You Changed My Life Kid.

The tour was going smoothly. Leila was having the time of her life. And with her being happy and healthy I was happy. The pictures I sent to my phone everyday were amusing to look at. Our first stop was in Washington state. I have pictures of her napping with Jimmy backstage. Lily snapped pictures of her dancing around backstage as we played. Leila kept everyone laughing and smiling.

For Leila’s birthday, we were in New York. We were doing a show at a smaller Venue so I thought it be okay to bring her out. Lily has had to keep her running out on stage so many times. We dressed Leila in jeans, little chucks and one of our band tees. She looked so cute. Leila had curled her hair into soft curls and she looked so beautiful, that when I seen her before going on stage it brought a tear to my eye. She was only three but she was growing to fast for me.

Half way threw, one song like we arranged, Lily was going to let Leila run out to me and Brian as we did our signature move which was when we played back to back. They were set up on my side of the stage. I smiled when lily gave her a little push and she came running over to me, Matt turned around we had stopped playing. Oh and if you are all wondering she has costume made ear plugs in. Their her favorite color, purple.

“Oh looky what we’ve found!” Matt said excitedly into the microphone. He picks her up. She smiles at him and kisses his cheek. The crowd awes. “Hey Leila should we tell everyone what today is?” she nodded. “Can you say it?” being shy she shook her head no.

“Aww Lei-Lei why not?” Brian asked from his microphone. He started her Lei-Lei so now we all do. She hid her face in Matt’s shoulder.

“Okay, well today is Leila’s third birthday.” Matt said. The crowd cheered. “Leila where’s daddy?” Matt asked. She pointed at me. “That’s right. This little beauty belongs to Zacky.” I bounced over making her laugh and we did our little bunny kisses.

“Leila can we sing you happy birthday?” Jimmy asked. She nodded. We had sung it to her earlier today and she loved it.

“Do you want all of them to sing along too?” Matt asked. Leila nodded excited. “Okay on the count of three…” he said. “One, two, three.” Brian and I started playing happy birthday on our guitars as the whole place started singing to her. Lily came out on stage with a cupcake that had a candle. Leila clapped excitedly. She was so adorable. My heart raced. When we finished Matt told her to make a wish. She closed her eyes then blew out the candle. Lily then took her off the stage after getting kisses and hugs from everyone and a huge bye from the crowd.

When our set was over, I handed my guitar over to the tech because the night was over and I went to find Lily and Leila. I knew they’d be on the bus. I rushed outside down the steps and on to the bus. Leila was playing with some of her new toys she got. She was dressed for bed, her hair wet. She looked up and came running over to me.

“Love you daddy.” she said. It was her first time really saying a whole sentence on her own. I was so proud of her. I hugged her to my body.

“I love you too my angel.” I let her stay up a little longer that night. So after my shower and I changed into a pair of pajama pants and a tee shirt, Leila and I curled up in our bunk and I read her a story. She was snuggled into my side like normal listening to the story. Pointing every now and then at a picture, asking what it was. I’d tell her, she’d repeat it the best she could then I’d continue with the story.

Once asleep, I went out into the main area to help clean up from the party we threw for her. Pizza boxes were stacked hip high, there was frosting from her cake all over the table. We weren’t moving yet so I had time to threw most of the garbage away. Lily came on the bus after going back into the venue to make sure she’d hadn’t left anything important in there. I was picking up Leila’s toy, and she joined me.

“She had a good day today don’t you think?” Lily asked. I looked up at her.

“Yea, she was really happy. I’m happy she had fun.” I said. She nodded.

“It must be hard on you to watch her grow right in front of you?” she asked.

“Yea, but it’s the normal pains of being a parent, I guess. And I missed so much already because I didn’t even know about her until after she had turned two. I mean a lot happens in those two years.” I said. As I said that it really did hit me how much I had missed. First smile, first steps, first words, first tooth. And it hurt to think that there was nothing I could do about it.

“Ever think about dating?” she asked.

“Not right now, I’m still trying to get used to be a parent. And I don’t want to introduce anyone to Leila who I’m not 100% sure will always be there for her. Especially right now.” I said.

“That’s reasonable.” she said.

“I was worried about you. But you’re a good person and I have a feeling you’ll be part of mine and Leila’s life for a long time.” I said. I seen her blush and smile at what I said and my heart did something it hadn’t done since the time I knew I was in love with Mary-Lynn. My heart skipped a beat.