There's Too Much Green To Feel Blue

And so the day was spent with Sam silently listening to Peter talk and cry of past memories and hurt feelings. The whole time Peter kept eating everything he had gathered around him. Sam even joined him by pulling out the only celery stick from the fridge and dipping it in a can of peanut butter.
"So in your recent dream," she said as she took a bite from the celery, "you were carrying Hash on your back and Lily was walking next to you and you were climbing a mountain?" she took another bite of celery, "Hash was using you to get to the top. The mountain represents a current struggle or problem. Was it snowing?"
"Yeah," Peter said accepting the celery Sam offered him, "It was very snowy and calm, but then out of nowhere there was this heavy fog and everyone was gone and an old chinese man was there and he told me that I had to pass a test before I could move on."
"Did the chinese man look like the guy from Karate Kid?" Sam asked.
"Yeah, he did!" Peter said astounded, "Does that mean I'm going to learn karate or something?"
"Nah, I was just wondering. His age probably represents his wisdom. Did the change of atmosphere change with the weather?"
"Yeah, when it got foggy I felt scared and sad." Peter said.
"Uhu." Sam said, "Well, these are all very normal dreams, Peter."
"What makes you say that?" Peter asked.
"Well, you're taking the test right now, Peter. you gotta get through this one obstacle and get over the mountain or your troubles." Sam said.
"So, if I pass this test," Peter said, "will I get Hash back?"
Sam gave him a serious stare, "No," she said softly, "she is your mountain, you have to get over her."
Peter stared at her, "I didn't take the test in the dream, I couldn't cross over the mountain."
"Because you haven't passed your test in real life." Sam said
Peter was suddenly infuriated. This wasn't a test, this was torture. Peter couldn't climb over a mountain but he was more likely to do that than get over Hash. And who was this chinese man to say that he couldn't get Hash back?
"Whatever, it's just a stupid dream, anyway." Peter said stretching out on the other side of the couch.
"It's your dream, it's your past, present and future." Sam said watching him as he stood up, walked around the couch and settled on the floor next to her.
"It's just ....a fucking dream." Peter said snatching a small green ball from the floor, turning to the right wall and bouncing it against the wall.
"Well, don't shoot the messenger. You wanted to know what it meant, I told you. Get over it and get over your mountain." Sam shot.
"It's not easy being like this." Peter said bouncing the ball.
"Yeah, well, it's not easy watching you sink to your grave." Sam said.
"If only." Peter said longingly, throwing the ball again.
Now Sam was infuriated, "Peter, if you want me to help you, you've got to meet me halfway. I know you don't want to be like this forever."
"I had her and I lost her." Peter murmured.
"You can't lose her if you never had her." Sam said.
Peter hugged his knees and spun the ball in his hand, "Leave." he said.
Sam frowned, "The chinese man was wise not to let you through, you're not ready."
"Leave." Peter said more sternly this time.
"Pass your test and cross your mountain. If not for me, then, for your child. If not for her, then, just die." Out of spite, and not knowing what else to do, Sam grabbed the celery from his lap, snapped it in half, got up and stormed out of the apartment.
He looked at the celery halves and took one of them. He felt terrible. He did ask for an interpretation of his dreams, he shouldn't have taken it out on Sam. Especially when she just wanted to see him smile, just like he had wanted to see her smile before.
Peter stared at the wall, then, in a sudden movement, he threw the ball against the wall and shattered a picture frame by accident. It fell to the floor and crashed. Gripping the celery tight, he hugged his knees and buried his head in them.
"Daddy?" he heard Lily.
He lifted his head and saw her standing in her doorway. He opened up his arms and Lily ran into them. He held Lily close, as if it were the last time he would ever see them. He held Lily close, as if it were the last time he would ever see her, as if she were about to get lost on a snowy mountain in the fog.
Sam wanted to sit outside her apartment again but she really didn't want William to attempt to take his shirt off again. So without turning the light on, she entered her apartment. She layed on the couch and hugged her knees in the semi-darkness of the setting sun.
As confident as she was this morning, she felt her flame had been put out. She reached into her gray pants and pulled out the cell phone that was bothering her. She placed it on the couch in front of her and sighed. She wasn't mad at Peter, she knew he didn't mean what he said. She was just a little frustrated with him. She understood that it was hard for him to let her help him when he felt like crap. He wasn't making things easy, but she knew it wouldn't be easy. All of this was hard for him. It was hard for him to talk about it with a steady voice and it was hard for her to hear him crumble under simple words.
Sam's phone sudden;y vibrated. She grabbed the phone and immediately sat up. A part of her was hoping that it was Peter. She looked at the phone and saw Brendon's adorable picture.
"What's up, Doc?" Sam answered.
"Hey, Sam, I'm in the neighborhood. I'm thinking of going to see Pete." he said,
"Um, I think that would be a bad idea." Sam said.
"How bad of an idea?" Brendon asked.
"So bad that Arnold Schwartzeneger will swoop down from a helicopter, grab you and say 'Get in the 'copter!' " she said in her best Arnold impression.
"Is it really that bad?" Brendon asked skeptically.
"I kinda just stormed out of his apartment." Sam said.
"Oh, do you want to meet me up, then? So you can catch me up on things....over dinner?"
Sam thought for a minute, "Sure, sugar daddy." she said, "Strictly business." she smiled.
"Of course." Brendon said, "I'm at the corner store."
"Ooh, the one with the hoy surfer guy?" Sam asked.
Brendon peered over the shelves, "Sure, I guess."
"You know, Brendon, I think he's single." Sam said.
"What?!" Brendon asked dropping two bags of M&M's he had in his hands.
"Don't worry, I'll be right over." Sam said.
She hung up and stood up. She looked down at her outfit : gray pants, a black and white striped shirt and a red vest.
"Eh, I'm dressed to rock." she said satisfied.

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The next morning, Peter felt just terrible. He was feeling incredibly guilty about his harsh words to Sam, on top of his bleeding heart. He was pushing away the only people he had left in his life. He didn't just want to lay around the apartment again. He kept seeing Sam storm out the door in his mind. So he got up early, he hadn't been able to sleep much. It was about six-thirty in the morning when he dressed in flip-flops, diry blue jeans, a white v-neck shirt, a gray hoodie and white sunglasses, packed a sleeping Lily into the car and drove to his mother's house.
When he arrived and handed Lily over to his mother, she immediately pulled him inside and questioned his appearance. Peter stayed for thirty minutes explaining what had happened at the hospital on that fateful day. He really didn't feel like being fussed over and she made him feel more guilty when she asked him why he hadn't told her what had happened right away.
He left as quickly as possible and headed straight to the grocery store to shop for more junk. Not wanting anyone to see his dirty, unshaven face and tired eyes, he pulled up his hoodie and kept his sunglasses on. The moment he walked in, a painful throb erupted through his chest. He had many wonderful memories in this store wtih Sam. She loved grocery shopping in this store because she said they had good music. He quickly grabbed a cart and began to fill it up fast to leave faster. He headed down an aisle and threw in every canned food and bagged item that he could. He went to a whole display of crackers, neared his cart and sweeped every box into the cart just as a woman was approaching it. Peter opened a box and stuffed crackers into his mouth.
"Pig!" the lady yelled.
Peter turned back to the lady and opened his full mouth at her. The lady cringed at him. He grabbed some bananas, crammed a whole one into his mouth and tossed the peel over his shoulder. He steered his way to the potato chip aisle and pulled out three of the biggest bags he had ever seen. Peter hardly had control over himself. He just felt so worthless and destructive. He walked through the entire store grabbing every unhealthy item in sight. He didn't care what he did to his body anymore.
He entered the final aisle, here he started to slow his pace. He was halfway through the aisle when a box caught his attention. He pulled it off the shelf. The box read 'Homestlye Noodles'.
Peter dropped the box and his hands slid slowly to his head. He couldn't take it anymore, these feelings were tearing him up. He ran from the box, ran from the cart and ran from the aisle. He blindly slammed into a display of watermelons. He gave a small scream and ran out of the store. He hopped into the car and drove as quickly as he could back to the apartments. He raced through the lobby, into the elevator and up to Sam's hallway. He burst right through her door as she so often did to him. Sam stood up from the couch and stood up in surprise.
"Peter?" but she was immediately silenced as he walked up to her and slid his arms around her.
"Forgive me." he said, "I don't want to lose you, too. I totally drove over here as soon as I saw that Homestyle Noodles box."
"What?" Sam said bewildered.
"Oh, my God, you probably hate me, I'm so sorry. If I never hear from you again, I'll understand."
And with that, he released her and ran out of the apartment as quickly as he had come.
Sam stared at the door, she was beyond confused.
"Homestyle Noodles?" she whispered to herself. She quickly went to the door, "What do you mean Homestyle Noodles?" she yelled after him.
She looked at her outfit, red skinny jeans, a white shirt and a black and white striped jacket. She decided to run after him.
She burst into the apartment and saw him sitting on the floor next to the couch. He had taken off his hoodie and his glasses.
"Why do I remind you of noodles? Is it because I'm homestyle or because I'm slurpy and juicy like a noodle?" Sam asked from the doorway.
Peter groaned and his his face in his hands, "I'm a terrible friend." he slid down into fetal position, "I know you hate me and you want to leave me."
"I don't hate you and I don't want to leave you." Sam said rolling her eyes, "I just want to wring your neck a little."
"Oh!" Peter groaned and rolled over so he faced his back.
"Peter, no I didn't mean it that way." Sam said leaving the door open, coming into the apartment and kneeling down behind him, "I was just making a joke. I don't want to kill you, I want to fill you with love, like a giant pinata."
"Go away." Peter moaned, "Don't look at me, I don't even want to look at myself."
Frustrated, Sam made an indignant noise, pulled the back of his hair and stood up.
"Ow!" Peter sat up and rubbed the back of his head, "What was that for?" he asked as she walked toward the door.
"For comparing me to a noodle!" Sam shot, spinning around.
"I'll noodle you." Peter threatened.
"There's only one thing I have to say about you laying around the house depressed." Sam proclaimed.
"What?" Peter asked.
"Start listening to Morissey! she cried. She stormed to the door.
"I am listening to Morissey!" Peter said.
"Then, stop!" Sam said. She walked out and slammed the door.
Barely five minutes had passed when she burst through the apartment door again with a bouquet of flowers.
"I'm sorry!" she said.
And she ran to Peter, closing the door behind her, threw herself down on her knees, tossed the flowers aside and threw herself at him.
"I'm sorry!" she repeated hugging him tightly.
"I'm sorry, too." Peter spoke into her shoulder.
"We're both so stupid!" she cried.
"I know!" Peter said.
"You a little more than me." Sam said.
"What, why?" Peter asked lifting his head.
"Because you're a boy, sweet cake." she said pushing his head back down.
"Oh, okay." he said softly as he buried his head back into her shoulder.
Sam sighed as she stroked his head, "We're both so caught up in being humans that we've forgotten to be ourselves."
"So, you're not going to leave me?" Peter asked fearfully.
"No, I'm not." she released him so she could look him in the face, "how could I leave you when you need me the most? You're my Honey Bunches of Peter!" she said squeezing his shoulders.
Peter bowed his head so she wouldn't see the flicker of a smile on his lips, "Why Honey Bunches?" he asked.
"Because, honey, there's a bunches of ya." she said shaking his shoulders.
Peter chuckled and lowered his head again, "I'm sorry for the things that are happening to you. You're acting out because that's how you feel," she placed her other hand on his chest, "you can't help that. Don't apologize for the way you feel when your feelings are all you have as a human."
Peter folded his knees and rubbed his face with both of his hands.
"And I know that I get frustrated and I walk out, but, you know what, I always come back." Sam said.
She watched as Peter ran his hands through his hair.
"Mark Hoppus was right, you know. He said, 'The past is always the future with the lights on'. Is that what you used to do when she was still in the coma? Would you just lay around miserable and broken hearted?"
Peter nodded slowly and hugged his knees.
"But when the past was your present, your future changed. Now you past is the present again and your future will change again, I'll take care of that." she placed a hand on his, "I know you feel like a walking corpse searching for something worth living for, but I'm here to help you see the beauty in life again."
Peter lifted his head at her, "Do you believe in me becasue I'm not sure I do."
"I'll do the believing for both of us until you can breathe again." Sam assured. She smiled, "She was alot prettier when she was asleep, huh?"
Peter gave a small smile, "Yeah, I guess you all are."
Sam frowned, "Well, that's not very fair. You can't judge all of us from the mistake of one."
"Well, I'm sorry," Peter shrugged, "I just don't have alot of faith in humanity or women right now."
Sam gasped, "How dare you compare me to that ho?"
"Hey," Peter warned, "She's my ho."
"Well, then, you must be the money maker." Sam insulted as she stood up.
"Nice comeback." he shot back.
"Well, you can choke on it." Sam said turning to the door.
"I'm choking with you in the room!" Peter said.
"Entonces que te ahoges!" she yelled and walked out the door.
The whole day passed and Sam hadn't returned yet. When the sun began to set, Peter got off the floor and picked Lily up at his mother's house. Lily was playing in her room and Pete had changed back into his black shorts and bulky green sweater. They had been at home for ten minutes when Sam came through the door.
"Look, I know we've been a little on edge lately and we're stressed out, but I brought you something." Sam smirked and pulled out a small rainbow colored lollipop from her pocket.
Peter allowed himself a small smile as he accepted the lollipop. It looked exactly like something Sam would have in her pocket.
He looked down at his lollipop and looked back at her. "You remember when we went to the hospital that day and you called Brendon your rescuer?"
"Yeah, boy." Sam smiled.
"You know, I was the one who carried you away and got you to the hospital. So, I think, I'm the rescuer."
"Really." Sam asked.
"I was the one who called the ambulance. I was the one who caught you as you fell." Peter explained.
Sam smiled, "No, Peter, I was the one who caught you when you fell."
Peter grinned.
"I caught you, now I got to put you on your feet." she finished.