You Were the Umbrella in My Rain

It was only a drizzle of rain when Brendon Urie walked out into the cool night of the summer. He didn’t bother pulling up his hood when he stepped out of the tour bus. As he was walking to a park that was a short ways away, he tried to make sense of what he saw inside. The broken glass, used condoms, some blood, empty beer cans, Jon Walker, and Ryan Ross all led to one thing. Damn those two to hell, Brendon thought quickening his pace as he tried to clear his thoughts. I was only gone for a day and this is what happens. I see how it is.

When Brendon reached the park, he came across a swing set and sat down on it although it was wet. Swinging slowly back and forth in a rhythmic pace, Brendon always found this calming presence whenever he was on a swing set. Up high with his feet in the air then going down with his leg bent against the swing he swung. Brendon found all this soothing to him because it brought back memories of him and Ryan.

“Brendon are you okay?” a concerned Ryan Ross asked looking into Brendon’s eyes.

“Yes, I’m totally fine,” Brendon replied mockingly, looking back at Ryan who was sitting on top of him, “I mean we aren’t two teenage boys sitting on a swing set looking like we’re having sex are we?”

Ryan giggled kicking the ground as the swing went higher into the sky, “That means I would be top and you’d be bottom, right?”

“Dude! That’s not funny. I haven’t even had my first kiss yet, and you’re already talking about sex?” Brendon retorted angrily pretending to push Ryan off his lap.

That only made the older one laugh more. “You’re the one that mentioned it first.”

“I was only saying what the other people around us were probably thinking.”

Ryan looked around the park but so no one except an elderly lady on a bench feeding some birds. “Yup, there sure are a lot of people.”

Brendon blushed, “Just shut up Ryan. You can be soooo annoying sometimes.”

“And you act soooo gay sometimes.” Ryan jeered at him.

“And you can be a complete ass at times.” Brendon said sighing.

Ryan pouted, “I’m sorry Brenny Bear. I don’t mean to be an ass to you most of the time.”

An awkward silence passed between the two before Ryan spoke again, “You know, I could make it up to you.”

“Huh?” Brendon asked confused.

Ryan leaned forward towards Brendon, tilted his head, and kissed him. At first, Brendon was shocked and didn’t react. Realizing that the other boy wasn’t fooling around, he leaned in somewhat eagerly into the kiss. Ryan pressed his tongue to the bottom of Brendon’s lip; Brendon complied by opening his mouth enough to let Ryan’s tongue in and with his own tongue intertwined around Ryan’s. Ryan took his hands and wrapped them around Brendon’s neck. Not wanting either of them to fall off the moving swing, Brendon squeezed the swing set handles harder.

Brendon was the first one to pull back for a breath. Panting he looked Ryan in the eyes and asked, “What was that all about?”

Ryan smirked, “You liked it. Besides, now we can have sex because you’ve had your first kiss.”

The rain started coming down harder when Brendon noticed somebody in the distance coming towards him. Immediately knowing who it was, Brendon stayed on the swing but didn’t swing. He knew that the older man would enjoy playing hard to get, but if he ignored him, he would be annoyed. The figure started quickening his pace when he realized that it was Brendon on the swing.

Brendon was staring at the ground when he saw a pair of feet stop in front of him. He didn’t look up even as the man spoke, “Brendon I know you’re mad at me but what you saw in the bus wasn’t the way it happened.”

Brendon was still quite as the man kept talking, “While you and Spencer were gone, Jon and I had a few drinks. There was nothing else going on. Are you even listening?” He asked getting slightly frustrated with Brendon's ignorance.

Taking a deep breath he continued, “We only got it from these two people that were drinking with us. The crack, I mean. They did it Jon and I didn’t d-.“

At this point, Brendon stood up and slapped the man. For the first time tonight, he got a good look at the person standing before him. His chocolate brown hair unkempt and greasy, his round eyes puffy, the tip of his nose glowing red, his right cheek now red with an outline of a hand mark, and his entire face was practically lifeless. This was not the George Ryan Ross that Brendon knew and loved.

“You took drugs? You took drugs?” Brendon repeated.

“No! You didn’t let me finish Brendon.” Ryan said quickly avoiding Brendon's accusing glare as he touched his stinging cheek gently. "We didn't take any drugs it was the girls that came over that bro-," he stopped mid sentence but Brendon had already him.

Brendon clenched his fist trying not to let the anger in his voice show before speaking, "Girls, Ryan? What were they doing with you hmm? I presume they weren't just friends."

Ryan was quite, thinking of a good excuse to get him out of the situation, but after a while, he thought of none.

He muttered, "I mean I didn't mean for it to happen the way it did. I mean it was Jon's idea to have them over and stuff...."

Brendon couldn't contain the anger any longer, "So you not only did drugs and drink an excessive amount of alcohol, but you also fucked another person, a woman to be at that!"

Ryan opened his mouth to retort back but closed his mouth hanging his head down knowing it was no use.

An awkward silence passed between the two before Brendon spoke up again except in a quieter voice, "First you were talking about leaving the band then this shit happens. Do I mean anything to you Ryan? Anything at all?" he felt the tears welling up in his eyes, "I loved you Ryan I really did."

Biting his lip, Ryan didn't know what to say. He could've said everything was a mistake and how he loved Brendon as much as he had used to but that would've been more built up lies. He sighed in defeat and that's when Brendon started to cry.

Covering his face with his hands, Brendon cried standing there with absolutely no movement coming from Ryan. He didn't even attempt to comfort him. He just stood there and stared at the crying man.

After a moment of sobbing and sniffling, Brendon stopped crying. He was still disappointed, but now he was angry again.

"Ryan, I'm breaking up with you," he whispered, afraid of what would happen. "I wish this could've happened any other way but this, however if this is the way it has to end, then so be it."

Ryan wasn't expecting Brendon to break up with him. He was expecting him to say it was okay as long as he didn't do it again. No. He was expecting this. Maybe he had wanted this for it to happen. Ryan, confused, just didn't know anymore.

"I'm sad that you broke up with me Brendon, but I loved you. I think I still do, but in a way, I think I've given up on everything I have at this moment." Ryan replied, looking into Brendon's, once again, tear filled eyes.

"Are you trying to say that..." Brendon couldn't finish the thought that crossed his mind.

"I'm quitting the band." Ran stated bluntly, not looking at Brendon directly anymore but down at his feet.

Brendon stared at him in disbelief. First he broke up with his boyfriend but now this. Brendon couldn't take the pain anymore.

"Fuck you George Ryan Ross," Brendon bellowed not meaning what he said but not caring at the moment. "I hope you fucking burn in the deepest pits of hell and you're new life is just fucked up." He then walked past Ryan; their shoulders brushed lightly, probably making it the last time they would come in contact with one another.

Ryan, half-stunned and half-sorrowful, once again, made absolutely no movement towards Brendon. He dropped to his knees, his jeans splashing in the mud, some onto his face, but he didn't care. He had let his boyfriend slip away with the one night. No, it wasn't just one time. It was all the times before that. When he had rejected his date with Brendon so he could go out drinking with some girls, when he had stopped coming to band practices making his own music, and when he started to smoke pot because his friend said it was amazing, that's where it all started.

The rain started to pour by the time Brendon got back to the tour bus. Looking back, he didn't see anyone coming towards the bus as he closed the door behind him. He then wiped off any tears that had fallen while he was walking back. Sighing and putting on a fake smile, he tried to forget how Ryan had made him cry for the first time.