The Long Journey Ahead

After Frank told me about Darren planning to give me a present, I kept a watchful eye on him. He did seem to look at me a lot. The times when I caught him in a stare, he would stare back before breaking the invisible connection and smile.

This all felt so weird. I will admit that Darren is cute. There are other guys hotter than he is but he does have a special feature that makes him attractive. That happened to be his smile. It was big, bright, and addicting. I know someone else who has a really pretty smile too...

Oh boy. I really need to stop thinking about Frank. It's not okay that I like him. It's not okay that I wish he would be playful with me again like he used to. It's not okay that Casey's here.

She gave me weird glares from time to time. Does she hate me? Did I do something to her? The only thing I could think of was that I like Frank but no one knows but I.

When it was a millisecond before 10 pm, I ran out the shop as fast as I could. Frank could walk home on his own. I've been giving him the silent treatment for weeks for forgetting my birthday. Is it immature? Probably. Do I care? Most definitely not.

The cold wind started biting at my cheeks. I moved my scarf around, trying to protect my face. This cold weather needs to end soon. I like spring.

"Jes wait up!" I turned my shoulder, seeing Casey run to my direction. I groaned inwardly.

Suck it up Jes. "Hey Casey."

"Do you want to have a sleepover tonight?"

"Tonight?"

"Yeah!"

"S-sure."

What I really wanted to say was "Hell no!" but I couldn't be that mean. It's not in me to be a bitch. So now, I'm stuck in my room with Casey here too.

Maybe Frank would come save me and take her away. I had no such luck. He was at a friend's house for the night as well.

We sat around, silent for the longest time. If she wanted to ask me something, she might as well do it now. I don't have patience and I'm really close to flipping out on her.

After waiting a little bit more, I sighed and headed for the door.

"Why did you come here?"

Oh hell. I turned around, looking into her eyes. She was curious and there was some sadness in there but most of it was curiosity. I sat back down, facing her.

"You know that I ran away because of my father right?" She nodded her head. "Okay, well I never told the full story. That night, the night I got here and stayed permanently, something happened back at my old home."

I sucked in a breath, feeling my eyes getting watery. I didn't want to cry, I didn't want to tell her this. She asked though, and it's only fair I don't lie to her. "That night, I got my report card. I had one B+ in Art and he started flipping out. He said some awful things. Out of which, I remember him telling me that I'm going to grow up with a dead-end job with no husband and home and that I'm going to be a miserable little bitch.

"For once in my life, I stepped up to him and told him to shut the fuck up; at least I got to high school. He didn't. I guess I went over the edge. He pinned me to the wall, almost choking me to death.

"My sisters and mom were there, just looking at us. They didn't say or do anything. They just watched." I touched my throat, still being able to feel his grip on my neck. I shuddered and walked over to my bed.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," I mumbled, facing the wall.

The bed sunk. I knew it was Casey. I didn't want to see her. She understood without me saying anything. Instead, she played with my hair for a while.

"Jes...have you ever told anyone else this?" she asked in a small voice.

I shook my head. "They just know that he said I'm useless and should die. They don't know I could have actually been killed."

By they, I meant Frank and Mrs. Iero. Why should they know? What good would it do? They can't change the past. I wish things didn't turn out that way but it happened. There's nothing else I can do about it. I just have to live with my memories.