Status: In Progress
It's Gonna Be Hard When I'm Gone
Finding Out and Learning Not to Shout
“Kyber, let’s get wasted tonight,” Jason suggested as I stirred my coffee. We were sitting at Starbucks, discussing all the things that had happened in the weeks that I’d been cut off from communication with humans.
“I can’t get wasted. I have this thing called work tomorrow. I have bills to pay,” I remarked. He noted my sarcasm and frowned.
“Kyber, you need to stop throwing yourself into that god awful job. It’s not going to make you forget her,” Jason snapped. I knew he was right, but my heart wouldn’t admit that. My heart wouldn’t admit that it ached for her to come back, to spend the rest of our lives together.
“I know that, Jason. I fucking know that, but it helps a hell of a lot,” I snapped back, all that pent up anger finally coming out.
“She’s not coming back, Kyber. Get used to that. Adrienne’s gone!”
“You don’t know that!”
“She’s not coming back. Stop hoping.”
“Just let me be!”
“Not when you’re hurting yourself!”
“I haven’t hurt myself,” I snarled back at him. My heart was screaming at me to stop this, it wasn’t helping anyone.
“That’s a big line of bullshit and you know it.”
“Just shut up, okay? Just shut up!”
His face suddenly turned sincere, all anger evaporating from between us.
“Kyber, I’m sorry, but it just hurts me because I know Adrienne really hurt you by leaving you like that, but you need to move on, find yourself another girl that treats you ten times better than she did,” he pulled my hand into his, stroking the back of my hand with his thumb.
“Jase, I can’t. It doesn’t get any better than her,” I frowned at my coffee, stirring it with my free hand.
“You just haven’t found it yet.”
I bit my lip, pulling my hand from his.
“I’ve got to get to work. I’ll call you tomorrow,” I gathered my phone and keys from the table and high tailed it out of the Starbucks.
My mind was racing as I turned onto the high way. The radio was loud, drowning out at least some of the thoughts pushing into my head.
She never loved you.
You were just a rebound.
You were a waste of her time.
I closed my eyes for a brief moment, but little did I know, it was my biggest mistake.
“I can’t get wasted. I have this thing called work tomorrow. I have bills to pay,” I remarked. He noted my sarcasm and frowned.
“Kyber, you need to stop throwing yourself into that god awful job. It’s not going to make you forget her,” Jason snapped. I knew he was right, but my heart wouldn’t admit that. My heart wouldn’t admit that it ached for her to come back, to spend the rest of our lives together.
“I know that, Jason. I fucking know that, but it helps a hell of a lot,” I snapped back, all that pent up anger finally coming out.
“She’s not coming back, Kyber. Get used to that. Adrienne’s gone!”
“You don’t know that!”
“She’s not coming back. Stop hoping.”
“Just let me be!”
“Not when you’re hurting yourself!”
“I haven’t hurt myself,” I snarled back at him. My heart was screaming at me to stop this, it wasn’t helping anyone.
“That’s a big line of bullshit and you know it.”
“Just shut up, okay? Just shut up!”
His face suddenly turned sincere, all anger evaporating from between us.
“Kyber, I’m sorry, but it just hurts me because I know Adrienne really hurt you by leaving you like that, but you need to move on, find yourself another girl that treats you ten times better than she did,” he pulled my hand into his, stroking the back of my hand with his thumb.
“Jase, I can’t. It doesn’t get any better than her,” I frowned at my coffee, stirring it with my free hand.
“You just haven’t found it yet.”
I bit my lip, pulling my hand from his.
“I’ve got to get to work. I’ll call you tomorrow,” I gathered my phone and keys from the table and high tailed it out of the Starbucks.
My mind was racing as I turned onto the high way. The radio was loud, drowning out at least some of the thoughts pushing into my head.
She never loved you.
You were just a rebound.
You were a waste of her time.
I closed my eyes for a brief moment, but little did I know, it was my biggest mistake.