I Can't Be Without You

I didn't go to school because I was sick. I didn't have to worry about work because I quit,well...I was fired. Marque came to see me during one of my breaks, and when my boss told me to get back to work, I gave Marque a quick kiss goodbye.

Some girl thought it would be okay to comment on it in a homophobic way. I confronted her, and she got all uppity. I ended up punching her, fracturing her jaw. I was fired on the spot. The girls parents tried to sue me, but once they found out who my dad was, the dropped the charges.

So I spent my Thursday sitting in my living room, watching disney movies in my underwear. A typical Sunday morning for me, except on Thursday.

I had just put The Little Mermaid into the VCR, when the front door slamming scared me. I knew it couldn't of been mom and dad (they had gone out shopping earlier), so it had to be Josline. I heard a slight bang, thinking that Josline had kicked her boots off, making them hit the wall. She appeared from around the corner.

"Josline? What's wrong?" I asked, pausing my movie.

"Nothing is wrong." Josline snapped at me, throwing her jacket on the back of a chair. It was then I got a good look at her face. It was red, most likely from the cold, but she was crying. My sister never cried.

I got up and walked over to her, wrapping her in my arms. She squirmed around, trying to get out of my grip. "Airin, let me go." She said, every word being said each time she made a jerky movement.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong." I hugged her tighter so she couldn't move around much. She stopped and just leaned her head on my chest. She cried for a solid two minutes before she finally moved.

I hated seeing Josline cry. It made me want to cry. She didn't cry often, except when a song that really hit her hard came on, like the song Hallelujah. But even then, it was only a little bit of tears. This was full-on water works.

I lead Josline over to the couch and sat her down. I rubbed her back, it helped her calm down. She took a few deep breaths. "Tell me what's wrong." Josline rubbed her eyes slightly.

"J..John...house...homework..." She stuttered. I had put together that she was at Johns house doing homework. Josline took another deep breath and looked at me. "John called Josh a...a..." She mouthed the last word to me. It took a few seconds to register what she had said. My awesome ninja powers didn't come with lip reading.

I gave her a comforting smile. "John's a fuckwit anyways." I said. Josline laughed a little. I wiped a small tear from her cheek. "There, now THAT'S the Josline I know and love." She smiled and rubbed her face again. "Don't waste your time on John. If he really cared about you, he wouldn't be acting like such a child."

"Yeah, but still. He said...that, and it really hurt." She said. We didn't say much else for five minutes. I then noticed the TV was still on.

"Hey, want to watch the Little Mermaid with me?" I asked. Josline smiled at me, nodding lightly. If there was one thing to get Josline's mind of of something, it was watching movies. She didn't watch them often, but got so entranced in them, but she often fell asleep halfway through.

I put my arm around my sister in a protective, but caring way.

There were a number of ways in how me and my sister were different. She was the type of person to not give a shit about anything. I was different. I cared what people thought of me, but then again, everyone does care a little bit, even if they deny it.Every day we are constantly put under a microscope and we're poked and proded at. People want to know what we're doing in our lives, and we don't get privacy. Even living in a cave, you'll be found out sooner or later.

Friday's. They made life complete, for me atleast. I don't know why, but I always felt happiest on Friday's.

I was exiting the school, digging in my pockets for my smokes. Just because I quit drugs, doesn't mean that I could of just completely quit smoking. You had to take baby steps. I swore loudly when I couldn't find a lighter.

"Airin?" I turned my head, seeing my sister. She looked really tired, and still hurt from yesterday's happenings. "What are you yelling about." I shrugged a little.

"Can't find my lighter." I said. Josline gave me a strange look.

"You still smoke?" She asked, starting to dig in her backpack. I just shrugged again. She pulled a small, bright green lighter out of her back pack and handed it to me.

"Josline, do you smoke?" I asked her when she gave me the lighter. Josline shook her head.

"No, but you never know when you need to burn something...or someone." A dark look spread across her face. She shook it off and we started walking home. "Don't you have to work today?"

"Nope, Fridays are my day off." We were quiet as I lit up my ciggarette. I knew it was bad for me, but like I said, baby steps. There was a long silence between the two of us. Once we started getting closer to out house, I threw the ciggarette butt on the ground and stepped on it. "How long have you been smoking?" Josline asked me when we started walking again.

"Since I was 12." I said, she looked shocked.

"Mom and dad don't know?" She asked, and I just shook my head. Truth be told, my parents didn't know that I smoked, I tended to keep that to myself. Infact, no one really knew I smoked. "After I got out of rehab, I smoked alot. About 2 and half packs a day." I said, shoving my hands in my pockets. "Now I'm done to 3 a day."

"That's good! Maybe you'll be able to quit all together!" Josline chirped happily as she pushed open the door to our house.

Maybe I would. I had my inspiration to help me.