I Can't Be Without You

Josh had moved back to Vancouver the first day Spring break had started. Of course I was sad, but Josh promised me that he would call everyday, and that he would try to see me whenever he could. We decided that, even though it was long distance, we would still stay together.

I was not one for long-distance relationships, but there was something much different about him. I really had fallen in love with Josh.

But how soon would it be until it all came crashing down on me?

I was sitting in the basement, my fingers lightly running over the keys on my baby grand piano. I smiled warmly at memories that flooded through my mind. It was down in that basement where I had my very first kiss ever. It's where I wrote my first song, where I recorded my first song. It's where I put on rockstar performances for me, myself and I. It was also where Josh and I sang with one another for the first time.

But the basement had it's bad memories to it. It's where Airin nearly died, where Raddison admitted to betraying my trust, where Josh had told me he was moving back to Vancouver...

The good deffinatly outweighed the bad, but the bad were just as strong.

I pressed the piano keys lightly, the soft sound of a high C ringing in my ears. I sat on the bench and stared at the keys, waiting for some source of inspiration. I then noticed some sheet music sitting on the stand. i looked it over, realizing it was one of my songs. I pressed the keys for the right notes to sound.

"I'm not coming home tonight.
The ending is near, It's becoming unclear.
There's too much to fear, tonight.
I don't want to be stuck here,
while it's all headed down.

I..." I stopped playing when the door opened, revealing Airin's face.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't think anyone was down here." He said, closing the door behind him.

"It's fine Airin. I wasn't really doing anything important." I said, closing the cover on the piano. Airin looked at the piano, then at me.

"You were playing something." It was more like a statement than a question. I just nodded. "Oh...hey, I was wondering something..." He started. I swivled on the bench to get a good look at Airin. "I have to go see Larry, my rehab counsellor in 2 days. I have to drive to Vancouver, and mom and dad are both busy with work."

"Oh yeah, mom's working at that project house." I said. My mom was kind of like an interior decorator. She was studying law and psychology in college, but she had Evangeline before she could finish those degrees. She had a fine arts degree, however.

"Yeah. So, I was wondering, since Greg closed down the restaurant for Spring break," Greg and Davin had gone to Hawaii for a little 'alone time'. "I thought you could come with me." Airin finished.

"What about Marque?"

"He went to Calgary with Jazz, Chris and Sam." Airin smiled when he said Sam's name.

"So Chris and Sam are getting along?"

"Marque said that he basically loves her." Airin gushed. I made a small 'awe' noise. "So...will you come with me? "

"Sure, I'll go!"

Morning arrived, and I woke up, at 4 o'clock, grumpier than Grumpy from the Seven Dwarves. I was not a morning person. Airin was packing up the car, shoving our backpacks into the trunk. Airin was a morning person. He always woke up at 6 every morning, on school days, on weekends he slept in until 3 in the afternoon, unless he had to work.

"Come on Jaws! We gotta get going!" Airin chirped. I wrapped my sweater tightly around my body, yawning my way to the car.

"We have all day." I said groggily.

"No, we don't! We have to be there before 3!" Airin said.

"Why?" I whined.

"Because...I'm the older brother, and this is my car..."

"It's a piece of crap car." I said, leaning against the old, red 1989 Honda Accord.

"It may be a piece of crap car, but this thing has driven me to Vancouver and back dozens of times! And it's got that old car smell that I like."

"Sex and doughnuts?" I smirked. Airin shook his head, slapping his hand to his forehead.

"No! Sex and coffee." Airin said. It made me laugh, so it was going to be a good start to the drive.

I slept most of the way to Vancouver, except when I demanded a "POTTY BREAK!". Airin woke me up as soon as we got into Vancouver. I was excited to see Josh again. Airin drove around until he found the Ramsay house. He pulled up in the driveway and told me he'd just hang around, or go to Andrew's house, which was down the road. I nodded and got out of the car and walked up to the door, knocking lightly. I quickly flattened my hair down and readjusted my sweater. A few seconds after, the door opened.

"Oh! Josline!" Carolynne hugged me and pulled me inside the house. "How are you? What are you doing here? Are you hungry? Oh, you probably don't want to talk to me! Josh is downstairs." She pushed me towards the basement door. I laughed to myself and walked down the steps to Josh's bedroom I smiled at the memories from nearly a year ago. Where I first met Josh.

I knocked on the door, not recieving an answer. I twisted the handle and pushed open the door. "Josh? Are you in here?" I stopped myself when I stepped into the room. I could feel my heart starting to break into thousands of little pieces.