I Can't Be Without You

There were so many things running through my mind after school that day. My sister was possibly dating Josh, I was pretty sure that John was getting ready to punch Josh in the face, I had math home work on the brain, and I forgot many times to tie up my shoes, so I constantly tripped over them.
When the bell rang, I was one of the first people to my locker. I had a spare last, so I was wandering the hallways. Every time I would walk by the math room, I would see Josline and Josh talking about something, but my awesome ninja powers didn't come with lip-reading.

I sincerely was happy for my sister. But there was just something about Josh that threw me off. He played it cool around Josline, but sometimes, when she wasn't around, he was a bit different. Something in my mind was telling me not to trust Josh. Josline had really taken a liking to him, and I didn't want to be the one to ruin her happiness. Josline had gone through so much at that point in her life. Losing her best friend, Mariah (she ran away. She didn't die.), who she hasn't seen since the end grade 9. Ever since that, she had been extremely alone. I transfered schools, and nearly died. And even though she was too young to even remember it, she lost her twin sister, Erika. Erika was the older twin. Josline and Erika were born 12 minutes apart. My mom was only supposed to have one baby that night.

One baby was all she got in the end.

Even though Erika and Josline were just 6 months old at the time, they had one of most inseperable bonds any one could of imagined. When Erika was upset, Josline was upset. When Erika was happy, Josline was happy. It was like they shared brain waves and always knew when one another was hurt.

Erika was 6 months old, and died of SIDS, or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. It killed my dad the most when Erika died, because he was holding her. I can't imagine, even to this day, how well my dad held up. I was only about a year old at the time. When my mom told me, 'Erika's not coming home' when we were at the hospital, I didn't understand. I was only a year old. One year old brain's don't usually register 'death'.

Josline had gone through a painful break up. Alex Demarko. He was Josline's boyfriend back in grade 10. Raddison Baker. She was my ex-girlfriend. Horrible mistake if I do say so myself. I knew that Raddison liked Alex, and Josline knew too.

We were at a party, where all major break ups happen in my town. Josline went to use the bathroom, and I saw everything happen. Raddison, being drunk and horny (if you could be horny at 15), started to make out with Alex. Josline really loved Alex, and she walked in on them. Alex didn't even chase after Josline (maybe because he was drunk too?). Ever since then, Josline has been scared to fall in love.

I didn't have to work on Mondays, which was great. I was contemplating quitting though. I really did not like working the coffee shop in Trail. People were rude, and they didn't like me much. It might have been my weird clothing choices, or my hair colour (which, I was planning on dying back to my natural colour, brown). Matt caught up with me after school, asking if he could crash at my place for about 2 hours. I didn't find a problem with it, so I agreed. Then, I figured that it might be a good idea to interogate Matt about Josh.

Once at my house, we went into the basement, my mom brought us down snacks about 10 minutes after we got home. We sat in the big green chairs and just talked about life in general.

"So, how's things with you and Jazz?" I asked Matt.

"Absolutely great! How are things with you and Marque?" Matt asked me in return.

"You know...I never thought I would actually say this..." I hesitated for a moment. I had never used the word I was just about to say on any of my girlfriends. "I think I love Marque." I said. Matt smiled at me.

"Jazz will be happy to hear about that." Matt laughed. I joined in, and then my face got serious.

"Matt, I need to know...is there any thing about Josh I should know about? Something doesn't seem...right...about him." I asked. Matt looked at me a moment and then spoke.

"Well, Josh hasn't had a girlfriend longer than 3 months before. And he doesn't fall in love easily. But he deffinatly is not the kind of guy to play around with a girls heart." Matt explained.

"I'm not trying to say he's a bad person or anything, but I don't know if I can trust him fully. He's a good guy, but I'm just looking out for Jaws..." I said, putting my hands behind my head.

"Trust me. Josh does like Jaws. He hasn't said he does, but I know he does. It's the way he acts around her." Fake? I thought to myself. "He's not as crazy as he normally is." Matt caught my still worried look. "Don't worry man. Josh is a good guy. He won't hurt Josline."

If only I could believe him.