There's Too Much Green To Feel Blue

"What's for breakfast today, Peter?" Sam asked.
It was a Saturday morning and she was stretched out on the couch, texting away. Peter stood behind the counter and surveyed her. She wore a blue leggings, a jean skirt and a green shirt with black flats.
"Um..." Peter rummaged around the kitchen, "Toast?"
"Ugh." Sam groaned disgusted, "I'll make breakfast then, Patrick Star." she said getting up.
She made her way to the kitchen and playfully shoved a pajama clad Peter, "Let a proffesional take over the kitchen, dork."
She opened his fridge and gasped, "Holy Valient Thorr!" She straightened up and turned to Peter, "Peter, you're a refrigerator is sad again!" she scolded.
"It's not sad!" Peter protested.
"You're right, it's not sad, it's depressed." Sam said, "And not the 'boo-hoo, I'm sad' kind of depressed, the 'I'm about to throw myself off a cliff' depressed. The 'stand back, I'm about to splatter on the ground' kind of depressed." she placed her hands on her hips, "Seriously, you can't afford to keep your fridge like this with a daughter in the house." she turned to Lily in the living room,"Lily, tell me what you ate for dinner!"
"Lily, don't tell her what you ate for dinner!" Peter cried.
"Cereal!" Lily chirped.
"Damn it." Peter whispered, "Lily, we need a code word."
"Cereal? Ugh, that does it, Peter. I'm so angry I could...eat a moose!"
Peter gasped, "Don't drag a moose into this!"
"I'll moose you!" Sam shot.
"Okay, okay, I fed her cereal, sue me." Peter said shrugging.
"See you in court." Sam said. She patted his arm, "Go get dressed, we're going shopping."
"Aw, do we have to?" Peter whined, "It's Saturday!"
"Peter, your fridge is about to blow it's brain out! It wants you to put things in its belly." she pointed at her stomach, "Come on, get ready, I'll get Lily ready." Sam said.
""What about breakfast?" Peter asked.
"I'll bring something from my place and have Lily ready by the time you've finished dressing." Sam said.
Peter thought for a second, "How do you always make me go along with the things I don't want to do?"
"Make you? I don't 'make you' do anything." Sam said.
She headed to the living room for Lily.
"Yes, you do, you use something!" Peter accused.
Sam turned halfway between the living room and kitchen and looked at Peter, "Use something? Use what?"
"I don't know, your sexy charm." Peter said.
Sam gave a short laugh, "My sexy charm?" she laughed.
"Or maybe it's your ugly face!" Peter shot.
"Well if my face is so ugly, why don't you stop looking at it?" Sam shot back.
"I...can't." Peter said letting his guard down.
There was a few seconds of silence. Sam crossed her arms, "Peter, go to your room and get ready." she said, a smile playing on her lips, "And don't bitch, it's just the grocery store."
Peter turned and shuffled into his room.
"And I'll tell you another thing, if you keep it up, I'll make us go shoe shopping." Sam called, "I'll use my sexy charm."
Peter grinned as he slipped into his room.
Going to the grocery store with Sam was always fun. She always had to examine all the products and use them in a sentence to see if it was suitable. And she always made fun of the slogans and logos of the products. She once had a laughing fit at a mouth wash logo that read : It goes great in your mouth.
Once at the store, Sam immediately loaded the cart with all the veggies the store carried. Sam always bought vegetables Peter had never seen. He never had to touch them since Sam prepared his dinner most of the time. She always said his veggie lifestyle was boring and that he needed to eat more interesting vegetarian things. When she finished with the vegetables, they moved onto the instant food aisle. Sam pushed the cart with Lily on it and browsed. Peter walked alongside her. She stopped in front of a box of noodles.
"Hmm," she picked up the box and examined it, " 'Homestyle Noodles'." she frowned at the box, "What are you eating for dinner, Sam? I'm having some 'Homestyle Noodles' tonight." Sam's frown deepened, "It doesn't convince me." she put the box back.
Peter chuckled. How could he have not wanted to come a few moments ago?
"What do you want, Lily?" Sam asked.
"Jello!" Lily said throwing her arms up.
"Oh, J-E-L-L-O! You're right!" Sam said excitedly. She immediately began to push the cart.
"Jello?" Peter asked.
"Yeah." Sam said, " 'It's alive!' "
Peter laughed. Sam pushed the cart fast down the empty aisle and jumped onto the bottom basket so they sailed away.
"Wooo!" Sam cheered.
Lily giggled excitedly and Pete laughed as he chased them down. Sam put a foot down and stopped the speeding cart and made her way to the jello. She immediately grabbed three red packs.
"Red jello?" Peter asked.
"Red jello rocks." Sam said looking at him like he were crazy, "Keep up, Peter." she patted his cheek.
"Keep up with what?" Peter grinned.
"With my awesomeness." Sam said.
They passed by the fruit and Sam was all over it. She went straigth to the grapes and grabbed two bags.
"Purple," she raised the left bag, "or green?" she raised the other bag, "I do love my purple, but I do love my green."
Peter smiled at her indecisiveness.
"Is there really a difference? Does the color really make a difference in the taste?" she asked.
She looked at Peter for an answer. Peter shook his head and shrugged.
"The one question no one but God himself can answer." she stared at the bags, "And me, too, I'm about to find out!" she tore open the bags and stuffed three green grapes into her mouth.
"Sam, what are you doing?" Peter grabbed the bag of green grapes.
"Can you do that, daddy?" Lily asked peering over the cart.
"No, that's stealing." Peter said. He turned to Sam, "Did you hear that? It's stealing." he said to her as she opened the other bag and stuffed her mouth with purple grapes.
"Oh, stop being such a platypus." she said.
"A plat-?" Peter began but Sam stuffed two grapes into his mouth.
"Ha, you're strealing too, thief!" Sam said. She turned to the grapes, "Ugh, I can't tell the difference, let's just buy raisins."
But she threw the bags of grapes into the basket and continued on their way. She stopped in front of a display of watermelons. She picked one up and placed it to her ear.
"Help me, Peter, can you hear the ocean?" she asked.
She handed him the watermelon and he held it up to his ear. He listened carefully.
"Yeah, I do hear the ocean." Peter grinned. He lowered the fruit.
"Really?" Sam asked, "How? It's fruit!" she grabbed the watermelon and put it back, "You can hear the ocean in a watermelon? You're crazy." Sam said as Peter laughed hysterically.
She hummed loudly and pushed the cart out of the fruit and into the aisle with the cakes.
"Remember that mush cake you tried to kill me with?" Sam asked as she studied the boxes.
Peter frowned, crossed his arms and pouted, "Yes." he muttered.
"Was this what it was supposed to look like?" Sam pulled down a box and laughed.
"I tried really hard on that cake!" Peter said indignantly.
"Not hard enough." Sam teased.
"Hard....your face!" Peter cried.
Sam turned to him, "Your culo is hard!"
"My what?" Peter said.
Sam grinned, "Nothing." she looked around, "Ooh, everyone's staring."
Peter looked around, and sure enough, there were people giving them curious stares. Even Lily was giving Peter a 'what-just-happened?' look.
"You notice that people will always turn and look if they hear a word they like?" Sam asked.
Sam looked at Lily and motioned for her to cover her ears, "Earmuffs."
Lily covered her ears. Sam turned, walked to the middle of the aisle, took a deep breath and yelled, "SEX!"
Every man's head immediately whipped toward Sam. She grinned, giggled and waved at them all.
"Sam!" Peter laughed, "Get over here!" he placed an arm around her waist and pulled her toward the cart, "You...crazy lady." Peter stammered, not knowing what else to say.
"Wow, you're really one for the comebacks." Sam said sarcastically, "Besides, I'm not the one who hears an entire ocean inside a watermelon!"
She pretended to turn around and conceitedly and walked off.
Next, was the cleaning aisle.
"Soap, soap, you need soap!" Sam said. She walked on her tip toes and pushed the cart.
"Soap?" Peter asked.
"Soap for the dishwasher." Sam explained going down the aisle.
"Soap!" Lily cried throwing her hands up.
"You're my dishwasher." Peter said.
Sam stopped the cart and looked at Peter, "I don't always wash the dishes!" she said indignantly, "And with that attitude, no one will wash your anything, any time, any where, any place, any how." Sam snapped and then continued to walk.
"Okay!" Peter raised up his hands and laughed at her snippiness.
"Soap!" Lily cheered again.
"Look, a green one." Sam stopped and picked up the bottle.
She turned to Peter and posed with the bottle in her hand, like a game show model. "Get the bacteria moving from your dishes." Sam put on an announcer's voice.
Pete laughed.
"This one should be good for you." Sam said placing it in the cart.
They continued walking around the store. Sam threw in as much food as possible into the cart. But after an hour and a half, Sam was satisfied.
"Just one more thing." she said as she turned into the cereal aisle.
Peter raised an eyebrow at her, "Cereal?" he asked.
"Yes, I'm going to buy Lily cereal." Sam said looking at him through bright eyes, "And none of this boring cereal, oh no, I am going to buy something good, something from back in my day."
The cereal aisle was long but Peter followed as Sam pushed the cart and studied every cerel box.
"They made a Hannah Montana cereal? What, does it make you date underwear models, give you big gums and make you hate asians?....They made a High School Musical cereal, too? Don't even get me started....No way, it's Cinnamon Toast Crunch!" Sam cried pulling out the box, " 'The Taste You Can See'! I'm taking this one for myself." she placed it in the back of the cart.
They reached the very end of the aisle. Sam pulled out another box and examined it, while Peter went to the end of the cart to rearrange the things.
"Hmm, I don't know. There was one back there that could suit Lily, but this one is good and healthy," Sam said looking down at the cereal box, " and the jingle's not so bad either." she paused, "Honey and oats, honey and oats, it's honey and oats! Honey and oats!" Sam sang.
There was a small chuckle from behind her, on the far right. Sam turned and looked. A man that was the spinning image of Robert, except with long, dirty black hair and no glasses, was smiling at her. He was standing next to a couple that looked a few years older.
Sam grinned at the guy, "Hi." she said brightly.
"Hi." the boy said with interest.
Frowning, Peter went to Sam and slid an arm around her waist. He looked at the guy who immediately looked away.
"Take that cereal, let's go." Peter said gruffly in Sam's ears. He slid his arm away.
"What, why?" Sam asked, confused at Peter's sudden tone.
"Because," Peter answered.
"Because, why?" Sam asked.
"Because of that guy." Peter said looking over his shoulder at him.
"What, him? Oh, he's nice." Sam said, "Say hi."
"No, no, no, no, I don't like the way he's looking at you." Peter said waving his hands dismissively.
Sam gave him a small frown, "All right, I probably would have taken this one anyway."
Sam handed him the box, Peter put it in the cart. Just then, the woman who was with the scruffy guy let go of her husbands hand and walked toward them.
"Aw, she's so cute!" She extended a hand and lightly pinched Lily's cheek, "Are you her parents?"
"Uh, actually," Peter began.
"Yes!" Sam smiled.
"Oh, yes, she looks just like you." the lady said before turning and walking away.
"Bye!" Lily called.
Peter looked at Sam, "Why did you tell her she was ours?"
"Oh, let her think she's ours, it won't hurt her." Sam said unconcernedly waving the question away with her hand.
Peter took Lily's chin in his right hand and then took Sam's in his left.
"What are you doing?" Sam said.
Pete looked at Lily and turned her face left and right, then, did the same to Sam. He let go of them both and pointed a finger at Lily first, "You do not look like her." he then pointed at Sam.
"What's wrong with looking like me?" Sam asked smacking his arm.
"Nothing, you're just not her mother." Pete said.
Sam blew a raspberry at him.
"Are we done now?" Pete asked glancing at the guy again.
"Yeah, oh...would you grab me two dozen eggs? I want to get some baking done." Sam said.
"Yeah." Peter said.
He was already past the cart when suddenly turned around, "Don't talk to that guy!" Pete whispered, pointing a warning finger at her.
"Fine!" Sam whispered back.
Luckily, the milk and eggs were right out of their aisle. Peter walked out of the aisle and headed straight for the eggs. He pulled open the freezer door, extracted two boxes, turned and closed the door with his foot. He took three steps and his cell phone in his pocket rang. He struggled to stack both boxes on his left arm and reached into his pocket with the other. He quickly checked the caller ID, "Brendon?" he asked. He put the phone to his ear, "Hello?"
"Pete, why aren't you here yet?" Brendon asked.
"What do you mean, why aren't I there yet?" Peter asked.
"I thought she called you! Didn't she call you! I saw her on the phone." Brendon said.
"What are you talking about?" Peter said making his way back to Sam.
"Are you on your way or something?" Brendon asked.
"You're crazy, man." Peter said arriving with the girls.
"Peter, you really don't know what's going on?" Brendon asked shocked.
"No." Peter said simply. He juggled the phone with his shoulder while he opened up the top carton of eggs to check if they were okay.
"Peter, Hash is awake."
Peter raised up his head from the carton. Three eggs rained down from the carton and crashed onto the floor leaving a yellow, sloppy mess.
"Oh, are you serious, they fell!" Sam said half laughing.
Peter stayed frozen in shock.
"Peter, did you hear me? Hash got out of her coma." Brendon said.
But Peter couldn't hear him, all he could hear were car alarms and they subsided into a great roar, much like the roar of waves in a watermelon.