The Girl I Never Meant To Let Go

I shot up suddenly from my bed, laying in a pool of sweat. I felt the sheets beside me. It was just a dream, she wasn’t there. I ran my fingers through my long, messy black and red hair. There was no Brynley here. She wasn’t there as she had been in my dream. How I longed to touch her long blonde hair again, to feel her body, to feel her warm breath on my neck, the warmth of her touch, the pull of her bright blue eyes. My heart ached in my chest. Damn, I missed her. My gaze drifted out my open window, that let in a slight fall breeze, to look at the night sky. It had been a year since we parted ways and that whole year without her has felt like Hell to me. I can’t do anything without thinking of her. Everything reminds me of her. Someone on the street may laugh like her or look like her and my heart constricts in my chest. Then when I find out its not her, I get an overwhelming pain.

We met at the beginning of summer. My life long friend Ayden suggested he and I go spend time at the beach and pick up some hot chicks. I’m a guy; of course I was in. I remember it so clearly. We arrived the second week of May, planning to go to parties, get wasted every night, just doing what typical teenage guys would do. Not expecting to find anyone truly special, we were just looking for a good time. I was looking forward to it and quite anxious really.

Tons of girls came onto me, but none of them mattered once I saw Brynley. I still remember how it all started.

I saw her from across the room with a group of friends, sipping on some beers. Her soft blonde hair was long and straight down her back. She wore a pair of black skinny jeans and pink tank top, both clinging tightly to her nice ass and chest. Her bright blue eyes looked so innocent and pure. She seemed too goody goody for my liking though, but I enjoyed a challenge.

I was drunk and quite horny and I chose her as my first fling of the summer...Or so I thought.

I walked over to her and felt my heart stutter as she lifted her gaze from her friend who was speaking to settle on me. She smiled faintly. She had the most beautiful smile ever. Her teeth were straight and white, her lips a soft pink. I gave her my seductive smile in return and greeted her.

“Hey, Beautiful,” I said, confidently, but I her smile instantly faded.

“Uh, hi…”

She obviously thought I was some creep or something.

“So you know Aaron?" I asked, referring to the owner of the house, the one who was throwing the party. It wasn't exactly smooth, but I decided to stick with a safe topic, so I didn't offend her again.

She smiled and I was glad I had obtained her attention again. “Yeah, he's my cousin. He's a really nice guy."

I continued to talk to her some, mostly about unimportant things, but I was determined to make this a little more exciting.

I gave her another one of my famous smiles. “Would you like to go some place better?”

Her eyes searched mine for a second then she nodded shyly. I offered my hand and she took it.

I wasn’t sure where I was going to take her yet, but I just decided to let things go as they may. She followed behind me as we weaved through the crowd of drunk couples grinding to the blasting music. We walked out the back door and started walking down the beach.

“So what’s your name?” She asked as we got away from the loud music and could hear each other better.

“Ian.”

“Ian,” she said softly to herself, smiling. “I like it.”

“Well, what’s your name then?” I was actually very curious.

She smiled brilliantly and ran a little ways in front of me. “I’m not sure if I want to tell you that, Ian. I guess you will have to convince me.” She turned around to face me, causing her to walk backwards.

I smiled slightly to myself. She seemed quite interesting. “How should I do that?” I asked her, with fake confusion.

“Oh, I’m sure you will think of something.”

My smile left my face as I watched her. She had stopped and taken her flip flops off, leaving them in the sand. She walked delicately over to the rushing water, stopping so the water just barely reached her toes.

I walked over to her and she smiled. She looked so cute and innocent.

“What were you doing at that party?” I asked, wanting to know what a girl like her was doing at a party with alcohol.

Her smile faded. “I know I’m not the usual girl who would go to that type of party, but I thought I might as well do something I normally wouldn’t do.” She turned to look me in the eyes. “I just wanted to try something new, you know? I’m tired of living my life as the little innocent girl I am. I want to change that.” She laughed slightly. “I’m sorry. You probably don’t really care much about it so I’ll stop babbling now.”

But she was wrong. She was clever and cute. I had never met a girl before where I have been this intrigued, and we just met. Who knows what would happen in a week, two weeks, a month…

“Actually, I do care.” I said, meaning it whole heartedly. “I’ve never met another girl like you.”

Suddenly I didn’t care about parties, alcohol, or one night stands as I had originally planned. All I wanted to do was spend as much time with this girl as possible and get to know her better.

She smiled at me.

“What is your name?” I asked again, softly.

“…Brynley.”

Brynley. It was such a unique and beautiful name. It suited her.

The warm summer breeze tossed her long hair around in her face. I put the strands back in place, enjoying the feel of her silky hair between my fingers. I was instantly turned on. She was the first chick to ever have such a strong effect on me without even touching me.

“Brynley,” I sighed and leaned in to softly kiss her brow and I was glad she didn't object. I couldn't stop myself. I kissed her nose then her lips, ever so gently. She responded, kissing me back with passion. Passion. Something I have never experienced myself, only lust.

I wanted more of her. I pulled her close and deepened the kiss. She tasted slightly of beer and chocolate. I ran my fingers through her hair and she clung to my shirt. I licked her bottom lip and she granted me entry. We fought for dominance for some length of time. Whether it was a few minutes or 20 minutes I did not know. I did not care. I just wanted her, I wanted to be close to her, I wanted to feel her. She finally won, much to my surprise. For a good girl, she sure as hell knew how to kiss!

We pulled apart after some time and we stayed there, looking into each others eyes. What a huge effect this girl had one me. She was so different and so beautiful. I wanted to get to know her.

___

We spent the rest of the summer together. We went out to eat, went to the beach together, and went to the movies. We did everything I never would’ve ever considered doing with a girl. We got to know each other on a deeper level. She was 18, just a year younger then me. This was her last summer then she would head off to college and become a doctor. Me? I planned on sticking with my band, no college.

We brushed that aside, not wanting to think about it at that point. We just savored the time we had together, not realizing how little that time was.

__

When the summer came to an end, there wasn’t much I could do. She said she wanted to stay with me, but I cared too much for her that I couldn’t let her do that. If she stayed with me she would be less motivated to go to college. I didn’t want to ruin her dream of becoming a doctor. I didn’t want to ruin her future. As much as it hurt, I knew I would have to let her go, but she was smart. She would demand a reason why I would be ending things between us. There was only one way to let her go and that was by breaking her heart.

In the end I told her that I no longer cared about her. I told her I was going to go my way and she was to go her's. She cried, but I expected it. It tore at my heart. I never wanted to see her cry, but even more I didn’t want to be the cause of her tears.

I left the beach the next day and I planned to never look back. I tried to convince myself that what I was doing was in her best interest, but I still felt dead inside. I missed her everyday. Everything reminded me of her. She was my everything. I soon realized, not long after that summer, that I really did love her. She changed me. She changed me for the better. I no longer partied, or drank as much, but most importantly, I never moved on. She was never replaced or forgotten. There were no other girls after her.

___

I looked at the clock on my nightstand. It was only 5 in the morning, meaning for Brynley it would be around 8 in the morning. She was three hours ahead…how I still remembered! I remembered everything she told me that summer...

I grabbed my phone and found her number as I had so many times over the past year, just never daring to press ‘dial.’

Something inside me was different this time, though. I wanted more then anything just to hear her voice; to hear that she was doing well.

I pressed ‘dial’ and held my breath.

Ring…ring…ring…

“Hello?” said a cute, feminine voice that I knew at once was my Brynley. My heart beat faster in my chest.

“Bryn.” I said quietly. My voice sounded strained. I was so happy to hear her voice. “Its me…Ian…”

“Ian?” she said alarmed, but she didn’t sound angry or upset.

I smiled and laughed softly to myself. I missed her voice terribly and I was relieved she didn't seem to be upset with me. It gave me the courage to say what I wanted to say most.

“Brynley…I love you.”