The Long Journey Ahead

Frank woke me up the next morning with a kiss on the forehead. It effectively made me grin and kiss him back. Just how much he adored me was enough to make me feel butterflies in my stomach.

I groaned as I rolled to my side on the bed so I was looking at him. "Do I have to go to this?" I questioned.

"Yes, you do. Your mom and sisters are going to be there. It's respectful," he explained.

"What's your point? I didn't have respect for him and he didn't have any for me. What respect should I show?"

"Stop being hardheaded. Just go. It's an excuse to see your mom and sisters again."

"Fine, fine," I sighed.

After the both of us had breakfast and found black clothing and shoes to wear, we climbed into Frank's car and drove to my mom's house.

When we reached our destination, there were a few cars parked in the driveway. I didn't know whose cars they belonged to but I really didn't care.

Once I slammed the car door shut, the front door to the house opened and Katrina ran out with a tissue in her hands.

"Oh Jes!" she cried, crying against my shoulder.

I hugged her and rubbed her back. "It's okay sweetie. It's okay."

"Yeah," she sniffled. "I'm sorry you had to come. I know how much resentment you had for him."

"It's okay Kat, it really is. I'm here for you guys," I explained, watching her wipe her blood shot eyes. How could she love that man?

"Still, it was wrong of Alex to speak that way towards you," she said sternly.

"I don't mind. We don't get along and I couldn't care less. I just care about you and mom. Where's it held?"

She pointed over my shoulder to the cemetery a few blocks away. I nodded and walked over there with Frank. How could I not have seen that place? It was huge!

Frank picked a flower and gave it to me to hold. I raised my eyebrow.

"To throw on top of the coffin," he whispered, intertwining our fingers together.

A man stood at the entrance of the cemetery, pointing us towards the right direction. I had never walked in a cemetery before; to be honest, I felt watched. How silly does that sound? Dead people watch me. Still, I had this nagging feeling that Frank and I weren't alone here.

We walked closer and closer to the funeral site where I spotted a group of people standing beside an ornately decorated coffin. If it were up to me, he wouldn't even have the pleasure of "resting in peace" in such a nice place as that. I would've let the undertaker dig a ditch and throw the man's deceased body in there. The bitch deserved it.

Mom saw me and rushed over, giving him a big hug. People were going to do that a lot today, aren't they?

Frank let go of my hand and walked towards the coffin, leaving me alone with mom.

"I'm so very sorry," she whispered.

"What for?" I asked quietly.

She detached herself from me and held my face with her hands. She gave me a long look before kissing my forehead.

"You know," she began, "I was never able to tell you how beautiful you've grown up to be. My baby is 20 years old! 20! And I haven't been there for you in four long years. I've always wanted to with Katrina to visit you, I really wanted to, but your father would never let me. He said that I shouldn't talk to a traitor. Oh baby, I am so sorry."

I told myself I wasn't going to cry today. I wouldn't let him have the satisfaction of seeing tears stream from my eyes. I hate when my plans don't work out.

The words mom said struck a nerve. I had forgiven her, but I still felt lost. Why couldn't my mom see me once in awhile? Katrina would whenever she could; sometimes she would at the earliest hours in the morning because I had work later that day.

How stupid is it that my own father never let my mother go? Then people wonder why I hated him so much. He purposely made it so I was never able to keep contact with anyone I love. To hell with it, I'm happy he's fucking gone.

Mom led me towards the coffin was it was lowered into the ground. I threw the flower Frank picked and gave to me before into the hole.

As the coffin stopped at its destination six feet under the ground, I felt this great release. Nothing would ever bind me from my loved ones anymore. This long journey finally reached home.