Status: In Progress
It's Gonna Be Hard When I'm Gone
I Am Still Painting Flowers For You
I went to bed that night, Adrienne's side of the bed still made, perfectly in tact. I grabbed the book of my night stand and read for a little while, before deciding if I didn't try to sleep now, I would get no sleep tonight. I tossed the book back into the drawer and settled myself into the mattress. It didn't feel the same. This whole place didn't even feel like home anymore. The whole apartment just seemed empty. The furniture and everything was still here, but the memories were just gone. I suppose that was my fault, though. I'd blocked them out. Why should I remember when she wanted to forget? I drifted off into sleep with the thought still ringing through my head.
When I awoke, I found Jason sitting on her side of the bed. I think I had a mini-heart attack when I saw a figure sitting there, but then I remembered I'd given him a key.
“Hey, Ky. How're you doin'?” he asked, concern etched into his features.
“I'm holdin' up. How're you and Alex doing?” I maneuvered myself around to face him, my elbow rested on my pillow, and my head rested on my hand.
“We're great, really great. He's so good to me,” Jason smiled, his eyes drifting off.
I snapped my fingers. “Come back to me, my pretty. Get out of love land.”
“Sorry, Ky. So, have you talked to her?”
“No, and I don't plan on it.”
“She called me last night. She was crying.”
My heart sank. Why was he telling me this? Why should I care? Why did I care?
“She said that it hurts her more than she lets on. She misses you, Ky. She misses you as much as you miss her.”
“I'm not going back to her,” I said, trying to convince myself that I wouldn't be waiting with open arms, should she come back to me.
“That's a lie and you know it,” he deadpanned.
“I know...” I turned my gaze to the ceiling. Could I forgive her for this? Hadn't I already?
“Do you want me to call her and talk to her for you?” he asked, reaching for my hand to hold. I interlocked my fingers into his.
“No, no. I can't. Not yet.”
“You should hang out with Maddox today. She could help you get your mind off this. Besides, it's been awhile since you've even called her,” Jason suggested, a smile on his face.
“I think I'll do that.”
Jason soon left, muttering about how he was late to a lunch date with Alex. I had my morning coffee and decided I'd call Maddox and see if she was available today. It was, after all, Saturday.
“Hello?” she said in a sing-song voice.
“Hey, Maddie. How're you?” I asked, remembering how bubbly she was sometimes.
“Ky! It's been awhile! I'm good, I'm definitely good. How're you doing? I heard about Adrienne, and I'm so sorry to hear that!” she rambled.
“I'm doin' as good as I can right now. Don't worry about Adrienne, I'll get over it. No big deal. Hey, anyway, what I was calling about, are you free to hang out today? Y'know, to get my mind off stuff,” I asked, taking a sip of the coffee, cringing at the bitter taste. More sugar.
“I am free at 5 PM. Maybe we could catch a movie? Alice in Wonderland sound good?”
“Sounds great. I'll meet you at AMC at 5:30?”
“See you then!”
With that, she hung up. I felt a sense of happiness rising. I was starting my life over. I was rekindling friendships that I'd let be forgotten as I became consumed in all that Adrienne was to me. I felt better, knowing I had friends that could be there for me when I needed them, even if I hadn't been the best friend to them.
I used my sudden happy demeanor to be productive. I cleaned up the mess that my apartment had turned itself into in the prior weeks. The dishes needed tended to, the laundry needed dried and the carpet needed vacuumed, as well as my room needing to be cleaned. The clothes scattered about my floor was not like me.
As I collected the dirty laundry off my floor, I heard the doorbell ring. I dumped the heavy load into the basket and carted it into the living room, tossing it onto the couch, cursing as it spilled onto the coffee table.
I attempted to look through the peephole on the door, but whoever was at the door was not able to be seen through it.
I sighed as I unlocked it and opened it. My jaw hit the floor as I saw my visitor.
“What the flying fuck are you doing here?”
My unexpected guest let out a quiet chuckle as they stepped in.
When I awoke, I found Jason sitting on her side of the bed. I think I had a mini-heart attack when I saw a figure sitting there, but then I remembered I'd given him a key.
“Hey, Ky. How're you doin'?” he asked, concern etched into his features.
“I'm holdin' up. How're you and Alex doing?” I maneuvered myself around to face him, my elbow rested on my pillow, and my head rested on my hand.
“We're great, really great. He's so good to me,” Jason smiled, his eyes drifting off.
I snapped my fingers. “Come back to me, my pretty. Get out of love land.”
“Sorry, Ky. So, have you talked to her?”
“No, and I don't plan on it.”
“She called me last night. She was crying.”
My heart sank. Why was he telling me this? Why should I care? Why did I care?
“She said that it hurts her more than she lets on. She misses you, Ky. She misses you as much as you miss her.”
“I'm not going back to her,” I said, trying to convince myself that I wouldn't be waiting with open arms, should she come back to me.
“That's a lie and you know it,” he deadpanned.
“I know...” I turned my gaze to the ceiling. Could I forgive her for this? Hadn't I already?
“Do you want me to call her and talk to her for you?” he asked, reaching for my hand to hold. I interlocked my fingers into his.
“No, no. I can't. Not yet.”
“You should hang out with Maddox today. She could help you get your mind off this. Besides, it's been awhile since you've even called her,” Jason suggested, a smile on his face.
“I think I'll do that.”
Jason soon left, muttering about how he was late to a lunch date with Alex. I had my morning coffee and decided I'd call Maddox and see if she was available today. It was, after all, Saturday.
“Hello?” she said in a sing-song voice.
“Hey, Maddie. How're you?” I asked, remembering how bubbly she was sometimes.
“Ky! It's been awhile! I'm good, I'm definitely good. How're you doing? I heard about Adrienne, and I'm so sorry to hear that!” she rambled.
“I'm doin' as good as I can right now. Don't worry about Adrienne, I'll get over it. No big deal. Hey, anyway, what I was calling about, are you free to hang out today? Y'know, to get my mind off stuff,” I asked, taking a sip of the coffee, cringing at the bitter taste. More sugar.
“I am free at 5 PM. Maybe we could catch a movie? Alice in Wonderland sound good?”
“Sounds great. I'll meet you at AMC at 5:30?”
“See you then!”
With that, she hung up. I felt a sense of happiness rising. I was starting my life over. I was rekindling friendships that I'd let be forgotten as I became consumed in all that Adrienne was to me. I felt better, knowing I had friends that could be there for me when I needed them, even if I hadn't been the best friend to them.
I used my sudden happy demeanor to be productive. I cleaned up the mess that my apartment had turned itself into in the prior weeks. The dishes needed tended to, the laundry needed dried and the carpet needed vacuumed, as well as my room needing to be cleaned. The clothes scattered about my floor was not like me.
As I collected the dirty laundry off my floor, I heard the doorbell ring. I dumped the heavy load into the basket and carted it into the living room, tossing it onto the couch, cursing as it spilled onto the coffee table.
I attempted to look through the peephole on the door, but whoever was at the door was not able to be seen through it.
I sighed as I unlocked it and opened it. My jaw hit the floor as I saw my visitor.
“What the flying fuck are you doing here?”
My unexpected guest let out a quiet chuckle as they stepped in.