I’d swerved across into the other lane and the car that was in front of us hit the driver’s side dead on.” Evan’s eyes wandered across to the tattoo that was more than halfway done. It was looking amazing so far and he managed a small smile. “Kathy was fine, by the way,” he added quickly, before Aaron could ask. “She got out of it a lot better than I did – a concussion and a broken arm. It scared the shit out of me, though. When I couldn’t see her I seriously thought she’d...I’d...”

Evan clamped a hand across his mouth as the tears began to run down his cheeks and he stifled a pained cry. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he apologized quickly, shaking his head.

“It’s alright, mate,” Aaron said softly. He’d heard many stories in the six years he had been working at this particular parlor and knew how emotional most people became when they were re-telling the origins of their tattoos. The poor bloke nearly lost his girl, Aaron thought to himself, casting a quick glance at the younger man in front of him. I don’t blame him.

Evan took a deep breath to calm himself. “...I thought I’d lost Kathy for good. And if I had, I knew it was something I’d be living with for the rest of my life. I couldn’t bear it, I love that girl too damn much.”

Aaron nodded. “I can understand. I’ve been with my girl for nearly five years now. I’d be absolutely fucking torn up if something happened to her.”

Evan sighed. “I’ll bet. Anyway, ever since that night I’ve never again driven drunk. Never even thought about it, after the accident happened.” He shook his head. “I was young and stupid and I’ll never make that mistake again.” He took another peek at the tattoo. It was almost finished. “And so that’s why I chose to get this tattoo. It’s a symbol and constant reminder of that night – a cross to bear. My whole outlook on life changed the night of the accident and I’ll never forget it, especially now that I have the tattoo to show for it.”

Aaron smiled. He admired such courage and resilience in others. It was a trait he wished he had himself. “Okay,” he said, pulling away from Evan. “I think we’re all down here. Let’s take a look in the mirror, shall we?”

Evan quickly got up, anxious to view the full effect of his new tattoo. He’d waited three long years to get it; every time he’d tried, he would always talk himself out of it. But today was different. He’d finally gotten it done.

He broke out into a grin as soon as he saw it. “Oh my God,” he whispered. “It’s perfect! It looks just like the picture I drew!” His eyes sparkled as he noticed the amount of detail that had gone into creating it. Aaron had captured his drawing amazingly well; it was almost as if the image of the stitches were real. “I love it,” he breathed. “I just love it.”

Aaron couldn’t help but smile himself. “No worries. That tattoo tells an amazing story and I was just happy to be a part of it.” He genuinely meant it, too. This was the most rewarding part about his job – seeing the happy and smiling faces of his customers as they admired his work.

Evan turned toward Aaron. “Thank you,” he said, although words couldn’t begin to express his gratitude. “Thank you so much.”

“You’re very welcome, mate,” Aaron grinned, and wasn’t the slightest bit surprised when Evan pulled him into a hug. They embraced quickly before returning to the counter.

Evan was overwhelmed with happiness as he pulled out his wallet and handed over several bills to Aaron. As he slipped his wallet back into his pocket, his fingers closed around the small, velvet box inside and he grinned once again.

“Cheers, mate,” Aaron nodded. “Give my best to Kathy, will you? Sounds like you both went through a pretty rough time and it’s great to hear you’re still together.”

Evan grinned even more and gently squeezed the velvet box. “Definitely, I will. After all, today is going to be a brand new beginning to the rest of my life.”