Sinful

This feeling of nerves came out of nowhere as Jayden pulled into the parking lot of the club. I looked over at my boyfriend and forced a fake smile just for his sake. Inside I was dreading entering this place, inside I knew something was going to go wrong but I couldn't name what. He turned off the engine, and stuck the car keys in his pocket before unbuckling his seat belt. I watched his every action and thought to myself, does he do all these things normally? We came to this club once every month, the friends we made at this club understood us, but they also understood that we would never be able to speak outside of here.

I got out of the car and walked over to Jayden who waited patiently for me by the end of the car. I smiled at him as I kissed his cheek and grabbed his hand, lacing our fingers together. As we waited in line we talked and joked, occasionally kissing each other. Finally we got to the front of the line as we joked with our regular doorman who didn't feel the need to card us. He drew the big 'X' on our hands and let us in with a kind smile and a soft whisper for us to enjoy the night.

My ears started to ring the minuet we walked into the club, the music was so loud I had to scream at my boyfriend who was right next to me. Jayden screamed back at me but his words fell deaf upon me. I scanned the club for our closed friends and some new friends we made last month. I pulled on Jayden's as I noticed Keith's vibrant red hair, and Matthews long black hair. As we got closer I could hear Keith screaming and Matt about the prices of water in this god forsaken club.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you not to use God's name in vain, Keith?" I asked as I attacked him with a hug.

"Oh shush you." He said. His brown eyes lined with too much eyeliner, as he smiled showing off his perfect teeth. Keith went over and hugged Jayden, giving him a little kiss on the cheek. I faked a glare at him and protectively threw my arm around him. Keith smiled and turned around and ordered his water, while Matthew came over and hugged us both.

"I'm so glad you could make it tonight. Keith's been driving me crazy about his two favorite Christian boys all week long." Keith said, making Jayden burst into laughter. In this club Jayden and I both felt alive, we both felt free and there isn't a better feeling than that. We waited for Keith to join us for a little awhile before he went boyfriend hunting again.

Keith came over with a beer in his hand and started to grind up against Matt, who just pushed him off him. "How did you manage to score that you little freak?" Matt asked.

"The bartender thinks I'm cute enough to let me have a free beer."

"I think the bartender must have been sipping on the bottle, I don't know where he sees the cuteness." Jay joked. I laughed and playfully hit his shoulders, while Keith brought his free hand to his chest and pouted.

"That hurt right here," He said, pointing to his heart. "Right here Jay-baby." He laughed and kissed Jayden on the cheek, before chasing some guy on the other side of the club.

"Sometimes I forget how gay Keith really is." Matt joked. Matt moved his long hair back out of his face, and smiled at us. His hazel eyes popped out against his pale complexion, as did his black hair. Matthew proudly showed us his engagement ring to his girlfriend of three years. She was gorgeous in every which way possible. She looked a looked like Barbie doll but the rock version. Matthew came to the gay bars only because of Keith, who was his brother.

After congratulating Matthew on his engagement and wishing him the best of luck, Jayden dragged me out to the dance floor. We danced almost all night, while keeping an eye for Keith while Matthew talked with the bartender who had given his nineteen year old brother a beer. That little bundle of nerves went away as the night drew longer, the more I focused on my boyfriend and how adorable he looked while the sweat dripped down his face, the less I felt those nerves in the pit of my stomach. Jayden's once 'faux hawked' hair was nothing but a mess now, it was drenched in sweat and a part of still was spiked. It looked like he had done it on purpose.

After dancing for hours upon hours Jayden and I took a break and walked over to Matt, who was talking with some girl. "Baby I have to go to the bathroom, get me a water please." Jayden said, kissing my lips softly and walking away. I walked over to bartender and asked for two waters, I paid him and over to Matthew while striking up a conversation with him. The girl he was talking with looked so familiar, I knew I'd seen her before but I couldn't place where. I waved and yelled a hello while I cracked open my water, before I could even get a sip Jayden took the water out of my hand and drank all the water in less than two seconds.

"Jayden you jerk I was going to drink that." I said, pushing him away. He came back and wrapped his arms around my waist, nibbling on my neck and kissing my cheek. He placed his hands on my hip and moved our bodies in sync with the rhythm to the song, while he whispered sweet nothings in my ear. I opened the other bottle and drank a little before giving the rest to Jayden.

"Thank you baby." He said, kissing my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back, moving my lips in sync with his. We lost ourselves in the kiss as his tongue traced my bottom lip, begging for entrance. I granted his wish and wrapped my tongue around his, as we kissed harder moving our bodies to the beat of the music.

"Jayden Aguilar?" The girl who was talking with Matthew asked. I didn't bother to break apart from the kiss, I didn't think twice about pulling away from the only thing that gave me comfort. I heard Matthew telling the girl that it was no use, once we started there was no stopping us.

It didn't take more than two seconds after she uttered his name for Jayden to pull apart from the kiss and drag us into the crowded dance area. He kept looking to make sure the person hadn't followed us into the crowd. I tried to pull my boyfriend into a hug but he pushed me away and gave me a look that said it all. We only used that look when someone who lived in our town was near us and the other didn't realize it. It was look from hell, it was a look that put the feeling of nerves back into my stomach.

"Who was that?"

"I don't know, but it sounded like Alyssa Monroe. I'm not going to take a chance and go back just to see if it was her or not. I can't risk blowing our secret, I'm sorry Evan but I can't risk that right now." He said, even though the music was still blaring and my ears were ringing, I could still hear Jayden's voice crack. I pulled him into a hug as I felt his body shake with a sob. I held onto my boyfriend tight as he cried into my shoulder as I tried my hardest to hold my back my own tears.

"Shh baby it's okay. Go wait for me outside, I'll go tell Matthew bye for you." He hugged me tight as I wiped away his tears. He pecked my temple and walked away but not before running into Keith, who I could imagine was drilling my boyfriend about his tear stained cheeks.

I walked over to Matt and saw that girl still standing next to him. "Matt we're gonna head off. Jay isn't feeling to well, I think it's the heat."

"Oh. Well tell him I hope he gets better, we'll see you next month Ev."

I hugged him goodbye and was walking away when I felt someone grab my arm and pull me back. "Wait you aren't Evan Brooks are you?" She asked.

"Who?" I asked, trying to play dumb.

"Evan Brooks? I'm Alyssa Monroe, I'm on the cheer team at your high school you're our star quarterback right?" She asked, trying to stare me in the eyes. I looked at the floor the whole time and shrugged her arm off me. That tight bundle of nerves was locked in the pit of my stomach. I could feel the sweat forming and my face felt like it was on fire, how could I have not recognized her. Before I could even think of an answer I took off and lost myself in the crowd, looking over my shoulder to make sure Alyssa hadn't followed me. I ran out of the club and straight to Jayden's car, and broke down in tears.

"Baby what's wrong?" Jay asked.

"She knows it was us, she knows." It was all I could repeat. It was like our world had crashed down around us, and we were left in hell. No amount of words could ever describe the feeling I felt right then.