I Can't Be Without You

"Airin...what did you do?" I repeated the only question I had said in the past two hours.

"I..." Airins voice was hoarse and was cracking. "I...don't know...." He said. Tears spilled down my cheeks

"You tried to kill your self Airin...why?" Airin struggled for his words, "Just take it slow." I said. He nodded his head slightly and tried to continue.

"I couldn't...take Marque hating me." He said. I stared at him through my teary eyes. "I messed up another relationship...I've had it Jaws..." Airins voice cracked on every word.

"Airin..." I was cut off by his coughing. He coughed up a bit of flem and pointed to the box of tissues next to the bed. I grabbed it for him and his spit the flem onto several tissues and tossed it in the garbage next to the bed.

"The doctor said that would happen from time to time." Airin explained. I nodded and continued with what I was saying.

"You didn't need to resort to this.I...I would have helped you if you just talked to me Airin." I said, wiping some of the tears off of my face. I don't think I had cried that much in a very long time.

It really killed me to see my brother lying in a hospital bed all bandaged up.He looked so helpless, and all I wanted to do was help him. I couldn't think of anything else to say him. I covered my face with btoh of my hands and just cried into them.

"Josline...I didn't want to make you cry. That was the last thing I wanted to do." Airin said.

"Airin, you have 3 people in here who care about you. We will always be here for you." I said through sobs.

"Thats right Airin. We care about what happens to you." Matt said. I looked at Matt, my face was most likely blotchy and tear streaked.

"Yeah, I mean, just this happening to you...It would really hurt all of us if something more serious happened." Josh said.

I appreciated the support from the other two. I was glad to have Matt and Josh around, they made the situation in the hospital so much easier to deal with. I don't know what I would have done without them. I wouldn't have Jazz or Marque, because they would be pissed off with Airin, Mariah was missing, I wasn't talking to John, Alex or Raddison any more...I don't know what I would have done. My mind automatically wandered to the bad thing that I would do. If I didn't have Matt and Josh around, I might of been lying in a hospital bed along with my brother. But because of them, I wasn't.

I had to call my parents to tell them what had happened to Airin. When I told my mom, she burst into tears on the phone and couldn't talk to me anymore. She had to get my dad to finish my conversation. I could hear my mom constantly muttering 'I knew something bad was going to happen to him! It's a mothers instinct!' in the background.Dad said that they would be there as soon as they possibly could. Since they were in Edmonton, that could take a while.

Everyone had stayed the night in the hospital, after Josh convinced the doctors to let us stay.

"Come on, you have to let us stay! What if something happens to him and we're too far away?" Josh said from outside the hospital room door.

"I'm sorry, but you three can't stay over night." The doctor said firmly.

"Okay, you know that girl in the room? That's is Airins sister! Do you know how much Airin needs her right now?" Josh said. There was nothing said from either of them.

"I..." The doctor started.

"No, Airin needs his friends and family right now, and you're not going to allow it? I though doctors believed in making people better. Well, maybe support from people who care about Airin would help him." Josh said again. I head the doctor heave a sigh.

"Okay, fine. But just for tonight." Josh walked back into the room, looking rather proud. I got up and threw my arms around him. He seemed a little confused why I had made such a sudden movement.

"Thank you Josh." I said into his chest.

"Um, your welcome?" He looked at me strangely. I just laughed a little and let him go.

"Hey guys...what time is it?" Airin asked. His voice was staring to sound a little bit better. I opened my cellphone to look at the time.

"9:45" I said. Airin lifted one of his bandaged arms and rubbed his eyes. He was getting tired, and I could tell that. "Yeah, we should all probably get some sleep." I said.

It was the most uncomfortable sleep in my life. Matt had curled up in the old recliner that looked like it was from the 50's. Josh had stolen two chairs from the lobby, and he was about as stealthy as a garbage truck. I had made a makeshift bed out of our coats. I used Josh and Matts coats as the "bed" and my coat as a pillow. Not the most comfortable place to sleep ever.

We were all woken up by my cell phone ringing loudly. I scrambled around for it, finally picking it up on the fourth ring. "Hello?" I said groggily.

"Where are you?" Jazz's panicked voice said into the phone. "I called Matt, but he didn't answer, so I called his parents and his mom said you were at the hospital! What happened?" Jazz ran all of her words together, so it was hard for me to understand what she had said right away.

"Jazz, I've been sleeping on a dirty, hospital floor all night. Can you wait five minutes for me to wake up?" I asked her, trying to prevent a yawn from happening.

"Okay..." Not even a second had gone by before Jazz was screeching in my ear again, "What happened?" I looked very unimpressed with my phone. I looked miserably at Matt.

"Matt..." I whined, holding the phone out to him. Matt got out of the chair and took the phone from me.

"Hi Jazz." Matt said, stiffling a yawn. "No, I'm alright...no, Josh is alright." Matt tapped his fingers against the back of the phone. "Jaws is okay too...no, it's Airin." Matt held the phone away from his head. You could hear Jazz yell 'what happened to Airin'. It startled Airin awake when his name was yelled at him through the small speakers on the phone.

"I didn't do it!" Airin hoarsly whisper-yelled. He coughed loudly and shook his head.

"I...I don't think I can really answer that for myself Jazz, because I don't know what happened." Matt said. Matt looked at the phone strangely and closed it. "She hung up. She said she was going to be here as soon as she could." Airin looked a little bit horrified.

I had a feeling he didn't want to face Jazz, or Marque. And honestly, I wouldn't want to either. Airin was still looking, and feeling rather fragile and emotional. Possibly seeing Marque could break him down even more than he already was.

I attempted to sit up, every joint and muscle in my body was aching. My neck was stiff and I couldn't get off the floor. "Josh...help?" Josh rolled off the chairs and landed on the floor. He got up, stretching and then helped me up off the floor. Josh held onto me until my legs stopped being numb. Everyone was quiet, and it was starting to feel a little awkward. "I'm going to get coffee...do you guys want any?" I asked Josh and Matt. Airin frowned when he wasn't offered. "You can't have any Airin. You get water." I said firmly. I was starting to sound like our mom. Airin pouted and then layed his head back down on his pillow. Josh and Matt both nodded and I walked out of the room to get the coffee. I walked up to the little counter at the coffee shop type store and asked for 3 coffee's. The person behind the counter smiled at me.

"Rough night?" He asked me. I nodded my head and sighed. I probably looked pretty unappealing, even to Josh. He put the coffees down on the counter and I payed for them. "Well, I get off in 2 hours. Maybe you'd want to talk about it then?" He smiled slyly at me. I looked at his name tagm which read 'Tavis'.

"No." I said simply.

"Aww, why not?" Tavis complained. Just then, Josh came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

"Cause this guy would shoot you." I mouthed to Tavis. He frowned and then turned away from the counter. Josh let go of me and took one of the coffee's.

"Matt wanted some cream in his. Josh walked over to the small counter that had all the sugar and creamers on it. I wanted some sugar and a little bit of irish cream in mine. Josh liked his black, that weirdo. Once all the coffee was sorted out, we went back into Airins room. Josh handed Matt his coffee and Matt looked extremely happy after he took a sip.

"Ah, coffee. Work your magical wake-up powers on me!" Matt said, sitting down in one of the stolen lobby chairs. Josh, Airin and I laughed at Matt.

"Atleast you had a comfortable sleep." I muttered, taking a sip of my coffee. "I slept on a dirty floor." I put my coffee down on a little table inside the room.

"Well, I offered the chair to you, but you said no!" Matt said defensively.

"That's cause I didn't want you guys to be uncomfortable." I said.

"So you'd rather us be comfortable and you sleep on a dirty floor?" Josh asked, sitting down next to Matt in the other stolen lobby chair.

"Yes." I said stubbornly. Both Matt and Josh knew that I wasn't going to budge on my decision to sleep on the floor.

"Jaws...don't take this the wrong way," Airin started, "But you're small enough that you and Josh could fit on the chair together." I looked at the chair, and Airin was right. I was deffinatly small enough for both me and Josh to sleep on the chair.

"Yeah..." I said, looking at the chair.

"I'm not going to be here tonight anyways, because I need to do things with my family." Matt said, "The chair is all yours!"

"But I..." I started. Josh had gotten up from his chair and walked over to me. He placed both hands on my shoulder.

"Josline, stop being difficult!" Josh said, shaking my shoulders lightly. I looked at him, and he looked right back, with a some-what serious look on his face.

"Okay..." I muttered, folding my arms across my chest. The boys laughed and then it was quiet again. The sound of my cell phone scared us all again. I looked at my phone, "Who would call me right now, other than my parents.?" I muttered to myself. I flipped open the phone and said hello.

"Hello, Jaws?" I heard Greg's, my boss, voice say. I was confused why he would call me. I then smacked my forehead.

"Oh my God! I'm sorry Greg! I completely forgot about my morning shift." I appologized. I knew that I had to be there that day, because only Greg, Davin and I were on staff.

"You're only an hour late." Greg said, sounding rather dissapointed in me.

"I'm really sorry Greg. But I'm at the hospital right now." I said. Greg was silent.

"Do you mind me asking what happened?" he now sounded concerned.

"Airin...it's Airin. He tried to...well..." I couldn't speak. Thinking about what had happened made me tear up.

"Oh, I understand! Josline, you take all the time you need to be with your family. Tell Airin I say to get better real soon. He's one of my most valued customers!" Greg tried to make me laugh, and it did work.

"Thank you, so much Greg." I said, nearly at the point of tears. I had a feeling that Greg would be sensitive towards my situation, because he had a twin sister when he was younger, but she died in a car accident. Greg knew how close Airin and I were, and Greg knew that if Airin died, how devistated I would be. Greg had lost a sibling, so he would know how I would feel if something more serious did happen to Airin.

I was happy to know that I knew such loving and caring people.