The Long Journey Ahead

"I don't want to do this. Don't make me do it."

I had been saying those exact words for the past however long we had been walking. He acted as though I didn't say anything and tugged on my hand more. It might have been a smart idea if I just let go off his hand, but I didn't want to. Why would I let go when I had Frank Iero? Exactly.

"I don't want to do this. Don't make me do it," I repeated once again.

The sight of the train station made me gulp. I stopped walking and squeezed Frank's hand. "Please, I don't want to go," I pleaded, feeling the start of tears.

That was when he finally acknowledged me. The asshole! He won't respond to me until I'm crying?

"What's wrong?" he asked, hugging me.

How could he not know? He was one of the people that experienced it first hand those years back. I guess he forgets easily. The same wasn't for me though. I wish I could forget.

I kicked a pebble that was near my foot. Even though my head was facing the ground, I could tell that Frank was staring at me. I just had the feeling.

I cleared my throat and tugged at my sweater sleeve. Why was this so hard? It really shouldn't be. I need to get over this. "The train station," I mumbled, "they're memories of everything."

Before I could really register it, he cupped my face in his hands and kissed my lips, adding tongue into it. For the most part, I let him do what he wanted to do. It's not like I didn't enjoy it anyways.

After Frank stopped kissing me, his hands remained on my face. If he held my cheeks any firmer, I would make a fishy face at him.

"You would never run again would you?" he whispered.

I gasped and gulped. That really stung. "No!" I screamed. "Why is it so hard for you to understand? I'm finally happy! It's been four years hasn't it? What happened to the trust?"

I slapped his hands away and stomped my way towards the train station entrance.

"Jes wait! You don't have to do it if you don't want to!" Frank said, running towards me.

"Shut up, I am now," I growled.

I was now determined to march right up to that house and get it all done with. The entire ride back to my hometown, words and harsh comments swirled in my head. A few seemed much harsher than others and I decided I would use those.

Katrina told me the address of the house my parents were living in. We were only a few houses away before I would have to face my past. I can't do this, I really can't.

I turned around and tried to run but Frank pushed me, literally. In a few moments, I was facing the door to my parents' home. How I thought I would be able to do this was beyond me. I obviously didn't have the strength to.

Yet, somehow, I was able to ring the doorbell. I swallowed many times before the door opened. A frail woman with wisps of white hair appeared before the door. She gave me a strange look before the tears rimmed her eyes.

"Jessica?" she whispered.

"Mommy," I wailed, hugging her. We stood there and cried for a few minutes, leaving Frank standing by the side, all awkward like. Eventually, I pulled myself together and took a shaky breath.

Mom led me into the house with Frank behind me. I caught a quick glance of him. His head was to the floor, nervous looking.

I walked by the kitchen and towards the living room where a man was sitting on the couch watching soccer and eating peanuts. The growl that was waiting to explode from my throat slipped through. He turned around with a beer in hand.

"What the hell are you doing here? You aren't welcome," he said, standing up from his seat.

The hatred I had built up for years helped me with my smart remarks. "No one asked you. And I'm positive you're not paying the rent either you cheap skate asshole abuser."

He took a step forward, most likely hoping I would cringe back. It was too bad I didn't. I had learned to overcome my fear of my bastard father. He looked so surprised when I stood my ground.

I wondered if he was going to try to hit me or something. Then again, I wasn't a teenager anymore so I could fight back if I needed to. Frank was also here by my side if anything.

"I'm still the man of the house. Get out," he stated, pointing to the door.

I nodded my head and tipped my head to him. If that was the best he could do, that was fine with me.

I grabbed Frank's hand and made my way back towards the door. Before I left, though, I said with such hate that I could've sworn it scared him, "I will leave. I just want to say I hope you burn in Hell you fucking bitch."

Mom stood at the door with tears in her eyes again.

"I'm sorry mommy," I said before giving her a kiss on the cheek and leaving the house for maybe good this time.