Pieces of Truth

[Grace]

After the guys and I went up to the room, they explained where they were and so I had to tell them why I went off alone. Mike and Tre sat watching the TV while Billie Joe and I talked quietly.

"I wanted it to be a surprise," I said in a sheepish voice as I laid under the covers of the unusually soft bed.

"Yeah, but you shouldn't have told us you'd be right back when you knew you weren't," Billie told me in a mature voice, which shocked me. I simply nodded, feeling like a child that he had to watch rather than a consenting adult.

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again," I muttered.

"Hey, don't make yourself feel bad," he said, a small smirk on his face as he hovered over me, "I love your tattoo, but I wish you had taken me with you though! I woulda held your hand! I just never thought you wanted one."

"I thought it suited me," I shrugged, trying to keep the grin off of my lips.

"It definitely does," he said, leaning down and giving me a quick kiss.

"I hope you had a good birthday.." Billie let out between kisses and I nodded, wrapping my arms around his neck, flinching as my new body art brushed against him.

"Guys, come on. Fuck when we're not here," Mike groaned, turning the TV up louder.

"Do you not see the bedsheets separating us?" Billie said in a frustrated tone, "Let's get those out of the way.."

"I'm not going to put on a show for them!" I yelped, pulling them back.

"Oh, please do!" Tre said eagerly, making me roll my eyes and throw a pillow at him.

The next morning when I woke up, Billie and I were alone in the hotel room.

"Beej," I said quietly, shaking him gently.

"Hmm, what?" he asked, opening his eyes slowly; he was still tired.

"Mike and Tre aren't here. Want me to go down to the breakfast bar and get some stuff?" I asked and he nodded as he yawned.

"Please?" he smiled, watching me get up.

"Creep!" I laughed, throwing a pillow to distract him so I could go change and brush my teeth before heading down to get food.

When I got back Billie wasn't in bed, but the bathroom door was closed. I set the food on the bed, then went over to the bathroom, about to knock when I heard I recognized as his distinct moan.

'What the fuck?' I thought, backing away and high-tailing it out of the room.

I walked down to the pool, only to find Tre and Mike chilling in the hot tub.

"Hey guys," I greeted, sitting on the edge and slipping my feet in.

"Grace, you're supposed to be with Bill! That's why we're down here," Tre told me.

"Sorry, I didn't know," I laughed, "I went to get some breakfast, and when I went back he was in the bathroom.. I heard him moaning and stuff so I came down here."

"You shoulda walked in and you would have caught him jacking off," Tre said before he cracked up laughing, "It would have ruined his concentration."

"Ew," I cringed, "I don't need to see that boy pleasuring himself."

"Yeah, but you certainly don't mind doing it for him," Mike said, ganging up on me with Tre.

"Hey! Don't even! Billie and I haven't done anything like that in years," I retaliated.

"Which is why he's up in the bathroom going blind," Tre shot back, making me feel kind of bad.

"I'm gonna go see if he's done," I sighed, getting up and shaking my feet at Tre before going back up to the room.

I knocked on the door since I didn't bring the key, and Billie opened it wearing a towel around his waist, fresh out of the shower.

"Where did you disappear to?" he asked as I entered the room.

"Oh, I went to the pool. How was your shower?"

"Uh it was cleansing? I don't know.. What do you want me to say?"

I shrugged, sitting on the bed and peeling the orange I had brought up.

"Grace," he said with a warning tone, standing in front of me and gently grabbing my chin, making me look up. I didn't want to look him in the eye, so I looked anywhere else.

"What's wrong with you? Disappearing randomly, lying about where you're going and what you're doing.. I'm starting to think you don't want to be here," Billie accused, and I couldn't help but flinch a little.

"It's not that.. And I only lied and disappeared once to get a tattoo of your name on my body. You should really let it go."

"Then what is it?"

"Why were you whacking off in the bathroom after I left to get breakfast?" I blurted and I saw Billie's body go rigid.

"I-uh-I didn't know you.." he stammered.

"I heard you when I came back, so I went to the pool," I told him, pulling my head away from his hand.

"Well.. I woke up with it and when you left, yeah," he tried to explain.

"Are you frustrated that we're not doing enough?" I asked, watching him walk away and grab some clothes from his bag.

"Billie Joe?" I called, but he continued to change into his clothes, then hung his towel up.

"Answer me, I won't be mad," I told him, staring him down from my spot on the bed.

"Yeah, I am, alright? I hate not being on that physical level with you anymore. I get that you want to go at a slower pace than we did, but I'm a guy.."

"And you have needs, I know. Sorry. Forget I even heard you moaning and groaning in the bathroom, it's no big deal," I told him in a calm, simple tone, laying back on the bed.

"Hey, I didn't mean to guilt you," Billie said, "We have to get back on the road soon.."

"Okay, I'm gonna go put my crap on the bus.. Maybe I'll buy a post card from the gift shop and mail it to my dad," I said more to myself, getting up and grabbing my stuff, leaving without another word.

I wrote a little note to my dad on the post card I bought, got a stamp and put it in the mail, then put my bag on the bus, sitting at the kitchen table and staring out the window- I knew I'd be spending a lot of the day on the bus, so I got off and stood out in the strange Texas wind.

As I people-watched, I couldn't help but feel like this was some sort of sign. Maybe I wasn't cut out to tour right now. A lot has happened, and just throwing myself into a situation like this where I'm constantly with Tre, Billie and Mike probably wasn't wise. All I did was cause Billie Joe grief and worry.. I had to talk to someone. Where was Tre when I needed him?

I got Tre alone in the lobby before we left, and I asked for his honest opinion on the whole thing.

"Well, you seem to be a little self-destructive but I think it's because this is your first tour. We were ridiculously wild on our first one, and now we know our limits. You're testing your boundaries," Tre told me sincerely.

"But what about the whole thing with Billie?" I asked.

"I have no idea, Gracie. He has good intentions, I know he does and you do too. Maybe they're not coming off the right way? He wants to keep you safe, but he can't when you just go off by yourself randomly. I know it's a part of being in new places, exploring and shit. How about you explore together? And with the whole no sex thing.. If you don't want to, don't. I know BJ will kill me for saying this... If you're not ready, make sure it's clear to him."

"I fucking love your advice, Tre," I grinned, giving him a huge hug.

"Now let's get on the road!"

As we drove through the Midwest, the guys played shows and I tried my best to be good. I would have a few beers with them, then I'd stop before getting crazy. Despite how hard I tried, I still wanted to test my boundaries.

By the time we got to Miami, I couldn't hold myself back anymore.

We were at a club after a pretty awesome gig and I was throwing down liquor like it was water.
Billie Joe and Mike had disappeared to do something, so it was just me and Tre.

"Dude, you need to slow the fuck down," Tre told me, a look of bewilderment on his face as I shook my head.

"Don't tell me what to do." I picked up my drink, walking away when Tre had turned back to the bar. I danced and drank until I somehow ended up on top of a table with some chick dancing like it was no big deal, only to be helped down not long after.

"Oh, hey Billie," I slurred, taking a swing of the beer some guy bought me.

Billie took my hand and led me out into the humid Miami night, not phased by the fact that I was stumbling the whole time behind him then trying to stand still when we had finally stopped.