Live For Music

We say good bye and I hang up the phone and notify the nurse she’ll be arriving in ten minutes. I tell her I’m running to my locker and get my things and walk out. I walk to my locker and grab my sweater and my book bag and close my locker and walk back to the nurse to wait. Maybe I have the flu and I’ll have to miss a week of school, get behind on my homework, fail senior year and have to graduate next year. That way I won’t have to graduate this year. The sick feeling comes back. I shouldn’t even think of it. I wait in the nurse’s office until my mother arrives and signs me out. I walk out of school with her and once we get in the car, she starts questioning me.

“Are you okay, honey?”

“I threw up. I think I’m okay. I don’t think I have the flu.”

“I heard it’s been going around. I hope you don’t have it either. Because then I’ll get it and your father will get it, and you know how he is when he’s sick.” She gave me a look that made me giggle because she is right. When my dad gets sick, it’s like the end of the world.

“Yeah, that’s true.” I reply.

“So, graduation is coming up. Aren’t you excited?” She smiles.

“It’s kind of a sore subject, mom.”

“Aw, why? It should be fun!”

“I don’t wanna graduate. I don’t know what I wanna do in life and I’m just super nervous about everything.”

“Is that why you threw up today?”

“I think so.”

“Maybe you should get a girlfriend. I read in a magazine that sex is a great stress reliever and-”

“MOM!” I yelled. “I seriously do not want to talk to you about that!”

“What? I’m trying to help. Plus, you’re starting to scare me. It’s been how long since you’ve had a girlfriend and I think you need a good night out.”

“This discussion is over.”

“Stephen, what’s so bad about talking to your parents about sex? Everyone does it. It’s a fact of life.”

“It’s a private thing that I choose to keep to myself, mom.”

“Fine, but just remember what I told you about relieving stress. It might help out a lot.”

“Plus, what kid of girl would wanna date me? I’m ugly.”

“Stephen, don’t you talk like that! You’re a very good-looking boy. I’m sure there’s that shy senior girl that has a secret crush on you but she’s too scared to confront you. Your eyes are your best physical appearance.”

“That’s great. Well if there is that shy girl in my school then she needs to hurry up because I’m freaking out and panicking.”

“Just take deep breaths and picture that perfect girl in your mind. Focus on her and maybe that’ll help out a bit.”

“Yeah,” I reply.

For some reason, after she said that, my best friend Holly popped into my head first. But I don’t even like her like that. Maybe there’s something deep down inside that I haven’t discovered yet. What if I don’t like girls anymore? How would that turn out? Coming home from school and telling my mom I’ve decided to date guys. I don’t think that would go over too well.

We arrive home and my mother pulls into the driveway. I grab my book bag and carry it into the house, holding the door open for her behind me. She thanks me and I nod. I drop my book bag next to the door and check the time on my phone. Only a half hour left until school lets out. Then I’m gonna call Holly and try to figure this out. But what should I do until then? I decide to chill up in my room and listen to music. I don’t realize I doze off until my mom knocks on the door. I get up and open it and she hands the phone to me.

“It’s Holly.” She whispers and I take the phone and hold back a smile.

“Hey, Holly,” I say.

“Stephen, this is horrible!” She cries and starts sobbing.

“Whoa, whoa, what’s wrong?” I ask.

“Daniel cheated on me! After the seven months we’ve been together and that scum lord cheats on me!” She cries.

“I’m sorry,” Is all I can say. “Would you like to come over so we can talk?”

“Yeah, let me out on my shoes and I’ll be right over.”

“Okay, see you soon.” I say and hang up. I feel bad but I’m thinking maybe this is my chance. Dan cheats on her and I welcome her with open arms. Maybe I’ll learn to like her like that.

I walk down that stairs and put the phone back on the hook. My mother walks past me and asks me what the conversation was about.

“Her boyfriend cheated on her so I invited her over so we could talk.”

My mother gave me ‘the look’ and said, “Just remember what I told you.” I rolled my eyes and walked away.

Holly didn’t even knock. We’re so close we just walk into each other’s houses and help ourselves to whatever we want. She kicks off her shoes and runs to me and wraps her arms around me and starts crying on my shoulder. It’s kind of an awkward experience and I don’t know what to do but just rest my hands on her back.

“I hate him, Stephen. I seriously hate him.” She says and pulls herself away from me and looks up at me. Her mascara is running down her cheeks and she has black splotches on her eyelids.

“Come here, let me fix you.” I say and lead her into the bathroom. I grab a towel and start wiping off the mascara and her eyes.

“Thank you, Stephen, but I don’t really care what I look like around you.”

I don’t know if I’m supposed to take that as a compliment or a diss but I just ignore it.

“Stephen, what did I do wrong? Why did he cheat on me? Am I not pretty enough? Am I that bad in bed? Why would he do this to me?” She starts sobbing again.

“Holly, you’re a very pretty girl. I don’t know why he would do that to you. He obviously doesn’t know what he’s left behind.”

“You really think I’m pretty? You’re the best friend in the whole world!” She smiles and throws her arms around me again. This time I knew what to do so I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer to me so there was barely any space between us.

“Holly, you’re very pretty; you’re gorgeous. If I were Dan, I’d be kicking myself in the ass for letting you go.” I start to sweet talk her.

“Stephen, are you flirting with me?” She asks.

“What if I was?”

She pulled herself away from me and out of my grasp.

“You’ve helped me a lot. I do feel a lot better. But I just remembered I have to start working on a project that’s due this Friday. I’ll call you later on tonight, okay? See you later.” She said so fast and walked out the door. Then it hit me; I scared her away. I walked over to my mother.

“Your advice sucks, mom.” I tell her.

“What happened?” She asked.

“I thought I didn’t like Holly that way but then thought about it, then finally accepted it and I opened my heart to her and she left! Your advice sucks!”

“Hey,” She engulfs me into a hug. “I’m sorry. I’m not a psychic so I don’t know who likes you. Maybe she is the girls but she’s not ready to tell you and she’s still shy-”

“Or maybe she doesn’t like me at all and I scared her off. She probably thinks I’m a creeper. Thanks a lot, mom.” I cut her off. I pull myself away from her and run up into my room and shut my door. I listen to my music again and lay on my bed.

Maybe she really is shy and she doesn’t know how to tell me. Then why would she act all weird after I try flirting with her? Maybe she doesn’t like me at all. Maybe I am a creeper. Ugh, being a male senior sucks.