Stickers Attack Face

I starred at the small sheet in front of me. These have to be the best things to ever be invented in the history of man!

I ran my fingers over the smooth, colorful shapes. God, they're so pretty!

Doesn't he remember what happened the last time I got my hands on some of these?

"Why are you giving me these?" I asked. "Are you retarded?"

"Baby!" he sighed. "I don't want you to be mad at me anymore."

"Well I should be! Your the retarded boyfriend that said that I was stupid and won't be able to pass my class!" I screamed. I was careful not to crumple the precious paper in my hands.

"Baby! It's an AP class! I barley passed it."

"You don't believe in me?" I pushed my bottom lip out a bit.

"Aw, baby." He softly kissed me.

I smiled and looked back down at the glossy paper. He must be retarded if he let me have these.

I looked up and smirked at him.

"Blake..." he warned, but I ignored him. I ripped off one of the stickers, tackled and pinned him to the bed with one of my hands, and shoved the sticker onto his face. Then I did it again and again.

I squealed, jumping off the bed. I still had three sheets left!! What to do, what to do?

"Mommy!" I screamed.

"Yes, sweetie?" she asked, then she saw them. "Danial! Why did you give him those?"

"Mommy, I demand that you take me to Alice's or I shall use three sheets on you!"

"In the car," she huffed.

"Yay!" I grabbed Danny's hand and tugged.

------

"Oh, well hello, my lovely gay children," Alice answered the door after I rang the doorbell, oh I don't know, about twenty- three million- gillion times!!

"Run!" Danny warned.

"Shut the fuck up, Danny!" I screamed and hit him across his head.

"What?" she asked confused.

"You heard me, run!" he screamed, waving his arms like a mad man.

"Why? Oh my God! How the fuck did he get those?"

She lunged for the recently revealed sheet, but I was too fast, 'cause I have serious mad skills, and dodged her greedy hand. This, of course, caused her to go flying face first into the closed door.

"Ow..." She rubbed her nose and forehead. "That fucking hurt!" She turned toward me when she heard me giggling at her pain. "Give me them now and I won't hurt you." She held out her hand towards me.

Psh, yeah, like she actually expected me to give up these babies willingly???

"Psh, as if, bitch," I scoffed.

"Then I shall take them by force! I'm sorry, sweetheart, but..." She lunged again, but, again, all she caught was air and a face full of carpet.

"Danny!" I screamed and ran to hide behind my precious boyfriend. "Don't let he do it! Please? I don't want her to rip up you beautifully amazing apology to me," I whimpered.

"You!" she hissed. "You gave him those wicked things?"

"I had to apologize! Unlike you, I need to get some ass tonight," he said.

"Oh, and you will, baby." I slowly ran my finger down his chest. "If you don't let her harm these precious stickers!"

He pouted and pointed to his lips. "Kiss?"

"Do the job, Danny," I ordered.

"Fine." He looked at Alice and crossed his arms. "Alice, don't. I said don't!!"

"Ah! NO! Bitch!" I screamed as she snatched up the pieces of paper that contained the always- magical stickers.

"Muhahaha!" Oh my God! Her fucking evil laugh is getting good. "Now, let us see how little Blake likes it when the tables are turned on you!"

I stopped and stared at her. "What? What the hell are you talking about?" I saw her look at Danny and nod. "What are you talking about!? Dan?" I looked at him.

"Sorry, babe," he simply stated.

"What?" Hands grasped my legs and arms. "Ah!"

"Into my car and hold him down!" Alice ordered Danny, him nodding and doing what he was told. What the fuck? He's my boyfriend, he should be helping me!

"What are y'all doing?" I struggled to get out of their grasp.

"You'll see," she said darkly.

------

"Let me go!" I screamed, pulling on my bindings. The had taken me back to my house and tied me to the bed!! And, of course, in my hour of need, my parents aren't home!

"Ever since you found out the wonders of stickers we have had to watch our back for..." ADD DRAMATIC PAUSE HERE "when the 'Stickers Attack Face'! And now I shall take our revenge!" She held up the stickers triumphantly. "Now then..."

She put sticker after sticker on my face until there were none left.

"There!" she said.

"Wow, big whoop," I said. "So, what?"

"Well... There's stickers on your face, bitch!" And then she ran out.

"Now that that is over." Danny got up swaying his hips sexily. "You own me some hot makeup sex and I think that we should take advantage of this position." He straddled me.

I giggled softly. Yeah, attacking people's faces with stickers is fun, but Danny totally beats the shit out of that!!