Status: Thank you for reading!
The Long Journey Ahead
All The Therapy In The World Couldn't Make Me Feel Any Better
It's been roughly a week. Been crying the whole week but yeah. Frank's mom is a nurse and Frank has school, which leaves me all alone in their house until 4 pm. It gets lonely as hell and at times, I want to kill myself for being such a stupid idiot.
Bad thoughts, bad thoughts. Mrs. Iero keeps telling me she'll move things around in the extra room they have so that I can have my own bedroom. I keep telling her no, feeling all too guilty that I'm already another mouth to feed.
The week's been hard. I can't sleep at night because images of mom, Alex, and Katrina keep popping up. That always made my heart hurt even more. At times, it was an unbearable sadness. I had to resort to curling myself up in a fetal position to stop the pain. It worked, for a little bit anyways.
I checked the clock again. It finally struck 4:00 pm. I'm begging for someone to come home here. I can't stand being alone anymore. It just makes me think even more. And thinking is not so great right now for me.
As though my thoughts came true, bursting through the door was a rain soaked Frank. He looked hysterical and panicked. "What's wrong?" I asked.
He walked over to me and handed me a paper. I looked at him confused before reading the paper. Holy shit.
I read it over and over again. They couldn't have known. Could they? I wanted to call his name but it came down to a measly whimper. "Frank..."
Immediately he was by my side, hugging me close to his body. I clung onto his arms, terrified to let go. "Jes, you're going to have to change how you look," he whispered into my hair.
I unhooked myself and looked at him. "What do you mean change how I look?"
He eyed my features for a while, contemplating. He ran his fingers through my long black hair, cupped my cheeks in his hands (making me close my eyes), and traced my lips with his thumb. He took a long sigh. "You're getting blue contacts, snakebites, and your hair is changing to red."
My eyes fluttered open again and I looked at him like he was crazy. In that instant I jumped out of my seat. "Are you crazy?! I'm not getting snakebites and dying my hair! The contacts I can understand because I have glasses but I'm not changing who I am!"
He was staring at me like I was crazy. Or maybe that was sympathy in his eyes. "You aren't changing who you are. You're just changing how you look physically. Do you want them to find you?"
I opened my mouth but closed it. He continued on, "If they do find you, I can promise you that you would never be able to see daylight again. You'll get locked in your room and I'm sure the police are going to get involved."
What he said made a lot of sense. Too much sense. I wanted to argue but I couldn't think of anything. The best thing I came up with was, "Who gave you this paper?"
My words took him by surprise. "Well," he sighed, "She had wavy black hair with brown in it. She had green and white Nike shoes on, skinny jeans, and a plain black tee."
"Oh my god." The tears welled up in my eyes. That's Katrina! But how did she know I'd end up in Belleville? I'm dying to see her. I miss her so much.
"You can't," Frank sadly said. It's as though he was reading my thoughts. Shit, shit, shit! I'm going to have to do this.
"Fine, I'll do it," I finally muttered. I'll really do anything at the risk of not getting caught. Of being able to be closer to Frank. Wait, no! I can't think like that! He has a girlfriend. A girlfriend that I would kill just so I could have him...Oh my god! Brain stop! See what thinking does to me?
Bad thoughts, bad thoughts. Mrs. Iero keeps telling me she'll move things around in the extra room they have so that I can have my own bedroom. I keep telling her no, feeling all too guilty that I'm already another mouth to feed.
The week's been hard. I can't sleep at night because images of mom, Alex, and Katrina keep popping up. That always made my heart hurt even more. At times, it was an unbearable sadness. I had to resort to curling myself up in a fetal position to stop the pain. It worked, for a little bit anyways.
I checked the clock again. It finally struck 4:00 pm. I'm begging for someone to come home here. I can't stand being alone anymore. It just makes me think even more. And thinking is not so great right now for me.
As though my thoughts came true, bursting through the door was a rain soaked Frank. He looked hysterical and panicked. "What's wrong?" I asked.
He walked over to me and handed me a paper. I looked at him confused before reading the paper. Holy shit.
I read it over and over again. They couldn't have known. Could they? I wanted to call his name but it came down to a measly whimper. "Frank..."
Immediately he was by my side, hugging me close to his body. I clung onto his arms, terrified to let go. "Jes, you're going to have to change how you look," he whispered into my hair.
I unhooked myself and looked at him. "What do you mean change how I look?"
He eyed my features for a while, contemplating. He ran his fingers through my long black hair, cupped my cheeks in his hands (making me close my eyes), and traced my lips with his thumb. He took a long sigh. "You're getting blue contacts, snakebites, and your hair is changing to red."
My eyes fluttered open again and I looked at him like he was crazy. In that instant I jumped out of my seat. "Are you crazy?! I'm not getting snakebites and dying my hair! The contacts I can understand because I have glasses but I'm not changing who I am!"
He was staring at me like I was crazy. Or maybe that was sympathy in his eyes. "You aren't changing who you are. You're just changing how you look physically. Do you want them to find you?"
I opened my mouth but closed it. He continued on, "If they do find you, I can promise you that you would never be able to see daylight again. You'll get locked in your room and I'm sure the police are going to get involved."
What he said made a lot of sense. Too much sense. I wanted to argue but I couldn't think of anything. The best thing I came up with was, "Who gave you this paper?"
My words took him by surprise. "Well," he sighed, "She had wavy black hair with brown in it. She had green and white Nike shoes on, skinny jeans, and a plain black tee."
"Oh my god." The tears welled up in my eyes. That's Katrina! But how did she know I'd end up in Belleville? I'm dying to see her. I miss her so much.
"You can't," Frank sadly said. It's as though he was reading my thoughts. Shit, shit, shit! I'm going to have to do this.
"Fine, I'll do it," I finally muttered. I'll really do anything at the risk of not getting caught. Of being able to be closer to Frank. Wait, no! I can't think like that! He has a girlfriend. A girlfriend that I would kill just so I could have him...Oh my god! Brain stop! See what thinking does to me?