Pieces of Truth

I knew that my snide remark had hurt Billie even before I said it.

"You know I'm not Two Dollar Bill anymore," he tried to tell me.

"Sure, sure. Just leave," I rolled my eyes as I opened the front door.

"Ok, fine. I hope you come to your senses before we leave for the tour though. Bye."

With that, Billie walked out the open door and left without another glance.

It annoyed me that he didn't care that I wasn't keen on being around drugs. Even if Jeff was irresponsible, he was addicted to hardcore drugs and would have stopped at nothing to get them before rehab. Then when he was clean, he was killed over money he was trying to pay back. This just frustrated me beyond belief, because he was obviously trying to turn his life around. Maybe Billie just didn't get it.

I decided that today I would go through all of the things my brother had left behind at home. When I went into his room, I felt confident about it but that quickly changed as I sat on his bed, petting Chuck. The poor dog was almost thirteen years old and I could tell that he was lonely. As I opened the closet door, I took one look inside then went and grabbed the phone.

"Hello?" a woman's voice answered.

"Hi, is Billie Joe there?" I asked, trying to keep calm.

"I'm sorry, he can't come to the phone right now. Can I take a message?"

"No, that's okay. Thanks." I hung up, hurling the phone down on my brother's bed.

Rummaging around through the closet, I found what I had been searching for. Tucked away were a bunch of pills, and with a shrug I sat at the desk to see what they were and which would do the most to take my mind off of things.

Then I realized just what I was doing.

I went into the bathroom and flushed the pills down the toilet, feeling like I needed to get out of the house so I drove to Telegraph Avenue.

My coworkers were surprised to see me on my day off, but I told them that I was looking to pick up an extra shift as soon as possible so they let me.

I immersed myself in shelving CDs, cassettes and vinyl, which somehow eased my mind. A few hours later I was done shelving, but I had moved onto re-alphabetizing everything, starting in Blues and making my way to Rock.

"Grace, you've been here for five hours, organizing nonstop," my coworker, Ross, told me, "I heard about your brother and I'm sorry."

"Thanks," I shrugged, "I'm dealing."

"That's the thing. You're dealing in this obsessive, compulsive, organizing way. It's not healthy," Ross said, a sincere tone in his voice.

"I guess.. But what am I supposed to do instead?" I asked, feeling lost.

"Talk to someone! Get what you're thinking out into the open," he advised.

"Okay... Can I take off then?"

"Yeah, just clock out," Ross nodded.

"Thanks," I smiled, going to clock out and leaving Amoeba.

Unsure of what to do next, I walked down the street. Slipping on my sunglasses, I window shopped until I finally saw something that caught my eye; Billie Joe and a woman were in Blake's on Telegraph, enjoying some dinner.

She seemed familiar, but I couldn't figure out exactly how I knew her. I had barely been looking through the window for a few seconds before I saw Billie get up and head for the door.

Quickly, I darted into Rasputin's music store, walking out when I thought the coast would be clear. Well, I was pretty off with my timing, because Billie was leaning against the wall of Blake's, smoking a cigarette.
Not knowing what I should do, I casually walked by and hoped he would ignore me.

"Grace, stop right there," he said sharply, halting me in my tracks, making me turn to face him.

"Hey.." I greeted.

"What were you doing in Rasputin's?"

"Checking out the competition. I just got off at Amoeba."

"I thought you didn't have to work today.."

Even though he had sunglasses on, I knew he was eying me suspiciously.

"I picked up an extra shift," I explained.

"Why?" he asked.

"Do I really need a reason? I need the cash," I defended myself.

"Don't lie." I could tell he didn't buy it.

"Fine. I went to Dad's to sort Jeff's stuff. I got overwhelmed."

"And?" he prodded, taking a long drag from his half finished cigarette.

"I called you but no one answered so I went to work to get my mind off things," I only sort of lied.

"Sorry I didn't hear the phone," he apologized, "I was messing with some recording stuff in the basement.. Otherwise I would have been with you!"

"Uh-huh," I nodded, brushing it off.

"I heard what you recorded for me the other night. It was beautiful," Billie complimented, trying to get on my good side, "I'm really glad you left it for me."

"Well.. Yeah. Thanks," I felt my cheeks burning.

"Especially when you'd catch yourself on a mistake and giggle. I dunno, but it just made me smile too."

"I'm happy you liked it," I said with a shrug, watching him finish off the cigarette and put it out.

"Hey, wanna come join us for dinner?" Billie asked, pointing back to Blake's.

"Us?" I asked, trying to sound confused.

"Yeah, my friend is in town till tomorrow night. We've been catching up!" He sounded enthusiastic, so I agreed.

He took my hand, leading me inside and to the table where I saw the girl looking impatient. Billie pulled up a chair for me and we sat.

"Hi, I'm Grace," I introduced myself politely, reaching to shake her hand and she accepted.

This girl was pretty small, maybe 5'4" with short, brown hair and expressive eyes to match. She had a cute smile and it bothered me that I couldn't place her to save my life.

"Winona. So you're the one that has to put up with Billie twenty-four, seven?" she asked with a laugh.

"I guess you could say that," I smiled, now knowing exactly who she was.

Billie had told me about his friendship with Winona Ryder and she seemed to be cool.

"You sound really familiar," she mused, "I think we spoke on the phone earlier today. You asked for him and didn't want to leave a message."

"But you said no one answered," Billie said to me under his breath.

"Well yeah.. I didn't know Winona was the one I talked to," I told him.

We all ate and talked, and it turned out that Winona and I really clicked.

"So Grace.. You're too cool and gorgeous to be dating this punk," Winona told me, seeming quite serious,
"How did he manage to hook you?"

"He may seem like a punk, but he gets how I operate.. And he's my best friend," I smiled, trying to make him feel uncomfortable.

"Awh, how cute! I bet our little Baby Joe feels the same way," Winona went along, picking up on my motive.

"Am I gonna have to go fuck some shit up? I'm a punk rocker not a puppy," Billie groaned, now embarrassed beyond belief.

"Does someone not want their true colours to come through?" I giggled, "He would die if anyone knew how sweet and loving he is toward me."

"It would ruin his whole 'angsty, Bay-area punk kid' persona!" Winona agreed.

"I'm not angsty!" Billie argued, earning skeptical looks from the both of us.

"You two are freaking me out, seriously. I'm gonna go take a leak," he said, getting up and heading off.

When he was out of sight, Winona smiled.

"He's such a baby! Can't take any jokes, can he?" she asked.

"Usually he's all for it! Maybe we're too good for him," I laughed.

"Definitely. I don't think he'll be letting us hang out again.."

"Oh, you know I won't," Billie interrupted, sitting back down beside me.

When dinner finished, we said our goodbyes and Winona told me to call her anytime, which I would definitely keep in mind.

Once she left, Billie and I perused Telegraph.

"So you really think I'm just some whiny, angsty kid in a band?" he asked almost hesitantly.

"Not at all! You're a great musician and I wouldn't have you any other way. Winona and I were just messing with you," I smiled, pushing him playfully.

"Good, cause I wasn't about to put up with your abuse," he said in a semi-serious, somewhat joking voice, shoving me back.

This continued to escalate until Billie ended up pushing me into a trash can.

"God damn!" I yelped, hoisting myself off of the ground.

"Sorry Gray," he apologized, now beet red.

"You're a douchebag, BJ," I sneered, punching his arm as hard as I could.

"Oww," he mumbled.

"Wuss," I laughed as I kissed his shoulder and grabbed his hand, continuing on our walk.