It's Just the Way We're Diseased

I have a plan. It may or may not work, but it's a start.

"We're almost there." I said trying to contain my excitement. The hour was three in the morning and the point of destination was no more than five minute away.

The point of destination was Bright Veil Institute, hospital for the mentally ill. Today we had an interesting task at hand: break Grace out of the hospital. Why was she there? It's been a year, I hardly remember.

"Lisa, this is your fault in the first place." Matt growled from the back seat. I just glared back at him while Syn slowed the car.

"Hey, shut up, I had to break you and Syn out of jail, remember?" I pouted.

"Your fault we were in jail." He shrugged.

"Whoa whoa, that's not fair! Yes it was my fault we had to flea but you guys were dumb enough to get caught, you, Syn, and Grace. Johnny, Jimmy, Zacky, and I didn't get caught!"

"You don't know about Jimmy. None of us have seen him." Matt retorted.

"And anyways," I hissed, "It's not my fault you guys had warrants. So there." I blew a raspberry at him.

"Real mature, Lisa." Matt responded. I glared at him angrily.

"So Lisa, what are we gonna do if your plan doesn't work?" Syn asked This is where rage poked it's head into my emotions.

"Well at least I had a goddamn plan. At least I'm willing to take the risk of failure." I snapped. This was why I didn't like making plans and giving orders. There was always the chance of failure and I feared that.

"Calm down Lisa, I was just asking." He defended.

"If it doesn't work I blame you all." I pouted looking out the window.

"Why?" Zacky burst from the back seat.

"Because I asked for help when coming up with the plan and did any of you fucking help? Hell no!" I spat, turning around in my seat to face them in the back.

"Why do you hate taking the lead in something?" Johnny asked.

"Because I don't like knowing if we fail it's my fault." I groaned.

"It's usually your fault anyways." Matt muttered. I slammed a knife into his leg. He let out a noise that was louder than a groan but not really a scream. Syn was careful to not jerk the wheel in surprise.

"Matt, I will kill you. I don't have Grace here to hold me back right now." I hissed. I was already nervous as hell and I was hiding it with anger.

"It's like sex, you like to be on top but I have to control you cause I know how to make myself cum." Syn said suddenly. I blushed, my cheeks as red as my anger. I turned around slowly, staring out the window again, trying to drown out the laughter erupting from the back seat. I was always the object of ridicule. I was always the one they found something to laugh about later. And I honestly hated it. I didn't let Syn see the small amount of tears that left my ducts. I just stared out the window waiting.

We made it. The back of the small private asylum was rather menacing. We analyzed the building and the best place to get in. The best place looked like it came from a movie-- A window with the perfect tree to climb right next to it. How predictable.

We decided to wait a night, prepare ourselves mentally. Ready ourselves for the chance of failure. I suggested we do this preparing at a bar. I only decided that because alcohol is the best way I calm myself-- if I can be drunk or have a buzz before doing what we're about to, I'd be a lot less uneasy about failing.

We blew through the doors of that bar, Syn and I hitting on every breathing being in the room other than those in our little group. It was terrible cause Syn and I were supposedly a couple. This is when we caused trouble, though. He's allowed to hit on girls, sure. Every bit of money he would spend on me, he's allowed to spend on the girl-- which is always an amount of zero. I get guys to buy me drinks all the time. But when one gets too slap-happy and thinks he can feel me up, Syn comes to my rescue. Tonight, however, we were on our best behavior. We really didn't wanna get into trouble just yet.

"Holy shit-fuck!" A familiar voice beamed from one corner of the bar near me. I turned my head in surprise.

"Jimmy!" I exclaimed. I grabbed his arm, pulling him to Matt who was still in a little group with Johnny and Zacky.

"Well I'll be dammed." Matt said, eyebrows rose. "What the fuck have you been up to?"

"Waiting for you guys to get here so we can get Grace out. Took you guys a whole damn year." He looked pointedly at me. "You are a terrible twin."

"Hold the fuck on, listen here you asshole, you've been here all this time and you're her older brother. You could have done something!" I downed the bottle of beer that I got from somewhere, I didn't know if it was bought for me or if I just stole someone's beer from the counter.

"I stayed here! You guys fled! At least I showed loyalty." He sneered.

"Shut the fuck up! I had to run to not get caught, Syn and Matt got picked by the feds, and Zacky and Johnny had the same instincts I had-- survival of the mother fucking fittest!" I had to try to keep myself from screaming that way no one would listen in on us.

"Lisa, calm down!" Syn hissed in my ear suddenly, wrapping his arms around me from behind, but more or less to keep me from starting a bar fight like I so often had.

"But Jimmy's being a dick!" I cried.

"He's always a dick. Lisa, stop." I hadn't realized I had started fighting him.

"So do you guys have a plan or what?" Jimmy asked, uncaring at my hostile attempts to kick his ass.

"Yes, I have a plan." I replied vehemently. I was able to drink from my beer and that was all the leeway Syn allowed me. But then again...

Before I knew what to do next, I dropped the beer and leaped forward, catching Syn off guard so he loosed his grip some, punching Jimmy in the nose. We were instantly the object of attention. I was glad I was drunk or else I would have gotten embarrassed.

"Lisa!" Syn yelled right next to my ear. I barely heard him. I loved fighting. Grace isn't a big fan of it because she doesn't like being battered and bruised, she fights, but not for sport like I do. I get bruised and wear it with pride. I don't try to lie and say I won, I let it be known I got my ass kicked but usually I look so bad that it's evident that it either wasn't a fair match or I wasn't giving up easy. I was silently begging Jimmy to come at me. He was still shocked. He hadn't even realized his nose was bleeding.

"Ma'am, we're gonna have to ask you to leave." A guard said, coming up to our group. I looked at him. I thought about saying, "Fuck you, man! You're not the runner of this establishment and everyone here wants to see a fight. Everyone here wants to start a riot, but it's you, you working for someone else, you, following the rules of others, you keep us from getting what we want!" then hitting him. Then I realized I'm a total hippie and this guy was bigger than Matt, the buffest of the guys around me, and could probably do some damage to me, no matter how much muscle and fighting experience I had. And Matt, probably the only one who could do enough damage to keep the guy down, wouldn't risk a hair on his head to save me.

"Fine." I huffed some. We all walked out, my next thought came to me from looking at a girl who was giving me a look of complete disgust. I snarled at her, she's probably a gold digger, never worked a day in her life, a whore for the rich guys willing to buy her what-the-fuck-ever she wants.

I walked out with my pride still intact.

"Lisa?" Jimmy said.

"What?"

"What's the plan?"

"Tomorrow night we go to the asylum." I continued to explain the plan from there. We made it to the car and went to some local hotel to stay at for a night. I got weird looks for being around five guys and the only girl. I didn't care.

I passed out from being drunk, Syn later joined me. I woke up before anyone else, around seven in the morning, to see Jimmy and Zacky on the floor, Johnny in a chair and Matt had got his own room. I yawned widely and slid off the bed, going outside to the car to grab my brush.

"You're so sexy." I heard a female voice say from some distance. I looked in the rear view mirror and made a noise of disgust. It was that gold-digging whore from last night. She was with some guy. Fucking gold-digger. He looked like he had some hella money on him and I got an idea. I smiled slowly and got into the car, waiting to see what room they went in. So there is was-- room 107. I reached down into the glove box and found the 'emergency hunting knife' I kept in it. I silently thanked the area for being one of those areas that police didn't hang around in and that this cheap hotel had no cameras out watching anything.

After ten minutes I got out of the car and headed toward the room they went in. I could hear her fake giggles and his disgusting moans. Was this really going to be worth it?

Grace ran through my head and anxiety filled me. I opened the door fast and shut it behind me. The girl was on her knees and his pants were down. I almost gagged.

"Hey! What the fuck are you doing, bitch?" The guy yelled. The girl pulled back coughing in shock.

"Hey. My name is Lisa and I'm here for damage control." I grinned and went forward toward them.

"You're the bitch who got kicked out of the bar last night." The girl said.

"Wow, aren't you brilliant. Anyways, enough chit chat, can we just get this over with? The fat guy gets all macho, comes after me, I kill him, you freak out, I kill you next?" I looked at my nails the entire time. Call me cocky? Nah. Just having fun.

"You're gonna kill us? How typical." The female said. The dude was trying to get his pants up fast.

"Don't provoke her, it'll be worse!" The guy hissed.

"Yeah, it'll be worse!" I crossed my arms leaning against the door.

"I'm just saying. Typical. I mean, you come in, and either you rob us or kill us or both. It's overdone and cliche. Get original. Come in here, tell us having sex with strangers is dangerous and leave. That never happens. But this? Yawn." She sounded like an ex valley girl. I ground my teeth together. She was calling me unoriginal. And that was gonna drive me fucking nuts. Course, how do you drive someone who is already insane, insane?

"Please, ma'am just let us go." The guy said. I arched my eye brow and thought about this. Let them go and get the cops called and all that good stuff, or face being unoriginal and these motherfuckers.

I personally favored the latter. I locked the door behind me and pulled the knife out of my boot. The guy got more scared and the girl scoffed. "I've made a choice, you're maybe my smartest victim, trying to distract me expecting me to be such an egotistical bitch that you think it would get under my skin to be unoriginal, but too bad I don't care." I care a lot.

"Uh..." The girl was now scared. I yawned. Two people in front of me and one could easily get to the door if I left from my spot. What was I gonna do? I played with the knife a bit, twirling it around in circles.

Listen to the heart beat in your ears. Adrenaline running through you. I'm sure two minutes went by before Fat Bastard ran toward me and I tossed the knife just right so it went through his forehead. He fell to the floor and I smiled.

I love going for the brain. I always try to figure out what part I got, if it was something simple like motor skills or something more complex. But today, I didn't care. I didn't have time nor patience to break the skull open as much as I can to poke and prod at the brain. The girl stared wide eyed at the scene.

"To think, only 20 minutes ago you were giving him a blow job." I clicked my tongue three times and gave her the shame sign. I ripped the knife from the guys skull and licked up the blade licking the blood. I heard her sob and give a noise that sounded like she was going to throw up. I laughed.

"What's your name? I told you my name." I said a little childishly.

"My name? Why?" She made a weird squeaky noise.

"Because I said so." I let my voice drain of emotion.

"Emily."

"Hello Emily. You are going to be my next victim. How does that make you feel?" I gave her a sick grin.

She finally screamed. I bolted across the room and karate chopped her in the neck cutting of her scream and turning it into choking.

"Shut the fuck up, stupid little whore!" I grabbed her by the hair and threw her onto the bed. I crawled over her, she was still choking for air, and looked down at her. Her face was thin and her eyes were little big. She was pretty. And I hate pretty people. Except Grace. I took the knife and pointed it at Emily. She screamed again. And she called me typical. I slapped her, just enough to knock sense into her. She quieted. "You need to stop that." I pulled her arms to be under my knees and then took the knife and sliced it down her cheek. She started crying.

"Oh! Let's do the Joker effect! Open wide." I said in a sing-song tone. She cried out and I seized her mouth and slashed her cheeks apart at the corners. If she was going to accuse me of being unoriginal, I was going to go all out in unoriginality.

I left the room and stretched, feeling so much better. I walked back to the car and sighed, petting it some. After tonight, I was going to have to give up my faithful companion that helped me get all through this country. I frowned, thinking about Grace. She used to be a faithful companion. I need her back so badly. "You're best friend is a car." I muttered to myself solemnly. "How could you let this happen, Lisa? You've never really been in control but at least you were conscious. How the fuck did you let this happen?" They say serial killers don't have a conscience. And in most cases, I don't. People are destined to die. It happens. But when it comes to my fucked up family? Even Matt ranks somewhere in that.

It's all your fault. I had to admit the very thing I denied. I repeated it to myself as I got into the car and started to clean it out. Being serial killers and always on the run, we didn't own a whole lot we could get attached to. I always got attached to cars. I always got attached to weapons. Clothes didn't matter so much. Attachment to clothes was Grace's thing. I couldn't even get attached to my boyfriend. My lack of concern to humans and most things made up for my semi-conscience. I grabbed my favorite knife that I've had since we started killing. It even had my initials in it. It was real silver with a quote in Italian on it. "Cane che abbaia non morde." Which means, "Barking dogs don't bite." I'm all bite.

I grabbed the last bit of stuff and pet the car one last time before looking at the time. Time to get ready. I ran and knocked on the door to Matt's room, then into the one I was sharing with the other guys. "Get ready, assholes!" I shouted and stripped right there not caring that all 4 of them could see me. Syn glared at the other three as I got dressed, which he really didn't need to glare at Jimmy, him being my brother and all. I looked down at my stomach, looking at scars I had from when I was younger. Another reminder that I need to not be all about the barking and taunting unless I can back it up. It was a reminder that my mouth and ruthless actions get my in trouble sometimes. I pulls on a tight fitting long sleeved black slick shirt. I grabbed a pair of tight-around-the-waist pants that flared out into bell-bottom style at the bottom, grabbed a pair of knee high socks, and then combat boots. Simple clothing. Nothing too flattering, nothing uncomfortable.

Matt knocked at the door and Zack let him in. "We ready?"

"Everyone need to get rid of their items. I cleaned out the car since we have to leave it. But we don't have a get away car." I frowned some. "We'll have to try to run again."

"Fuck that!" Matt burst. I closed my eyes trying to be patient with his anger. I was always patient with Grace's anger, but to be fair she was my sister. I loved her. I didn't care too much for Matt. "Running is what got us in trouble in the first place!"

"Well we can't take the car, Matt! It's been seen too much in this area. We have to ditch it." I tried to keep the snap from my voice. When we said ditching something, it was more like make it explode.

"I know this! But we can't risk running!" He groaned.

"Hey, I've got something for us to use." Jimmy said.

Jimmy never ceased to amaze me. He had the coolest motherfucking ride I've ever seen. It was a pure blue Hippie van. Shag carpet in the back and fuzzy seats up front. Fuck, he even had pink fuzzy dice. It was too amazing. When we got close enough to the Asylum I took a deep breath. Bright Veil was a heavily guarded institute. If anything goes wrong, we're all done for.

That provoked the fear. Fear. The one thing I hate most.

Fear and doubt. I always doubted myself.

My heart beat in my ears upon approaching the building.

Fear, doubt, and worry. Feelings that never let me be the best serial killer. What child grows up and decides they want to be a serial killer anyways?

Fear, doubt, worry, and regret. Feelings that keep me going day-by-day. I fight through them, yet they grew.

We ran through the dark trees and made it to the dark building. The plan was always in play. Johnny and Zacky went around the sides to take out the front door guards. They were back within 5 minutes. Zacky had a black eye now. Guess one guard was a little touchy about people trying to knock him out. With that confirmation we climbed the tree that made me wonder why this was playing out like a movie. I got up last, almost falling out because I have no balance, and made it through the window. Matt was already making his way down to the Nurse's station. At eleven at night, this place was dark as fuck.

I didn't see where everyone else went, but I assumed it was to do their parts. I felt the fear building and threatening to choke me. There was a guard that was just kind of casually walking around. I pressed against the wall, my breathing spiking. Thank god for the color black, blending in with the darkness. There was so minimal light that he walked by without seeing me. But of course, I always fuck up. I moved too soon and he turned on me. I kicked out after him, his gun not moving up fast enough, and bit his shoulder. It really hurt my teeth-- fucking bones.

He threw me off and I smashed the wall. This was about where I only saw white and red and just kinda went with instinct. I got up again, I heard a gun cock and made sure I got to the person pointing the gun before they could pull the trigger. I let my fist smash his face some before ripping his head to the side to break his neck. I was breathing heavily and not thinking now. The gun fell from his hands and the trigger snapped. I screamed and fell to my knees. My first thought was about how I now needed new combat boots. I pulled the boot off and saw that the bullet grazed the side of my foot taking skin with it. It was stopped at the back of my foot and rested on the bottom of my boot. "Fuck." I muttered. I put the boot back on when I saw Syn come flying down the hall at me.

"Jesus Christ Lisa, could you be anymore of a fuck up?" He whispered urgently. I blinked at him and was in a bit of shock.

"Gee, Syn, thanks, I'm not in pain or anything, I didn't almost lose a foot or anything. But hey thanks for caring, oh boyfriend of mine." I got up, pain setting my foot on fire but that's OK, and started to walk down the hall. Johnny was found at a door. Then Matt, Zacky and Johnny showed up. Zacky had the keys. He leaned down some and unlocked the door. Excitement ran through my more than adrenaline would have, and I shoved him aside and opened the door to peak in.

"Gracie?"