I Can't Be Without You

Josh Ramsay. What was he doing in my school, in my little piss-pot of a town?

“Josh, what are you doing here?” I wanted to hug him, but didn’t want to seem too eager.

“Oh, just gonna be living here for a few months.” He smiled at me.

“Aw, no way man! That’s so cool!” Matt and Josh high-fived one another. Josh looked back at me, still smiling. I felt my cheeks go pink.

“Hey, Josline, can I talk to you?” he asked me. I looked back at Matt and Jazz. They got up from their seats and said they’d see us later. I nodded at Josh, who began to speak. “You never called or wrote, or anything.” He said.

I automatically went into a sorry mode. “I am SO sorry Josh. I know I promised you, but every time I picked up the phone, I’d get too nervous and hang up. Or when I would start to write you an e-mail, I’d end up erasing it.” I went completely red. I felt tears threatening to run down my face.

“Jaws…don’t feel bad about it. Truth is, I got nervous trying to call you too.” He lifted my chin up with his fingers. “So, don’t feel bad about it, ‘kay?”

“Okay.” I said, as he pulled me into a hug. It felt nice to be in Josh’s’ arms again. It just felt…right.

“Josline?” I turned my head around to see John. I backed away from Josh and stammered a hello to John. “Who’s this?” John asked suspiciously.

“Oh, this is…uhh…” I looked at Josh with pleading eyes.

“I’m Josh, one of Josline’s friends. Who are you?” Josh asked politely.

“I’m John, her boyfriend.” John said with a hint of aggravation.

“Boy friend? I didn’t know that.” Josh looked at me suspiciously.

“Actually, John, we aren’t exactly official.” I said sternly. “We haven’t even been on a date yet.”

John pulled me over to him, his hand around my wrist. “Who the fuck is this guy?” he hissed at me. I took a step back from him.

“If you’re going to talk to me like that, then I’m not going to tell you.” I said, my eyes narrowed. John’s face softened.

“I’m sorry. Who the fuck is this guy?” he repeated in a nicer tone.

“One of my friends, who I happen to like very much.” I said the last part quietly. “He actually treats me nicely, and doesn’t flirt with other girls.” I frowned at him.

“Come on, it’s a natural reflex with me.” I huffed, just as the bell rung, signaling us to go into the gym for the back to school speech. I bolted my way into the gym, not wanting any more contact with John.

The school day went by pretty fast. I ignored John most of the day. I hung around Josh mostly. My brother was starting to get his fan club back, plenty of girls were hanging around him, but he pretty much ignored them. He really only cared about Marque now.
I was happy for my brother, that he found someone he loved. My brother hadn’t been happy for a while, so it was a real turn around for him.

I was at my locker, putting all of my books into it, when someone came up behind me for the second time that day. “John, I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Oh, fine then.” The voice of Josh said. I turned around and smiled.

“Sorry Josh. I thought you were John.”

“He already left on the bus.” Josh said. “Oh, what are you doing…right now?” He asked me. I thought for a moment.

“Probably just going home, why?”

“You wanna hang out?” He asked with a slight smirk. I smiled at him, nodding my head.

Josh and I walked down to my house, where Josh was completely stunned on how big it was.
“You actually live in this thing?” He asked me, when we walked through the door.

“Yeah, I’ve lived here for…four years now?” I questioned myself. I led Josh upstairs to my bedroom, where I threw my back pack on the floor. I flopped down on my computer chair, while Josh sat on my bed.
I noticed that he was looking at all the posters I had on the wall. Most of them were of bands I liked. Fall Out Boy, Great Big Sea, and Papa Roach. I had random pictures of my family, a few quotes written on my walls, including Airins tattoo design.

“Nice room.” Josh joked.

“Oh, come on. It’s cleaner than yours.” I smiled. Josh shrugged.

“True. Oh, man! You have an awesome T.V!” He noticed the flat screen monitor that was mounted to my wall.

“Wanna watch a movie or something?” I asked, getting up from my chair. Josh nodded and I grabbed the first one I saw.

The Secret Window.

I had never watched it before, so I didn’t know anything about it. I just knew it had Johnny Depp in it.

I sat on the bed with Josh and turned the movie on.

Half way through, it started getting a little bit scary for my liking. I huddled up into a small little ball. Josh noticed my slight discomfort and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, bringing me in close to him. He kissed the top of my head, making me go red.

I zoned out into another memory.

“Come on, that wasn’t even scary!” Josh said, nudging me off the couch.

“Was too! You said it was a nice movie!” I said, curling up on the floor. Josh crawled onto the floor next to me, slinking his arms around my body.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered in my ear. He kissed my neck, tickling me slightly.

“Josh, don’t do that! It tickles.” I said to him, pushing his face away. He smirked at me.

“Oh, you’re ticklish are you?” He attacked me and started to tickle me. I was laughing so hard, tears were coming out of my eyes.

“Josh! Josh! Stop..stop it! Please!” I said through fits of laughter. I rolled over onto my back, taking him by surprise. He toppled over, landing on top of me.
His face was a few inches away from mine. I had most likely gone red. Josh smiled softly at me, moving his face closer to mine until our lips were millimeters apart from one another.

“Josline? Are you okay?” Josh asked. I looked up at him, smiling.

“Yeah, just fine."