Status: In Progress
It's Gonna Be Hard When I'm Gone
Waking Up And Wishing It Was In Your Arms
I don’t even remember the pain of crashing my car, but it seems that it happened. The next time I opened my eyes, I was staring at a hospital wall. There were beeps coming from every which direction, and a nurse scribbling things onto a chart with my name at the top.
The TV was playing the lacrosse channel, courtesy of Jason, no doubt.
“What the fuck?” I managed through my dry throat. Had they been trying to dehydrate me? The bastards.
“Oh, you’re awake,” the RN turned to face me, looking up from the chart before her head dropped back down, scribbling more shit down.
“No, really?” I rolled my eyes, pushing my head further back into the pillow. Why couldn’t I drown in this thing?
“Oh, you’re one of those patients. Lovely, just lovely,” the nurse laughed before setting the chart down.
“You’ve got a minor concussion and a broken wrist. The other people involved in the accident made it out with no injuries other than a few scrapes and bruises. Your head hit the steering wheel and your wrist was broken from the impact of it hitting the dash board. In a minor breakdown, you’ve got a cast and you’re probably got a headache. Water?” she asked, stepping into the hallway and coming back with a Dixie cup half way filled with tap water. She handed me a straw and set the cup in the hand that wasn’t in the cast.
I took a sip, cringing. Water was not my thing. I liked my coffee and caffeine.
“Can I get some black coffee, please?”
“Tomorrow morning, maybe. For now, watch TV or go to sleep.”
With those final words, she scurried off.
I had a few visitors during the day. Jason, my parents, my brothers and my sister, but none of them were the one person I wanted to see.
She never showed up. I went to sleep that night, aching to sleep next to her and I couldn’t. And I hated that. I hated the fact that she was somebody else’s now. I couldn’t hold her, kiss her or fall asleep next to her.
I think I also hated whoever it was that captured her heart. I hated them more than anything, but then again, maybe that was just my own self loathing.
She was in my dreams that night. And it felt as if it was real, just like she was there; whispering in my ear, telling me it’d all be okay if I just held on a little bit longer, let the bad times fall away from me.
My chest was aching when I woke up, but I’m sure it was all in my head. My heart was hurting, missing her. I couldn’t wait to get back to work, dive into it full force away from the hell my reality had morphed into.
Jason visited me, but didn’t stay long. He told me he’d talked to Adrienne and that she was doing okay, but was still single. I was a little shocked, because I figured the break up had something to do with her finding someone else, but as it turns out, there wasn’t another person.
My mind was running in circles trying to find a reason why she’d leave me other than someone else. I couldn’t find a reason that seemed sensible. We’d always had the best relationship, honest, trusting and loving in every way. So what went wrong?
The TV was playing the lacrosse channel, courtesy of Jason, no doubt.
“What the fuck?” I managed through my dry throat. Had they been trying to dehydrate me? The bastards.
“Oh, you’re awake,” the RN turned to face me, looking up from the chart before her head dropped back down, scribbling more shit down.
“No, really?” I rolled my eyes, pushing my head further back into the pillow. Why couldn’t I drown in this thing?
“Oh, you’re one of those patients. Lovely, just lovely,” the nurse laughed before setting the chart down.
“You’ve got a minor concussion and a broken wrist. The other people involved in the accident made it out with no injuries other than a few scrapes and bruises. Your head hit the steering wheel and your wrist was broken from the impact of it hitting the dash board. In a minor breakdown, you’ve got a cast and you’re probably got a headache. Water?” she asked, stepping into the hallway and coming back with a Dixie cup half way filled with tap water. She handed me a straw and set the cup in the hand that wasn’t in the cast.
I took a sip, cringing. Water was not my thing. I liked my coffee and caffeine.
“Can I get some black coffee, please?”
“Tomorrow morning, maybe. For now, watch TV or go to sleep.”
With those final words, she scurried off.
I had a few visitors during the day. Jason, my parents, my brothers and my sister, but none of them were the one person I wanted to see.
She never showed up. I went to sleep that night, aching to sleep next to her and I couldn’t. And I hated that. I hated the fact that she was somebody else’s now. I couldn’t hold her, kiss her or fall asleep next to her.
I think I also hated whoever it was that captured her heart. I hated them more than anything, but then again, maybe that was just my own self loathing.
She was in my dreams that night. And it felt as if it was real, just like she was there; whispering in my ear, telling me it’d all be okay if I just held on a little bit longer, let the bad times fall away from me.
My chest was aching when I woke up, but I’m sure it was all in my head. My heart was hurting, missing her. I couldn’t wait to get back to work, dive into it full force away from the hell my reality had morphed into.
Jason visited me, but didn’t stay long. He told me he’d talked to Adrienne and that she was doing okay, but was still single. I was a little shocked, because I figured the break up had something to do with her finding someone else, but as it turns out, there wasn’t another person.
My mind was running in circles trying to find a reason why she’d leave me other than someone else. I couldn’t find a reason that seemed sensible. We’d always had the best relationship, honest, trusting and loving in every way. So what went wrong?